Rollerskating? How illogical
by kathrynw221291
Summary: Spock/Kirk...Amanda takes Spock roller skating while visiting relatives in Iowa...who should he meet there but Jim Kirk.It will be multi-chapter. Teenage Kirk Spock kinda AU I suppose...just lots of cuteness, SEX IN LATER CHAPTERS...JUST SO YOU KNOW
1. Chapter 1

**SPOCK KIRK…AU**: THEY MEET UP AS TEENAGERS IN A ROLLER-RINK (YES A FRICKING ROLLER-RINK, DON'T EVEN ASK WHERE THAT IDEA CAME FROM; I HAVE NO CLUE)

I DUNNO HOW AMANDA GOT SPOCK TO GO TO THE ROLLER RINK…NOT EXACTLY LOGICAL BUT STILL

MAINLY JUST **DIALOGUE** AND **SMOOSHY FLUFF** SO FAR…NOT A LOT OF ACTION

**RATED T** FOR SAFETY

**SPOCK/KIRK/SPIRK/KOCK**

**CHARACTERS**: SPOCK, KIRK, AMANDA, OC UNCLE THOMAS GRAYSON, SAM KIRK, JIM KIRK, MENTION OF WINONA KIRK AND SAREK AND GEORGE KIRK, OH AND THE RED-GEAD SAM IS PURSUING (SHE HAS NO NAME SORRY RED-HEAD GIRL) OH AND ALSO JIM'S FRIEND WHO WORKS AT THE RINK, ALSO HAS NO NAME…I WAS GONNA MAKE HIM TO BE BONES BUT THAT WOULD NOT WORK OUT AS BONES IS FROM GEORGIA AND WOULDN'T WORK IN A ROLLER RINK IOWA (SORRY KARL URBAN YOU WON'T BE PRESENT IN THIS SPOCK/KIRK STORY)

**DISCLAIMER**: I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK; ALL CREDIT TO GENE RODDENBERRY/JJ ABRAMS AND THE ACTORS/ACTRESSES

**WARNING**: BOY/BOY SLASH GAYNESS…IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT DON'T READ IT

HOPE YOU ENJOY IT

Spock and Amanda are visiting her brother Thomas in Iowa for a week. They are visiting there because Sarek has gone off planet on a week-long diplomatic mission to mars. And Amanda didn't want to be cooped up in the Vulcan heat, when she had the chance to visit her beloved brother on earth. He had often written to her inviting her but she never had the opportunity as there was always something to stick around for. She had finally freed up enough time to have a week with her brother and she and Spock would visit earth together, which they hadn't done since Spock was 6 years old; 12 long years had passed since she had seen her family in their natural surroundings. Some relatives had visited her on Vulcan over this time, but she often found they couldn't cope with the conditions of the planet, which were very hot and dry, so had left soon after.

She and Thomas were walking down the street from his house a short way away from their destination. Amanda refused to tell Spock where they were going as she wanted to surprise him. Spock complained, of course that it was illogical to surprise people, as they may not like the surprise.

To this Amanda replied:

"Oh Spock loosen up baby! Surprises are fun, and you will like it I promise"

From that moment on she was walking awkwardly behind Spock with her hands over his eyes, Thomas making sure they were walking in the right direction and not stumbling because of their precarious walking.

Moments later they found themselves standing outside the building, its signs and lights glowing against the darkening night sky. It was 7:00pm and the stars were just starting to peak out behind the clouds.

Spock could hear Amanda giggling excitedly behind him, as a small amount of worry stirred in his abdomen.

She removed her cold fingers from his eyelids to reveal their location. Spock read the sign and frowned.

'Iowa roller-skating rink'

"Roller…skating? Does this involve putting shoes with wheels on my feet mother?"

Spock asked, remembering his mother telling him about how she and Thomas always used to go skating at roller-rinks when they were teenagers.

"yes spock it does…you will love it, I know you will, you just need to get the hang of it, don't worry son, just stay at the edge if you can't skate."

The dark-haired woman answered, wrapping an arm round spock's shoulder and squeezing slightly. Spock nodded and told himself that, as illogical as strapping wheels to your feet might seem, it was making his mother happy and he would persevere for this very reason.

They got their skates, handed over their shoes and headed to the rink; Amanda smiled in anticipation as Thomas took her hand and the stepped onto the rink.

She flashed spock an encouraging smile as she and her brother skated off, leaving spock to tremble around the edge, worried that he will fall down, he clings to the edges like a young child, watching the accomplished skaters whizz past him

Meanwhile two boys, a few years apart, had just ascended onto the rink. Their mother was busy at home working on star fleet assignments and reports, so she told them to go out and have some fun. She didn't need to tell them where to go as she already knew their destination; the battered old ice rink that had been there for years, it was her sons' favourite place to go in Iowa, besides the bars and clubs of course. So the 17 year old Jim Kirk and his older brother Sam Kirk, aged 22, were happily skating around the rink when the Vulcan and his two human family members were entering at the edge.

Jim was a natural skater, as he was friends with one of the guys who worked at the rink so he constantly hung out there, helping his friend clean it after work sometimes.

Spock was less of a natural. He watched as a blonde boy about his age raced past him laughing boisterously as he chased an older boy; he was swinging his arms to grab him. The older boy eventually skated off after a red-headed girl who was standing a few feet away. The blonde boy was unperturbed by being left alone and carried on skating slowly around, smiling charismatically at the other skaters, his blue eyes glittered.

Spock, spurned on by the confident blonde teen, decided to move from the edge and skate without support… it turned out this was not a good idea, as he lost his footing and his knees buckled, he started to fall to the ground when the blonde boy he had been watching appeared behind him and caught him.

"Hey there, are you alright? Don't worry, I've got you"

Jim said, smiling as he held the Vulcan up by his elbows, dragging him backwards so he was steady on the skates.

"Thank you for your assistance; I placed too much confidence in my skating skills"

Spock replied, his hands were shaking and his stature was unsteady and cautious.

"Don't worry about it, lucky I was here to catch you or you might be on the floor right now huh?"

Jim replied, placing a hand on the older guy's back tentatively.

"You seem to be rather skilled at skating"

Spock replied, blushing at his inability and over-confidence, which lead to him embarrassing himself on the rink.

"I'm only any good because I come her like every night with my friend, I used to be falling everywhere, and I was on the floor on my back more than I was upright at first"

Jim said, sensing the other guy's shame at being inexperienced.

"Oh, really? It looks to me as if you are a natural"

Spock replied, secretly happy that he was not the only one who was unsteady on his skates. He could feel the human's hands still on his elbow and back. This didn't trouble him as much as he thought it would. Perhaps his half-human side was showing through?

"oh hell yeah, I may be a natural now but that's only through years and years of practice, even I end up on my ass every now and then…normally because I'm chasing Sam around, but still"

Jim replied, guiding Spock gently out of the way of two skaters who tore past them.

"What is your name?"

Spock asked, looking into the cerulean eyes of the stranger who has saved him from his distress.

"Jim, Jim kirk, what's yours?"

The boy replied, leaning against the edge of the rink with one elbow, whilst keeping his hand on Spock's back.

"Spock. I am here with my mother and my uncle; we are visiting him on earth for a week whilst my father is off-planet"

Spock supplied, confused by how easy it was to talk to the human before him

"Oh right cool, what planet do you call home then, Spock?"

Jim asked, turning to face the Vulcan and crossing his ankles elegantly.

"Vulcan is my home planet; my father is from there and my mother is from earth"

Spock answered, cautiously reading the reaction from Jim, he often got a negative reaction from people who thought that mixing of cultures and species was not a positive thing. He had been called 'half-breed scum' by many an alien or human in his time.

The human however smiled at his response and nodded.

"Oh awesome, that's the reason for the pointed ears and slanted eyebrows then?"

Jim replied, looking at said ears and smiling again.

"Indeed, you are very observant Jim. Who are you here with?"

Spock asked, looking around the rink for his mother and uncle, and then back to the blonde.

"I'm here with my brother Sam."

He said, pointing across the rink to an older boy with sandy hair, who was skating around, holding hands with a pretty, ginger-haired girl.

"So you can't really skate, and I can…what do you say to me teaching you to skate a little bit? If you don't wanna I totally understand, I mean you might find it a bit patronising or-"

Jim proposed, but Spock interrupted him before he could say anything else:

"I believe that would be acceptable, thank you."

"Awesome! Lets get started then Spock."

Jim said, moving away from the edge of the rink and looking into Spock's dark eyes, smiling encouragingly.

"So, first things first, you gotta learn how to walk in the skates."

Jim said, watching Spock's feet as he cautiously moved from the edge, then he slipped forward, Jim skidded towards him and held onto the Vulcan's sides as he nearly fell backwards again.

He lightly pushed Spock back to the edge, making sure he didn't fall over.

"Alright, maybe you should watch me first, ok?"

Jim asked, as Spock settled himself against the edge and caught his balance once more.

"Yes Jim, I believe that would be wise."

Spock replied, voice a little shaky as he gripped the edge tightly.

"Hey, don't worry about it, everyone's worried when they first skate, just watch ok?"

Jim said, patting Spock lightly on the shoulder before moving, he put one skate in front of the other slowly, not wobbling or slipping as Spock had done. He walked a few steps in this way, turned and walked back to Spock.

"See, that is all you have to do, it's like walking just with wheels under your feet…do you think you can try that for me?"

Jim asked, trying not to sound patronising.

"I believe I can do that, yes."

Spock answered, insecurity plaguing his words.

"How about I walk beside you so that if you slip, I'll be ready to stop you falling?"

Jim asked, smiling at the Vulcan.

"That would be a wise decision, I am likely to slip as I have already demonstrated, and I would be reassured if you were to do so, thank you."

Spock replied, looking sideways at the blonde boy next to him.

"Sure thing Spock, so come away from the edge and just put one foot in front of the other, but don't lift you feet off the ground, roll them with the wheels, yeah?"

Jim said, sidling towards the dark haired boy, and skating slowly next to him.

"Yes, I think I understand."

Spock answered, concentrating on his feet and moving them in the correct way. Jim watched him, making sure he didn't move too quickly.

Spock wobbled and Jim caught him again, grabbing hold of the Vulcan's hand. At this action Spock pushed Jim backwards, wrenching his hand away from the human, shock evident on his face.

"Dude! What happened there? All I did was stop you falling; no need to push me!"

Jim replied, shocked at the sudden outburst from the quiet, and reserved Vulcan.

Spock stopped skating and flushed dark green, he slowly made his way back to the side of the rink, leaving Jim standing flabbergasted and a little pissed off a few feet away.

Jim came back to his senses and skated quickly to where Spock was leaning.

"I apologise for my reaction Jim, it appears you do not know about Vulcan physiology"

Spock said, not looking at the boy before him, who was standing with his arms folded over his chest, frowning slightly.

"Uh, what?"

Jim asked, utterly confused at what he had done to upset Spock.

"For vulcans such as myself hands are…an erogenous zone; you taking my hand in such a way is equivalent to a human kiss"

Spock answered, watching the human blush dark pink and stutter for a few moments.

"Fuck! I'm sorry Spock, I didn't realise that…wow this is kinda uncomfortable…we've barely known each other 15 minutes and I've already kissed you…that's quick even for me"

Jim replied, smiling awkwardly at the Spock.

"Do not apologise, as you said you were ignorant to the fact I have supplied you with, let us forget the incident and resume the skating lesson?"

Spock said, moving away from the edge of the rink for what seemed like the hundredth time in the last 15 minutes.

"Uh, yeah right, and I will avoid grabbing your hands if you fall…it's just your hands though right? No other body parts I need to be wary of?"

Jim asked, blushing again.

"The hands are the only place you need worry about Jim."

Spock answered, carefully rolling out from the side, Jim following close behind him, arms out ready to catch him if he fell.

At that point Spock's mother rolled past, her cheeks lightly flushed and a large smile on her face.

"Greetings spock! How are you enjoying the experience of roller-skating?"

She asked, skidding to a stop in front of them. She had apparently not noticed Jim.

Then she looked into his face, a threatening look flashing in her eyes for a moment; Jim flinched when he noticed this.

"I find it most difficult mother; I am not a natural at this exercise, however Jim is teaching me how to skate without coming to injury or harm"

Spock replied, wobbling slightly as he gestured to the blonde hovering behind him. Jim placed a hand on Spock's ribs as he lost his balance for a second.

He waved at the woman before him, who was now smiling at him warmly.

"Hey there, I'm just helping him skate, nothing to worry about."

Jim said, wondering why he had to make this excuse, it was his natural instinct to feign innocence when he was with people's parents; they always seemed to assume he was trying to get into their son or daughter's pants. To be honest he normally was, but that wasn't the point. He wasn't trying to get into Spock's pants, although he had just accidently kissed him but he actually _was_ just teaching him to skate. Accidental kisses aside.

Amanda smiled and patted him on the shoulder.

"Well that is very considerate of you Jim, thank you for looking after my son for me, I did wonder how he would fare at skating but he seems to be in capable hands so I needn't worry"

She said, stroking Spock's cheek lightly, continuing to smile at Jim.

Jim decided that he liked Spock's mother, she was sweet and not accusing him of anything, and she was genuinely grateful to Jim for looking after her son.

With a kiss to a mortified Spock's forehead, she turned and skated away, leaving the boys in an awkward silence for a moment.

"She's nice! You have her eyes"

Jim said, letting go of Spock as they moved slowly into the rink.

"I have often been told that I have her eyes. I am glad she did not tell you to leave me to my own devices; I would very likely be on the floor if it were not for your teaching, Jim"

Spock answered, turning to face the younger boy, gratitude swimming in his eyes.

"I think you don't give yourself enough credit Spock, you seem to actually be grasping skating pretty well; I mean you just turned around without wobbling or anything!"

Jim replied, accepting the half-compliment from the Vulcan and smiling.

However his words seemed to jinx Spock as he then proceeded to flail his arms and skid on the spot as a skater tore past him, knocking him off balance.

Jim moved like lightning, racing behind Spock and catching him under his arms as Spock lurched towards the floor.

"You ok? Nearly on the floor again there Spock, lucky I got quick reflexes!"

Jim said, holding tightly onto Spock, wrapping his arms around his torso and pulling him flush against his chest.

It was at this moment that Sam rolled past, having left the red-head on the other side of the rink.

"Well well Jimmy, what's going on here then?"

Sam asked, tapping his little brother on the shoulder and laughing.

"Oh, Hi Sam, I'm teaching him how to skate"

Jim replied, spinning his head around to look at his older brother. He made sure Spock was steady on his feet, letting him cling to Jim's sleeve, before pulling his brother into a one armed hug.

The two human boys laughed as they broke apart. Sam ruffling his brother's spiky blonde hair as he had done since they were kids. Even though they were now 17 and 22, they kept to tradition as always.

"Sam, this is spock"

Jim said, taking hold of Spock's ribs and smiling.

"Oh right, so you've made friends with a Vulcan and now you're…teaching him to skate did you say?"

Sam asked, waving at Spock in a friendly way.

"Yeah, pretty much."

Jim answered.

Sam offered a hand for Spock to shake.

"Hey there Spock, my name's Sam, I see you've already met my idiot little brother. Nice to meet ya kid"

Spock stared at the hand, confused at what he should do.

"You shake it, you know like a handshake?"

Sam said, his smile fading a little as the Vulcan continued to stare blankly at him.

"Vulcan's do not use this greeting, we do something different with our hands, allow me to show you"

Spock answered. Jim understood why they didn't shake hands; it would be like kissing a bunch of strangers all the time and that would be weird.

"Alright then laddie, show me what you got"

Sam lowered his hand and smiled at Spock, awaiting the gesture.

Spock lifted his hand and held it palm outwards with the middle and ring fingers separated to create a v shape.

Spock watched in amusement as the two brothers made the shape with their hands and copied him.

Sam raised his eyebrows at Jim, who flushed lightly, knowing what his brother was suggesting. He was hinting that Jim was trying to get with Spock, which, again, he wasn't. It seemed that people did not trust him to do nice things unless there was an ulterior motive.

Whatever. Jim found that he didn't care what other people thought of him.

"Well it was nice meeting you Spock, but I've got some serious skating to do, see you later Jim, oh and good luck with the skating Vulcan boy!"

Sam called back as he patted Jim on the arm and smiled at his audience, before skating off in the opposite direction.

"Your brother is very energetic and confident Jim, he has quite a likeness to you in his facial features, and you seem to have the same eyes"

Spock answered, looking sideways at the human that was still holding his elbow reassuringly.

"Everyone says that; Sam and I have got our Dad's eyes. Mum always gets upset when people mention it to her; see because my dad died when I was born she doesn't like being reminded of him."

Jim answered, looking sadly towards his brother who was skating circles around the red haired girl across the rink from them.

"I apologise Jim, I did not mean to upset you in any way."

Spock responded, touching the human's arm lightly.

"No, it's fine, I don't mind having his eyes, and it's my mum that gets upset about it."

Jim replied, turning to Spock and blinking his father's azure eyes at him whilst smiling widely.

"So let's get back to the skating shall we?"

Jim changed the subject, watching Spock contemplate his next comment for a moment.

"Yes, I believe that would be a wise course of action Jim."

Spock retorted, attempting to steady himself on the skates.

"Ok I think you should try skating without me holding you up…you think you can do it?"

Jim broached, smiling up at the dark haired boy as panic flashed across his eyes at the comment.

"I believe I might be able to do so"

Spock answered, looking into Jim's reassuring face.

"Alright then, I'll wait here-

Jim skated to a place about 10 feet away from Spock

-and you skate towards me, I will catch you if you fall, I've got good reflexes remember? And if you feel you can't do it just say so and I'll come closer….alright?"

Jim called to spock from his position. Holding his thumbs up in what spock supposed was an encouraging way.

Spock stared at Jim as he skated away from him, leaving him standing alone.

"Yes Jim"

He spoke warily, looking around him, he began to calculate the possibility that he would fall. It was not a positive percentage; 82.75%. There was sometimes a merit to calculating odds of success and failure. And sometimes there was not. He pushed these thoughts away and carefully rolled towards Jim, taking each slow step at a time.

Jim watched him, smiling. In fact he was worried that Spock would fall and then he wouldn't wanna talk to his teacher anymore. He watched, ready to leap into action if anything bad happened. He dodged his brother and the red head as they skated past him, Sam pulling the girl around the rink as she squealed with laughter.

Spock was moving fairly confidently, there was an occasional wobble, which he recovered from by balancing using his arms as counter weight. Within a few short minutes Spock was moving quickly into Jim's open arms. He held onto Jim's sides as he reached him, effectively pulling Jim into a hug.

"See? You totally did that all on your own without any help from me! Well done Spock!"

Jim said, patting the Vulcan on the back and smiling up at him.

Their faces were inches from each other, as they stood in the hug for a few minutes. Jim was shivering as he felt Spock's warmth embrace him and the warm breath puffed out on his neck. Then it happened.

Spock pulled back from the hug, took Jim's face in his hands and kissed him, hard, on the mouth.

Without time to think Jim was being kissed by the Vulcan, he felt the rough tongue brush against his lower lip, and allowed it entrance.

He clung tightly to Spock's sides as their tongues explored each other's mouths and teeth clinked together comfortably.

Jim could not believe that this was happening, one minute he was teaching him to skate and now his tongue was down his throat. Not that Jim minded in the slightest, he was just taken aback that was all.

They broke apart, cheeks flushed and panting slightly.

"Jim, I apologise…I let emotion control-

Spock started to say, looking mortified at what had happened.

Jim however interrupted the pretty Vulcan:

"Nuh uh mister! You are not gonna apologise for that amazing kiss…I have absolutely no problems with what just happened…didn't you enjoy it?"

Jim said, smiling in a dazed way, still in shock from the epic kiss he had just been subjected to.

Spock looked a little taken aback himself by Jim's interruption.

"Yes, I did enjoy it, but I assumed that you were not comfortable with me kissing you, as I have not known you for very long and I was taking liberties with your open personality. You do not believe that I was wrong to kiss you?"

Spock responded, looking confused and bewildered, well as confused and bewildered as a Vulcan can look.

"Oh hell no! Wrong? No way! I was a little shocked at first but no, totally ok with you kissing me, I mean if that's what you wanna do just go for it…also it wasn't totally one sided there Spock, my tongue was as much in your mouth as yours was in mine"

Jim responded, stroking the Vulcan's pointed ear with a fingertip, eliciting a moan from the older boy.

Spock flushed dark green at Jim's touch, letting his words sink in for a moment.

"So you would not find it disagreeable if I were to repeat the occurrence? Perhaps we should move our ministrations to somewhere more…comfortable?"

Spock responded, flooded with happiness that his emotions had not been rejected by the human boy.

"No I wouldn't be "disagreeable", yeah somewhere where you are less likely of ending up in a heap on the floor…but what about your mum and your uncle, I will need to tell Sam that we're leaving as well…let me just go tell him, wait here I'll be right back"

Jim said, and before Spock could reply Jim tore off towards his brother.

Spock watched as he whispered into Sam's ear, said brother smiled at Jim and then looked pointedly at Spock, before nodding and ruffling Jim's hair again. Reaching into his pocket, Sam pulled out what looked like a wallet, he retrieved a small square packet and pushed it into his brothers hand.* Jim looked down at it and his eyebrows rose. Sam nodded his head again and pushed his brother away playfully. Spock frowned, wondering what the older kirk brother had given Jim, but before he could think about it the blonde had pocketed the packet and within minutes was back at Spock's side.

"Ok, Sam's fine with us leaving. Can you see your mum anywhere? Coz we'll need to tell her as well…are you sure you wanna go somewhere with me…I was thinking we could go back to mine; I live just down the street from here, and it's warm there and you don't have to wear skates with wheels underneath…but if you don't wanna then we can just-

Jim babbled, looking warily at Spock and thinking about what his brother had given him.

Spock interrupted him

"Yes Jim, I am sure I would like to go somewhere else with you, your house seems like the logical place. I can see my mother, she is just across the rink talking to my uncle, we should make our way to her now, if you will escort me over there as I am not confident I will not fall whilst making my way there alone. Stop worrying Jim, this is what I want to do."

Spock finished, pointing to where Amanda and Thomas were leaning against the edge of the rink, chatting happily.

Jim smiled at Spock, realising that he was seriously wanting to go to Jim's house, well not that Jim minded, whatever happened happened, he would let Spock do all the controlling. Jim was used to being in control of sexual situations, but this time he wouldn't feel right doing this with Spock; the ball was in the Vulcan's court in this case. And Jim was happy with that conclusion.

With that Spock grabbed hold of Jim's hand, and smiled, yes actually smiled, at the human, who was blushing slightly in recognition of the meaning behind Spock's gesture.

Jim then snapped out of his brain melt and lightly pulled Spock along beside him, towards Amanda.

Jim was not surprised when Spock let go of his hand as they neared the elegant dark haired form of his mother.

"Mother, would I be permitted to leave with Jim, to go to his house and practice skating techniques for the night?"

Spock asked the woman, who smiled and raised her eyebrows slightly. She shared a knowing glance with her brother, to whom she bore a large resemblance, having the same dark eyes and warm smile, and nodded in Spock's direction. Jim knew what the adults were thinking: 'is that what you kids are calling it nowadays? Practicing skating techniques eh?'

"I assume it would be possible for me to stay the night at your house Jim?"

Spock asked, turning to the beautiful human boy with an expectant look on his face.

"Yeah of course Spock, I've got sleeping bags and spare mattresses and stuff"

Jim answered, feeling a little awkward at the implications behind Spock's question. The packet in Jim's pocket seemed all the more likely of being used if he understood what Spock was meaning behind his innocent question.

Amanda looked between the two boys and smiled again.

"I will contact you in the morning mother; you need not worry about me. I'm sure Jim will be able to direct me to Uncle Thomas' house if necessary"

Spock answered, touching his mother's shoulder lightly. She smiled at him and nodded reassuringly.

"That will be most acceptable Spock; enjoy yourself with Jim"

Amanda responded, looking at Jim for a second and planting a light kiss to her son's forehead as she had done earlier.

"Where do you live Thomas? I know my way around most places in Iowa"

Jim asked, looking into the warm face of the older man and smiling.

"Finches Avenue, number 27, do you know where that is, kid?"

Thomas asked, patting Jim lightly on the arm.

"Yeah I do, that's just a few streets away from my house; awesome! I'll take you there in the morning if you want Spock?"

Jim replied, happy that he knew where to go when Spock needed to go home the next day. Anxiousness fluttered in Jim's stomach at the imminent activities that might be happening between him and Spock when they arrived at the old farmhouse. He let himself be reminded that Spock had the reigns and anything he wanted to do, or not do was fine with Jim, he was just happy to be spending time with Spock at all.

"Thank you Jim, I will be most grateful if you could do so. Thank you mother, uncle, I will take my leave now, enjoy your time at the skating rink, I will see you both tomorrow morning, farewell."

Spock answered, before wrapping an arm around Jim's shoulder and directing him away from his family towards the exit of the skating rink.

"I am sorry that I assumed I would be spending the night at your house Jim, I was not sure of what we intended to do when we returned to your house, but I imagine it would end up with me staying over. If I was incorrect to assume you wanted me to stay then I apologise. Also I lied to my mother saying we were going to be skating, I was not sure that she would want to know the truth of the possibilities that might occur…I apologise for-

Spock was talking quietly but Jim could hear how the words were tinged with regret and shame.

Jim decided to interrupt the sad confessions flowing from the Vulcan's lips:

"hey, no it's fine honestly, I'm just happy to do whatever you want and go as far as you want to with this; if you just wanna sit and talk I would be fine with that, stop apologising it's absolutely ok…the ball is in your court here spock; whatever you want to do is ok with me."

Jim answered, hugging Spock to his side and smiling up at him.

While they had been talking Spock had not noticed they had made their way to the locker room. Jim untangled himself from Spock and sat on the seat, untying the laces of his boots and removing them, revealing violently coloured stripy socks. Spock followed suit and also removed his boots. The boys walked to the counter in silence to retrieve their own shoes. They walked back to the bench and sat in silence for a moment.

"thank you for being so understanding Jim, it is just that I do not normally do this sort of thing; meeting new people and forming an instant connection with them, enough to want to leave with them and go back to their houses. It is new for me. I am happy that you are not pressuring or controlling me as my past partners have done."

Spock finally said, taking Jim's hand again to reassure him.

"You're welcome Spock, I wouldn't wanna pressure you or anything, this can be as fast or as slow as you want, seriously I'm ok with whatever happens between us"

Jim answered, smiling as Spock entwined their fingers. Once they had put their shoes on they walked out of the roller-rink into the night, Spock had his arm around Jim's waist and Jim's arm rested on spock's shoulder, hugging him against the cold wind.

DUN DUN DUN CLIFFHANGER

DON'T WORRY PEOPLE I AM GOING TO ADD MORE CHAPTERS…I JUST THOUGHT THIS WAS TOO LONG AND GETTING LONGER SO I NEEDED TO SPLIT IT UP

HOPE THIS IS OKAY SO FAR

I THINK THE CHARACTERS ARE A LITTLE BIT OOC, AND I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT AMANDA OR WINONA SO I DIDN'T GIVE THEM VERY BIG PARTS…BUT I THINK AMANDA WOULD BE ALL HAPPY AND LOVEY-DOVEY AND SWEET WITH HER BABA SPOCK

WILL THERE BE SEX OR WILL THERE NOT? YOU WILL HAVE TO WAIT AND SEE

*THE LITTLE PACKET THING THAT SAM GIVES JIM IS A CONDOM BTW, IF ANY OF YOU WERE CONFUSED…BECAUSE SPOCK WAS THE ONE WATCHING I SUPPOSED THAT HE WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT ONE WAS…BEING VULCAN AND EVERYTHING…ALSO I DIDN'T WANNA MAKE THE SEX STUFF TOO OBVIOUS IN THE FIRST CHAPTER SO I CALLED IT A "PACKET" THROUGHOUT X SORRY IF ANYONE WAS CONFUSED

WINONA WILL PROBABLY BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER, AND NOT JUST A PASSING MENTION

SPOCK AT A ROLLER RINK = FREAKING AWESOME X


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 of "Roller skating? How illogical"**

**Rated M for sexytiems **

**Obvs I don't own star trek all kudos to Mr. Roddenberry and Mr. Abrams, and the actors of course**

**Hope you like the second instalment **

"How far is it to your place of dwelling, Jim?"

Spock asked, as they walked down the dark streets. They had their jackets pulled tight around them against the autumn wind.

"Not far now, it's that house; the last one on the right with the red gate do you see?"

Jim replied, drumming his fingers at Spock's ribs as he pointed towards his old family home with the other hand.

"Y-yes I d-do see it"

The Vulcan responded, shivering slightly and attempting, and failing, to stop his teeth from chattering.

"You're cold Spock; here put this on."

Jim said, un-wrapping the scarf from around his neck and holding it out for Spock to take.

Spock, however just looked down at it.

"I do not wish to trouble or inconvenience you Jim; Vulcans merely have a higher body temperature and therefore do not deal well with cold weather. On Vulcan the lowest temperature is 15◦C."

Spock answered, pushing the scarf back towards Jim with a shivering hand.

Before Spock could do or say anything else Jim was wrapping the deep red scarf round and round his neck, finally pulling it up around the Vulcan's ears before smiling and nodding at his accomplishment.

"J-Jim, I assure you this is n-not necessary"

Spock said, looking sideways at the human beside him.

"I can hear you shivering Spock…I think it _is_ necessary if you can't speak without your teeth chattering. Try saying my name again?"

Jim said, smiling as a shiver ran over his spine too. Spock raised an eyebrow at the odd response, but complied with it.

"J-J-Jim."

Spock stuttered out, as his teeth clinked together.

"See? Can't even say my name without shivering. I've got a hat and gloves at home…we'll get you warmed up when we get inside ok?"

Jim answered, giggling as his point was proven simply by Spock's chattering teeth. Just at that moment the two teenagers turned off the road and walked through the red gate and up the small path towards Jim's front door.

Unlatching himself from Spock, Jim reached beneath the collar of his jacket and pulled out a rough piece of string from around his neck; on the end of which hung a silver key. He unlocked the farmhouse door quickly and walked in, enjoying the sudden warmth of the room.

Spock entered behind him, still shivering slightly. He stared around at the hallway, which led into a seating area with a small television in the centre. Then Spock noticed the blonde woman asleep on the sofa, she was breathing evenly and she had 5 PADDs scattered around her. Jim smiled at Spock for a moment before moving towards his sleeping mother. He picked up the PADDs and placed them in a pile on the small coffee table to the left of the sofa. Pulling a blanket from the back of the sofa, he covered Winona with it; tucking it in at the sides, with a final kiss to her forehead he walked back to the bottom of the stairs to where Spock was standing.

"Come on then Spock, we gotta get you warm before you turn into a Popsicle!"

Jim said, touching Spock on the elbow and chuckling slightly. Spock shivered again, but followed Jim up the stairs dutifully.

At the top of the stairs Jim turned to Spock suddenly and hugged him tightly. Spock was a little taken aback by the sudden closeness, but slowly wrapped an arm around the human's back.

"Jim? Is there a reason you are embracing me? Are you alright?"

Spock asked, pulling away from the boy and staring into his face.

"No reason, I'm fine…just glad you're here with me that's all Spock…nothing to worry about."

Jim answered, smiling widely and he started walking, still with his arms entangled with Spock's, towards his bedroom door.

He pushed against the door with a shoulder, walking backwards into the room as Spock tentatively walked forwards. After letting go of Spock he walked towards his cupboard. He took off his leather jacket and threw it over the back of his desk chair.

As Jim rooted in the cupboards for some unknown and apparently elusive object, Spock looked around the room. The walls were painted pale blue with borders of dark blue scattered with tiny yellow stars. There were photographs pinned to the walls, with Jim, his mother and the older brother who Spock had met earlier. There were also a few photos of who Spock assumed to be Jim's father; He had a strong jaw line and twinkling blue eyes like his son. There was a small desk in the corner with a computer terminal and lots of PADDs piled in front of it. On the desk there were also a scattering of mugs and a pair of dark thick-framed glasses.

Before Spock could look around anymore Jim emerged from the cupboard carrying an orange and red blanket. Spock raised an eyebrow.

"It's for you, silly! To warm you up."

Jim responded, laughing at Spock's confusion. Again Spock seemed to have no choice but to comply with Jim's will to warm him up.

The blanket was unfolded and wrapped about his shoulders and chest. Once he was apparently wrapped up enough, Jim lightly pushed Spock backwards until the back of his knees were pressing gently against the bed. He was forced to sit on the bed and waited whilst Jim disappeared again, this time rooting elbow deep in a drawer of fluffy looking items.

Spock made no move to question the human; human's were illogical by default and questioning their motives often proved puzzling for Vulcans such as himself; or half Vulcan, anyway.

Jim returned holding an item that was knitted from about four different grey wools. It had two long plaited tassels and had patterns knitted into it. With a smile on his face Jim sat himself in Spock's lap abruptly. Another eyebrow raise from the Vulcan caused Jim to giggle slightly, before shoving the hat onto Spock's head, making sure not to hurt the delicate pointed ears in the process.

"There! You should be perfectly warm now, Spock."

Jim said, removing himself from the Vulcan's quivering knees and placing his hands on his hips. He admired his handiwork, smiling down at Spock.

Spock removed his boots, after untangling his hands from being wrapped in the fluffy blanket, and manoeuvred himself so he was sitting cross legged on the single bed. Jim then proceeded to remove his worn trainers and sat opposite Spock, also cross-legged.

"Feeling warmer now?"

Jim asked, stroking a cool finger along Spock's green-tinged cheekbone and smiling fondly.

"Yes; thank you"

Spock said, leaning forward slightly and placing a chaste kiss on Jim's lips.

He shrugged the blanket off of his shoulders and placed a hand on Jim's shoulder. The human seemed to understand what Spock was initiating and leaned back a little bit, unfolding his legs. Spock did the same and started to crawl towards Jim, who was now scooting backwards to lie on his back, looking up at Spock innocently, as a blush peppered his arched cheekbones.

As Spock hovered over Jim's body for a moment, the tassels of the hat tickled Jim's nose, causing him to wrinkle his nose and chuckle lightly. This was all Spock needed to drive him over the edge; within a second his mouth was on Jim's, his rough Vulcan tongue pleading entrance between Jim's plump pink lips.

As they broke apart both boys were blushing. Spock was fingering the hem of Jim's long sleeved top, to which the boy understood that it must be removed, which he did quickly. His skinny yet muscular torso was revealed, a small smattering of freckles grace his shoulders and taut stomach. His arms are muscular and so is his chest, a six-pack which is clearly defined was visible beneath his dusky pink nipples. Spock was staring, his eyes were wide and a hint of a smile was tugging at the greenish, slightly swollen Vulcan lips. Jim chuckled at the scrutiny, blushing again.

Spock stared into Jim's bright blue eyes, before nodding minutely at him. This signalled that Jim could now undress Spock too…it was only fair after all.

Jim pushed the dark jacket off of Spock's shoulders and looked at the long fluffy jumper Spock was wearing, it easily reached mid-thigh. Vulcan clothes are obviously not designed to be removed easily. Well Jim always liked a challenge. Then he paused, which Spock noticed.

"Are you sure you're warm enough? Coz I don't wanna remove clothes if you're gonna be cold."

Jim asked, fiddling with the neck of Spock's jumper and stroking the tip of a pointed ear.

"Yes Jim, I am most definitely warm enough; please do not cease your ministrations."

Spock answered, shuddering at Jim's cool touch.

"I'll take that as a yes."

Jim laughed, before grabbing the bottom of the jumper and pushing it gently over the dark, hat covered head of the boy on top of him.

Jim hesitantly ran his hand down from Spock's neck, over a green nipple and over tight six-pack muscles, which earned a shiver from the Vulcan. Spock sat in between Jim's splayed knees, before kissing the human again. This time it was harder and more forceful and desperate. Jim chuckled against the lips, and then Spock moved his way down; kissing a tanned jaw line, and then suckling on an earlobe, before sucking hard on the junction between neck and shoulder. He removed his mouth, puffing small breaths against cool skin. Spock admired the small purplish marks he had left on Jim's collar bone.

"More! More please!"

Jim moaned, threading his hand under the hat and carding his fingers through the dark hair. Jim pulled at the tassels of the hat, before taking the hat completely off and throwing onto the desk chair blindly.

"Yes, Jim"

Spock murmured against Jim's shoulder. He placed his gorgeously warm lips around a sensitive nipple and darted his tongue around it, causing Jim's eyes to roll back in his head.

"Unf! Oh god! So so good baby, so good!"

Jim moaned.

Spock detached his mouth and placed a hand in Jim's dirty blonde hair.

He ran his hand down the back of Jim's neck and down the befreckled back. He stopped at the waistband of the boy's jeans. He hooked his thumbs in the belt loops and stared at the straining erection, pulsing against the dark denim.

"Wait, wait I need to give you something before anything _more_ happens."

Jim said, seeing the lustful glint in Spock's eyes as he stared.

Spock was thrown from his reverie when Jim reached into a pocket and pulled out the

Purple square packet his brother had given him earlier. He pushed it between Spock's fingers and waited for his response.

"What is this, Jim? I am not accustomed to this small packet or what it is used for. I apologise"

Spock spoke quietly, realising that the object he was holding and turning over in his fingers was of great importance to Jim.

"You don't know what it is? Don't they have condoms on Vulcan?"

Jim looked wide-eyed in shock.

"I have never seen a "condom" previous to this moment…what is the purpose of it?"

Spock responded, stroking a finger along Jim's blushing cheek gently.

"It's… uh…well boys put them over their…uh…cocks to shield their partners and themselves from sexual diseases…and pregnancy and stuff."

Jim said, taking the condom from Spock and opening the packet with his fingers.

"Oh, it is a form of contraception, I understand now…and you want me to wear this when we engage in sexual intercourse?"

Spock answered, looking between the condom and Jim's blushing face for a few moments.

"uh yeah please…I just…I've never had sex without one and I don't…it might seem really stupid but I wanna be safe…not that I think you've got any diseases…or that I'm saying that I have either…I just don't wanna risk it you know?"

Jim stuttered, looking away from Spock in obvious embarrassment. He placed the opened condom packet onto the bedside table and continued to not look at Spock.

"I understand Jim, safety is an important part of the trust that comes with sexual encounters; of course I will wear it if you wish me to."

Spock responded, cupping Jim's beautiful face and placing a light kiss on his full lips.

"Thanks Spock, I just…it's important to me"

Jim answered, as Spock withdrew and placed his hands on the button of Jim's jeans, unfastening it slightly, whilst a warm fingertip grazed the human's sandy-coloured happy trail and freckled stomach.

"Do it, do it… faster Spock"

Jim commanded, looking intensely into Spock's dark chocolate eyes and nodding.

Spock followed the order and unbuttoned and unzipped the jeans, feeling the boxer-covered erection beneath it move against his fingers.

The jeans were quickly removed and Jim writhed beneath Spock as he kissed his way down Jim's torso and over his sharp hipbones. Then the human placed his hands at the top of Spock's leggings and tugged the elastic with a cautious fingertip, causing the Vulcan to look up and raise a daring eyebrow. Within a few seconds the leggings were removed to reveal dark green boxer shorts, which were also straining with an aching erection.

Spock straddled Jim, rubbing his erection against the human's. The influx of pleasure at his action was overwhelming; he couldn't suppress the throaty moan that poured from his lips as Jim bucked his hips upwards from the bed.

Placing his hands on Spock's hips, Jim lifted his torso and placed a light kiss on the Vulcan's lips.

"I want you to fuck me Spock…right now please"

Jim whispered, moving his lips from Spock's mouth towards his beautiful pointed ear.

Spock shivered as Jim's plump lips grazed the shell of his ear. He couldn't force his dry mouth to form words, so he just nodded slightly, before turning his attention to Jim's grey boxer shorts.

He fingered the waist band, looking into Jim's azure eyes to make sure it was ok with him; he watched Jim's lips mouth the word yes over and over.

He gently peeled the fabric away from the aching cock, lifting Jim's thighs up slightly to remove the garment completely. Taking Spock's hand in his, Jim moved it towards his parted pink lips. He took two fingers into his mouth and lapped at them with his tongue, causing Spock to shudder and his eyelids to flutter and close.

"Fuck me…do it now Spock."

Jim instructed, moving the hand away from his lips and placing it at his puckered entrance. Jim blushed but smiled encouragingly at Spock, whose eyes were wide with worried anticipation.

Spock pressed a finger inside Jim, hearing the human wince in pain at the contact. With no other objections Spock pushed the finger in further, until he was second knuckle deep. Jim moved his legs further apart as Spock looked up into his pained face.

"More, more"

Jim pleaded, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. With that Spock pressed a second finger into Jim; this time he moaned, as Spock brushed his prostate lightly with a pale fingertip. The fingers then moved in and out of Jim's tight entrance, scissoring and fingering it gently, preparing him for what was about to happen. With every thrust Jim writhed and whimpered, feeling the pre-cum warm the head of his cock. Then the fingers were gone. Jim opened his eyes to see Spock removing the green boxer shorts and applying the purple condom from the nightstand.

Spock saw the worried look on Jim's face and moved to kneel between his splayed legs. He placed a warm hand on the human's flushed cheek and planted a kiss on the pink lips. Jim relaxed at this and smiled slightly, placing his hands on Spock's pale hips, drawing small circles against the skin with his thumbs.

"Do not fear Jim; I will go as slowly and gently as you wish."

Spock said soothingly, looking down at the human for confirmation and acceptance of his next move. Jim wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled up at the Vulcan again.

Spock levelled the head of his cock up with Jim's ass and applied pressure. A sharp intake of breath came from Jim as he pushed inside a little further. He looked into Jim's face and stroked a tanned cheekbone before completely sheathing himself inside of Jim. Tears were forming in the human's eyes again as Spock pulled out a tiny amount, gauging Jim's reaction; whether he should continue or just stay still and allow Jim to accommodate for a moment. Spock wiped a tear away with a warm thumb and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Move Spock…I can't take much more of this waiting!"

Jim said finally, having found his voice after the initial shock of penetration. He chuckled slightly.

"Indeed Jim, I will do as you ask"

Spock replied, shifting slightly, pushing back hard into Jim, who moaned in pleasure and pain, holding onto Spock's muscular bicep to steady himself.

Spock pounded in and out of Jim, his pace increasing more and more by the second. Each thrust was punctuated with a moan of Jim's name or a word, or even a sound if either boy couldn't configure the energy to speak a full word. As Spock drew closer to orgasm he looked up into Jim's face, he nodded knowingly, feeling the Vulcan's muscles tighten slightly inside him. Jim was also achingly close, he felt Spock's fingers wrap tightly around his cock and start to pump, Jim saw stars as the warm cum erupted from his head as the two sensations drove him over the edge. Spock came also as Jim's cum dribbled over his fingertips, he thrust hard into Jim, feeling the boy tense around him.

Both the boys were panting heavily as Spock pulled out of Jim and removed the condom, disposing of it quickly before moving back towards Jim, who was already in the small single bed with the covers draped over him. Jim was lying on his side, watching Spock with pleasure-filled eyes and smiling like a Cheshire cat. Spock found his boxers and pulled them on, before sitting cross legged on the bed in front of Jim. The human reached around the edge of the bed and found his long-ago discarded boxer shorts, after pulling them on he sat up also.

"Wow Spock, that was, truly, the best sex I have ever had…like, in my whole life! Just amazing, thank you for being so gentle with me…it was so…refreshing for it not to be forceful and impersonal for once"

Jim said, smiling at Spock and stroking circles on a pale thigh.

Spock raised an eyebrow at Jim's statement, yet found he could not keep the smile from his lips.

"I too agree that it was a very enjoyable. I am glad that you trusted me enough to allow me to have control of the situation. It was a most pleasurable experience. Thank _you_ Jim."

Spock answered, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on Jim's lips.

"I think we should get some sleep now huh? It's been a long day. It was amazing fun, but very tiring. I really enjoyed spending time with you…normally it's not like this for me…I just jump in head first and don't care about the other person…flirt. Fuck. And then don't think about them again, by morning they're long gone. But with you…it's …its just different. I really like you Spock."

Jim said, blushing at his promiscuousness.

He felt like such a whore sometimes. Especially when he met someone who actually mattered and he had to explain it. At the time when he was fucking the random person he had picked up it all made sense. But when explained aloud it sounded like vicious apathy and shallow selfishness. He waited for the judgement to come from the Vulcan's lips; for him to call him a cheap whore and walk out. To run away like all the others did.

But Spock said nothing. He merely kissed Jim again, sliding his tongue between Jim's swollen lips.

"I too feel a connection between us that I do not often have for others; I believe you are as much of a welcome difference to me as I appear to be to you. You are a wonderful person and I have enjoyed spending these moments with you Jim."

Spock said, threading his fingers in Jim's dirty blonde hair and pulling him into a brief hug.

Jim smiled into Spock's shoulder before moving to lie on his side. Spock did the same, his back was facing Jim and he laid his head on the pillow and closed his eyes, as he heard Jim's breathing become slower and steadier. He supposed that the human was already asleep, so was surprised when a cool arm wrapped itself around his abdomen and pulled Spock flush against the tanned chest. He felt Jim smile into his shoulder and the Vulcan's lips were also formed into a smile as he felt shallow puffs of breath flutter across his collar bone.

"G'night Spock"

Jim uttered, placing a soft kiss on the Vulcan's shoulder before succumbing to sleep.

"Goodnight Jim kirk."

Spock answered, stroking the fingertips that encased his warm chest. He too closed his eyes, failing again, for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, to keep the smile from his lips.

**So that's chapter 2 done and dusted.**

**I said Winona would be in this chapter a bit more…which technically she was (although she was asleep) she will definitely be in the next one properly I promise…I plan to add a semi-awkward conversation between her and Jim in the morning after …ooh a little teaser for you there **

**So they had sex…obviously…what could possibly happen in the next chapter?…well you will have to wait and see…OH THE FRICKING TENSION **

**There should be a little bit more Amanda in the next chapter…and some chickens may or may not feature**

**Hopefully this is a suitable second chapter and I will post the next one as soon as I write it.**

**Also I realised just before I finished editing this that I didn't mention what happened to the hat whilst things were getting steamy with the goys….so I had to ad a sentence about it being removed as to avoid confusion.**

**Sorry that the chapters are so long everyone…once I start writing I just get on a roll and can't stop…I will try to make the next chapter shorter **

**Love x **


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 –**

**Jim jumps to the wrong conclusion…insecurity abound so a bit of angst at times**

**Amanda and Thomas make an appearance**

**Cute!Spock is cute **

**Swearing in this chapter so be ready for that…also some nakedness.**

-Jim awoke, reaching out to hug Spock. But the place in the bed where Spock's body should've been was empty. The human opened his eyes and sat up, watching with a frown on his face as Spock rushed around the room collecting his clothes and replacing them hastily.

'Of course' Jim thought to himself.

"Jim, you are awake."

Spock said, finally looking up from his actions. He was fully dressed and Jim was staring intently at him.

"Yeah, I am. Why are you up and dressed already?"

The human asked groggily, yawning and stretching. Jim hoped that he was mistaken. He didn't want Spock to run away from him. To stumble out of the house and never return like all his other bed partners. He awaited the horrible lie from the Vulcan; the excuse that would cover the shame and regret he felt at having slept with Jim.

As much as Jim was used to the lies and hurried responses, they still hurt him. Most of the time his exes would disappear during the night after the sex had occurred and Jim was asleep, leaving him to wake up alone and realise what had happened. At least Spock had stayed until morning to ditch him.

"Jim, I am awake because I must leave you, I apologise. I have some business to attend to at my uncle's house."

Spock answered, pulling his boots on before sitting on the edge of Jim's bed.

There it was; the 'previous engagement' excuse. "I have other stuff to do, sorry babe" it was the most typical lie his exes gave, before running full pelt out of the house and as far away as possible. Not without the horrific kiss to the forehead. Jim was so used to it by now, only 17 and already broken by love. He was truly fucked up.

He didn't think Spock would say it though. He thought that maybe after everything that was said last night he would stay. Or at least think of a better excuse than that.

"Oh right, yeah, no of course…I get it Spock, you don't have to sugar coat it."

Jim answered, not looking at Spock. Spock turned to him and frowned.

"I do not understand; why are you upset with me?"

Spock asked, sensing the bitter cynicism that laced Jim's words.

"If you wanna leave, just go Spock…I know that you regret what happened last night…it's fine; it's not like I'm not used to rejection. If you didn't want to do it why didn't you just say so? I thought you might actually be different though, that's the fucking crappy thing about it. I'm such an idiot sometimes!"

Jim said, not realising he had stood up.

He wasn't shouting but his throat hurt from speaking. He could feel his eyes burning with tears and he was staring at the Vulcan who was still sitting on the bed, looking utterly perplexed by what he was saying.

Spock stood up, moving to place his arms around Jim's neck. He kissed the human forcefully on the mouth, licking at the full bottom lip. Jim was clearly confused; where Spock's eyes were closed Jim's were wide with shock. What kind of reaction was this? Jim had just been almost-shouting and accusing Spock and the Vulcan saw fit to kiss him?

They broke apart, Jim still thoroughly confused by what had happened.

"What the fuck?"

Jim managed, regaining control of his brain.

"Jim, I do not regret what happened between us, not to any extent. You misconstrued my wanting to leave you. I desired to visit my mother to tell her that I would like to spend the day with you, if you would allow it. I enjoy spending time in your presence and wish to spend as much time as I can with you. I only want to leave quickly so I can return just as promptly. I apologise for not clarifying this earlier."

Spock said, to which Jim's anger faded away and was replaced by warmth in his chest he could not rid himself of if he tried.

"Oh my God! Really? You aren't gonna run away then? I'm sorry spock I just thought- coz everyone who comes back here always wants to leave and I…I… I dunno what to say…I can't believe you wanna spend the day with me…of course you can stay here as long as you want…wow! This is a total first for me…oh Spock!"

Jim answered, grinning widely and staring into Spock's chocolate eyes. Before Spock could reply Jim collided with him in a tight hug; his cool cheek against Spock's warm one. Jim pulled back slightly and entwined his hands with Spock's causing him to shiver in pleasure. Before the shiver could even leave his body however, the human's pink lips were upon his again, their tongues battling together and the plump lips suckling on his thinner ones.

This was the moment that Winona Kirk decided to come into the room.

The boys heard the door open behind them and froze. Jim could smell his mother's sweet, flowery perfume and broke apart from Spock, blushing slightly.

"Sorry boys, I didn't realise you were- uh well yeah that… sorry Jimmy"

She said, as both Jim and Spock turned to face her. She looked refreshed and happy, wearing a pink apron on top of one of her floral dresses. Jim couldn't help but smile at her.

"Hi mum, uh…this is Spock; I met him at the rink last night."

Jim said, wrapping an arm around Spock's waist and resting it on his hip. Spock's lips turned upwards at the contact. Winona looked him up and down, smiling brightly. She did not seem to be making any judgements about him, which was good.

"Good morning Mrs. Kirk, I apologise if I am intruding in your home."

Spock said, nodding his head slightly in greeting. Jim smiled at this formal introduction. Spock was apparently good with people's parents.

"No, don't worry about it Spock. I take it Jimmy gave you a bed for the night? It's nice to meet one of the people my sons bring home. Most of the people have left by the time I'm awake."

Winona said, patting Spock lightly on the upper arm, smiling again. Spock looked sideways at Jim, who was blushing and looking at his mother incredulously.

"Do you want some breakfast boys? I was just about to make pancakes for Sam, he just got in, covered in love bites and looking a little bit ruffled; courtesy of some girl called Jane or Janet or Julie, or was it Julia?…you know the one Jimmy, don't you; the redhead that's here sometimes…damn it! What is her name?"

Winona carried on, frowning as she tried to remember the girl's name. Jim placed his hand over his own love bites, not wanting his mother to go into a tirade about them. He also knew that would make Spock uncomfortable too. Best to avoid it if possible.

"Her name's Jules mum. Thanks, but Spock and I were just about to head out actually. Keep us some pancakes though coz we will be back soon."

Jim replied, smiling at his mother. He moved around the room collecting his jeans from the floor and getting a new t-shirt to wear from his chest of drawers.

"Jules! That was it. Oh right ok, yeah I'll keep them warm for you both, nice to meet you Spock."

Winona said, grinning at the boys before turning and leaving the room, closing the door behind her.

Jim removed his boxers and threw them into the laundry basket. Walking to the drawers again he selected a new pair. Then he remembered that Spock was still in the room. He looked towards the Vulcan, who was blatantly staring at his nakedness, a slight smile tracing his lips.

"Like what you see huh?"

Jim chuckled, shaking Spock from his thoughts.

"Indeed Jim; you are most aesthetically pleasing. I could not fully appreciate it last night as it was somewhat rushed and feverish."

Spock answered, blushing apple green. Jim watched as the Vulcan's fingers were twitching at his sides. The human moved so he was standing directly in front of Spock, smiling up at him as he stroked the fluffy material of the jumper with his fingertips. Spock's eyes seemed to glaze over as he kept his eyes locked on Jim's tanned skin.

"You're pretty hot too you know Spock…but I don't get to look at you naked so I don't think this is very fair."

Jim spoke quietly. Spock blushed again and reached out, stroking Jim's shoulder his warm fingers tracing over the dark love bites that resided there, reminders of what had happened last night.

With that, Jim stroked an ivory cheekbone, planted a chaste kiss on Spock's lips and pulled the new boxers on.

Within minutes he was dressed and ready to go, Spock standing watching him as he pulled the jeans on and tied his old trainers. Jim walked up to the vulcan and clicked his fingers in front of his face, apparently watching Jim dress (which could either be seen as unnerving or cute, Jim thought it was a bit of both) had put Spock into a trance.

"Let's go then shall we? Spock? Hellooo? Anyone in there?"

Jim asked, tapping Spock's pale forehead with a finger and laughing.

"I apologise Jim, it seems you have the power to distract my thoughts more than any other. Indeed, we should go"

Spock responded after a second, to which Jim gestured the door of his room.

They walked into the kitchen with their hands entwined, at which Winona smiled knowingly. Sam was sitting at the table with a plate of pancakes in front of him.

"Hey, bro…I see last night went well for ya then! Spock isn't it? Have fun with our Jimmy did ya? Clearly you did, as you managed to hang around for longer than five seconds after the sunrise!"

Sam said, smiling suggestively at the two boys and raising his eyebrows.

Jim looked at his brother through narrowed eyes. Both Sam and Winona knew about Jim's sleeping (well not technically sleeping, more sexual) habits. Much to his embarrassment; they never failed to bring it up.

Spock blushed lightly; Jim just looked at him apologetically. Jim was about to answer his brother when Spock started to talk.

"I did have 'fun' with Jim last night, yes. I cannot see how his past partners have managed to leave such a beautiful being in the morning; I could not possibly imagine doing such a thing. It was nice to see you again Sam, but Jim an I have somewhere to be, goodbye"

Spock commented, before wrapping an arm around Jim's waist and moving towards the door. Jim looked back over his shoulder to see Sam looking utterly shocked that Spock had actually answered him. This made Jim chuckle and hug Spock closer.

"That was awesome Spock! Thanks for calling me beautiful by the way. My brother totally didn't expect you to answer though…he was just teasing us you know…it's what he does."

Jim said once they were walking towards the red wooden gate.

"I assumed he was teasing you so I thought that I should stand up for you Jim, I was not about to lie by saying I didn't enjoy our…activities last night. You _are_ beautiful; I do not understand how others do not appreciate it."

Spock replied, turning to cup Jim's face with his long fingers, before plunging his tongue into the human's mouth.

Panting, Jim smiled as Spock broke apart from him. The Vulcan took hold of his tanned hand and they resumed walking along the streets.

It was still early, barely even 9:00, so the sun was still low in the sky. There were thick clouds scattering the sky and a cool wind blowing through the trees. Jim shivered, regretting not grabbing a jacket before making his way out. Spock noticed this and looked sideways at the human, his lips twitching upwards slightly. Spock let go of Jim's hand and removed his dark jacket which he thrust in Jim's direction.

"Thanks Spock, I was trying to warm you up last night and now you get to return the favour."

Jim said, slipping his arms into the jacket and zipping it up to his neck.

"Yes Jim, I however do not have a fluffy hat or a scarf or a blanket that I can give you…will my jacket suffice?"

Spock replied, taking hold of Jim's cool hand and intertwining their fingers again. Jim smiled up at Spock, revelling in the warmth of the jacket.

"Yeah it's perfect Spock…and it smells of you; which makes it even better!"

Jim answered, leaning in and kissing Spock on the cheek.

"So it was 27 Finch Avenue, right?"

Jim asked after a few minutes walking in silence.

"Yes that is my uncle's address, which direction is it in?"

Spock said, looking left and right as the road split into a cross-roads.

On the other side of the road three young boys walked past, turning to frown at Spock's pale skin and pointed ears. Jim heard them mutter and laugh, to which he frowned and they walked on faster.

"It's this way, come on Spock."

Jim replied, looking down each of the roads and thinking for a moment. He took hold of Spock's hand and pulled him with him.

"Jimmy boy!"

A man called from a garden a few houses away. Spock and Jim turned towards the source of the voice. Jim recognised that it was his old school teacher Mr. Rattenberry.

"Hey there, sir"

Jim replied, waving at the old man happily. Spock was watching the exchange with interest, his eyebrow raised.

"Who's your friend there, boy?"

The old man asked, pointing his rake in spock's direction. Jim focused his attention on spock for a moment, pulling him into his side and stroking down the Vulcan's ribs. He revelled in the shiver it earned him.

"This is Spock, he's my…uh…friend"

Jim responded, winking at Spock before waving goodbye to his teacher.

"he was my English teacher at school, nice guy actually"

Jim explained, in answer to spock's confused look.

"that explains why you addressed him as 'sir'"

Spock replied, nodding his head in understanding.

"Your confused face is so cute Spock, did you know that?"

Jim said, looking sideways up at the Vulcan, fondness flowing in his eyes.

"I have not been told that before Jim, although I appreciate the compliment."

Spock answered. Jim then proceeded to push him into an alley and lean him against the wall. Spock raised an eyebrow down at the blonde. Within seconds Spock was being pressed into the wall as Jim leaned his body in and kissed him hard on the mouth, his cool fingers raking over the back of Spock's head and curling and uncurling against the woolly jumper at Spock's side.

They broke apart, Jim smiling up at spock and chuckling lightly.

"Sorry about that, I just felt the urge to kiss the confused look off your face."

Jim said, before turning and walking out of the alley leaving Spock standing there a little perplexed.

"Keep up, babe!"

Jim called back a few moments later, after realising that Spock was _still_ in the alley leaning against the wall. He stood with his arms crossed waiting for Spock to catch up to him. The Vulcan dragged himself from his place and walked slowly towards Jim.

"I apologise Jim, your kisses seem to have a captivating force over my senses, as illogical as it may sound my brain seems to short circuit each time we engage in this action."

Spock said once he had finally reached Jim. He blushed green and looked down at the ground.

Jim chuckled and lifted Spock's chin with his forefinger. He planted a light kiss on the Vulcan lips.

"Only a little kiss this time…don't want your brain short-circuited when you have to talk to your mum now do we?"

With that the boys continued walking down the street. Within a few minutes they had reached Finch Avenue. Jim stared at the perfectly preened gardens and cute little matching gates on all of the houses. He smiled at Mrs. McCloughsky, who was waving at him from her upstairs window. She was friends with Winona and Jim and Sam often helped her with her gardening. Spock was looking around the street, noticing now things that he recognised; the red post box a few houses away, the ginger cat that often resided on the pavements. Jim wrapped an arm around spock's waist, smiling as the Vulcan's eyes flitted about the street, before finally settling on Jim again.

As they approached number 27 Jim heard a female voice humming a song he vaguely recognised. Spock had heard it too and walked through the gate. Amanda was walking around the garden holding a teacup gently in her hands. It was her that had been humming. She didn't notice the boys at first so was startled to see her son standing on the path.

"Spock, it is a surprise to see you my son."

She commented, placing the tea down on the wooden table and enveloping Spock in a fluid movement. Jim stood at the gate, watching the family scene with affection.

"Mother, I am here to inform you that I was safe spending the night with Jim. And to ask an enquiry of you."

Spock answered, after Amanda had released him from her loving embrace. At the mention of Jim's name she turned to the gate and saw him hovering there. He smiled weakly at her, hoping she wasn't about to gut him for sleeping with her much-loved son. She merely smiled at him and held the gate open for him.

"Ah yes Jim, we met briefly at the skating rink last night. So you gave my Spock a bed for the night huh? Well he seems to have enjoyed himself…I guess I have you to thank for that."

Amanda said, watching as Jim walked into the garden and exchanged a look with Spock who was blushing lightly.

"Uh yeah I guess so."

Jim answered, smiling at her. She patted him on the arm before smiling too. Jim let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"Where are my manners? Why don't you two come in for some tea and we can have a little chat and catch up eh?"

Amanda suddenly asked, gesturing to the open front door. spock looked at Jim for a moment before nodding and walking into the house, Jim following behind him warily.

Amanda couldn't possibly know that Jim and spock had slept together. Yet he was still worried that she might suddenly corner him and attack him about it. He knew that she loved Spock very much…and if she found out…or had worked out that they hadn't been 'practicing skating techniques' last night. Jim had been fucked by her precious Spock…and perhaps his mum knowing that scared Jim a little more than it should.

"Mother, I would like to change my clothes as I am wearing the same as I was yesterday and am in need of a shower and fresh clothes."

Spock said once Jim and Amanda had settled themselves in the living room.

"Of course spock, I understand. Go and change and I will prepare the tea for you."

Amanda said, stroking Spock's cheek and nodding at him. He disappeared from the room; Jim heard his footsteps on the stairs moments later. Thomas walked into the room from what Jim supposed was his study. He looked shocked to see the blonde sitting in his front room. He exchanged a look with Amanda who smiled, looked at the ceiling and back to her brother.

"This is Jim; do you remember him from the rink last night Tom? He was helping Spock to skate? He and Spock paid us a visit this morning. Wasn't that mighty nice of them?"

Amanda explained, although Thomas seemed to have made the logical connection already.

"Yeah, o'course I remember 'manda. Yeah that was nice of them; Spock's upstairs I 'spose?"

Thomas replied, nodding at Jim in greeting.

"Yes, I was just about to make some tea; do you want a cup Tom? Jim if you would help me in the kitchen please?"

Amanda responded, looking from her brother to Jim, a forceful look in her eyes. This caused Jim to worry. She knew. Apparently he could be read like a book.

"Yeah please love; you know how I take it."

Thomas said, sitting down in a squishy armchair and smiling at his sister. Amanda left the room with Jim following behind her, hands shaking slightly. They walked into the kitchen and stood in silence for a few moments. The elegant woman busied herself with teabags and milk and the kettle.

Jim was waiting for the outcry, for the angry parent speech. He was used to parents hating him. Not his own of course…but those of people he had a bad influence on, or he'd slept with and not called back.

Amanda advanced towards him, her usually warm eyes turning serious. Jim backed into the cupboard behind him, worried at what she might do to him. His eyes scoured the kitchen for any knives or sharp implements he could be impaled with, or that could sever certain parts of his anatomy. He thankfully couldn't see any such object in the vicinity.

"Look, I know what happened between you and my son last night. It's glaringly obvious, however much you thought you could keep it secret; the way you're walking all awkward, the looks you exchange with him. I'm not stupid Jim. I just hope that it wasn't a one night thing, because my Spock deserves better than that. If you so much as _think_ about hurting him you can't even imagine the things I will do to you. He's naïve and I don't want you messing with his emotions. You got it, pretty boy?"

Amanda said, looking into his face and not looking away until she was done.

"Yeah…yes…yeah I got it ma'am. We weren't tryin' to keep it a secret honest. He means a lot to me; it wasn't a one night thing. I wouldn't wanna hurt him; I couldn't hurt him if I tried. Seriously, I really like him. He's lucky to have a mum like you to stand up for him."

Jim answered, clearing his throat. Her expression softened again, her eyes becoming warm and letting herself smile.

"Yeah well, I'm his mum, and his dad isn't exactly the most emotional of people so I need to look after him. I didn't mean to frighten you Jim, I just needed to make sure you weren't gonna ditch him. Although you escorted him here so I don't think you were gonna cut and run anyway. How do you take your tea, my darling? Milk? Sugar?"

She clarified, pouring the boiling water into four pale coloured mugs.

"Uh…milk with one sugar please."

Jim answered, as Spock walked into the kitchen wearing a tight black t-shirt, a mid-thigh length dark purple tunic and grey leggings. His hair was slightly fluffy and his skin was pale green from the shower. Amanda smiled at him as he walked to stand beside Jim. The blonde wrapped an arm around his shoulders, squeezing lightly as Spock nestled himself against Jim's side. Spock seemed to remember then that his mother was in the room, and blushed dark green, fiddling with the cuff of the tunic he was wearing. Amanda just smiled at the boys and moved out of the kitchen in tote living room, carrying the tray with the four mugs on it.

**Ok so that's another chapter done**

**Insecure! Jim is quite endearing dontcha think? …and Spock is there to refute his worries **

**Uh so there's some Winona stuff which I promised. I know in the film Jim's family life was portrayed as a bit broken/abusive/generally not good but I wanted Jim to have a happy family with Winona and Sam. **

**This chapter was so hella long…so sorry guys. I will try to make the next one less long…it's just there's so much dialogue it requires lots of spacing out…which means it being very long. **

**Hopefully not too crappy. Mainly spock/kirk fluffy stuff, little bit of angst little bit of development of story**

**Protective!Amanda needed to be added as well. She isn't stupid she could work out what had happened…practicing skating techniques? Pssh come on Spock! Not even Sarek would believe that. Euphemism much? Lol **

**Next chapter up soon I promise…exams are officially over as of today so I can focus on it fully from now on. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

**MELODIE4894 – thanks so much for all your help with the storyline of this chapter **** without you it would be kinda crappy so thanks and much love x **

**This chapter is a mixture of angst and fluff and drama.**

**There is swearing…but it's rated M so you shouldn't be surprised really. And it's Jim kirk; he just IS sweary so deal with it.**

**Hope this is ok **

The two boys followed Amanda into the living room, whilst Spock wondered to himself about what had caused Jim to have the worried look on his face.

Amanda and Thomas shared a knowing look as she and the boys seated themselves on the sofa in the living room. He raised his eyebrows at his sister and smiled at Spock, who was stroking a blonde tendril away from Jim's forehead as his lips twitched upwards.

The silence that filled the room as the four of them drank was a rather awkward one. Everyone knew what had occurred between Spock and Jim the night before, and it seemed to hang over them as they sipped at the teacups.

"Mother, I would like to ask you whether you would permit me to spend the rest of the day in Jim's company."

Spock said into the heavy silence. Jim looked at him and smiled. He really hoped that Amanda would say yes.

"Of course you can baby; just don't get home too late and don't get up to anything dangerous."

Amanda replied, patting Spock's knee lightly. She pointedly looked at Jim, who nodded minutely to reassure her.

"Nothing dangerous I promise; we will just be messing about at the farmhouse…uh…and by messing about I don't mean anything sexual…not that you might've thought…but I just wanted make it clear that…just, you know feeding the horses and chickens and hanging out with my mum and my brother…perfectly innocent honestly."

Jim blurted out, turning a deep shade of red and face-palming as Spock turned to him with a beautiful eyebrow raised.

Amanda and Thomas were both laughing quietly as Jim clamped his mouth shut and resigned himself to embarrassment.

"Don't worry kiddo, I trust that you will look after my boy; you've done a pretty good job of it so far. I haven't seen him this happy in weeks. You boys have fun today ok?"

Amanda replied, still smiling as she took Jim and Spock's empty teacups and herded them out into the garden.

"Thank you, Mother. I appreciate the trust you are giving me and Jim. He is a close friend of mine and I am thankful that you approve of me spending time with him."

Spock said, as his mother pulled him into a gentle hug. She smiled and waved as the two boys made their way down the path and back onto the street.

"See you later Spock."

Amanda called from the front door. Her brother had now joined her and was also waving jovially at them.

The human and the Vulcan walked quickly back to Jim's house, occasionally talking but mainly in a pleasant silence. Jim's worry seemed to have subsided, as he was now relaxed and smiling widely. Spock never did find out the reason he had been so tense, but it didn't matter now anyway. The warning Amanda had given Jim still rang out in his head:

"_If you so much as__** think**__ about hurting him you can't even imagine the things I will do to you"._

With this thought in his mind he entangled his fingers with Spock's and pulled him into his side. Spock raised an eyebrow, but settled into the embrace by wrapping an arm around Jim's back and resting it on his hipbone. He couldn't even contemplate hurting the beautiful Vulcan; and therefore his need to worry about how Amanda would butcher him if he did floated out of his mind. Everything was going to be ok.

When Spock and Jim arrived back at the farmhouse they could hear Sam shouting happily from the back yard.

"Come on Spock; let's go see what the hell my idiot brother is doing."

Jim said, turning to go through the red gate and smiling at his Vulcan companion.

Jim waved at his mum through the kitchen window as he and Spock walked around the side of the house.

Spock was surprised by the sight that met his dark eyes. There was a wooden shed with a tiny doorway at the bottom, to one side of the large back garden and scattered about the yard were a dozen red and brown fat-looking birds. The rest of the yard was taken up with a large wooden stable. Spock could see that there were two animals inside of the wooden building, and one that was currently being ridden around the garden by Jim's older brother Sam.

The animals were large and majestic, with strong leg muscles, tan and auburn coloured fur and dark manes that ran down the back of their muscular necks. They had long narrow faces with wide nostrils and large teeth. Their dark eyes were beady and glistening, sitting either side of their angular skulls. Spock recognised them as horses; he had heard his mother describe them to him once; she told him all about how when she was a child she used to ride horses on the weekends.

Spock was shaken out of his shocked reverie when a cool hand slipped into one of his warm ones. He looked around to see Jim standing next to him, head cocked to one side with a large grin spread over his tanned features.

"Uh…this is the Kirk farm I guess…do you like it Spock?"

Jim announced, gesturing widely with his free hand and looking nervously at Spock. The insecurity was clearly flaring up in Jim again. Spock knew he had to rectify it.

"It is most fascinating Jim."

Spock replied, intertwining his fingers with the human's and allowing his lips to twitch upwards.

Jim chuckled lightly and turned to kiss Spock full on the mouth. The Vulcan responded easily and quickly, stroking warm fingers up and down Jim's tattered t-shirt. Jim broke the kiss and looked around to see where his brother was, he heard the horse's hooves clacking on the gravel behind the stable and turned back to Spock with his eyebrows raised. Before Jim could make any sort of move Spock was pushing him against the stable door and kissing him hard, his tongue exploring every inch of the human's mouth.

Spock placed his hands firmly on Jim's hips and moved one of his legs between the jeaned legs. He pushed them apart with more force than he intended, this caused the stable door to fall open; both boys fell with it. Jim and Spock lay in a heap on the hay-covered stable floor. The horses didn't seem to have noticed the interruption so carried nuzzling their mouths at the hay and whinnying happily.

Jim took the moment of silence and realisation on Spock's part to take control of the action. He flipped them over so that he was straddling a blushing Spock, their narrow hips grinding together pleasantly.

"What the fuck is going on here, Jimmy?"

Sam said from the doorway of the stable. He was chuckling down at his brother, as he un-straddled the palomino horse and stood with his hands on his hips. Spock blushed dark green and attempted to move beneath the writhing human who was still sitting atop him, smirking as his blue eyes flashed with mirth.

"Hey bro, you remember Spock right? I was just showing him around the farm."

Jim answered, finally getting up off of Spock's lap and reaching a hand down towards the Vulcan.

"Yeah I remember him, he's the one from the skating rink right?"

Sam asked, raising a caramel eyebrow at his brother, the wide grin still present on his face. Jim nodded, a permanent flush now on his cheeks. He hugged Spock into his side and smiled up at him. Spock blushed also, but returned the smile.

"Looks to me like the only 'showing around' you've been doing is of the stable floor there Jimmy."

Sam retorted, slapping his brother on the arm playfully. Jim just blushed darker as Spock looked vehemently at the floor.

"Uh…yeah…anyway have you fed the horses and the chickens yet?"

Jim asked, watching as his brother absentmindedly stroked the horse's auburn neck with his fingertips.

"Well, no I haven't fed them because mum said that it was your turn this week _Jim_…and now you've got a second pair of hands you will get it done twice as quickly."

Sam said, putting on his best 'talking like a kid' voice.

"Ok then, we'll feed them, but you said you were gonna brush the horses and sweep out the coop if I didn't tell mum that you slept with Jack Rawlings…remember?"

Jim replied, raising an eyebrow and smirking evilly.

"Jim! Ssh! Mum is just inside. Yeah 'course I remember. You get to work feeding the horses and I will sweep the coop; just keep your little mouth shut about me sleeping with You Know Who ok?"

Sam whispered, looking over his shoulder at the house, listening to Winona singing quietly, making sure she hadn't heard what he and Jim were talking about.

Sam picked up the brush from the place where it was leaning against the back door, and walked away from the boys towards the chicken coop, muttering about 'stupid big mouth brothers'

"Is Jack Rawlings a male human?"

Spock asked, as Jim handed him a bucket of yellow coloured grain and walked into the kitchen. He returned moments later holding up two aprons. Spock raised an eyebrow at Jim, who rushed towards him and looped the apron over his head, brushing a pointed ear slightly with a fingertip as he did so.

"Yeah, he _is_ a guy. He's my Mum's best friend's son; hence why Mum can't know about it. His family are all Roman Catholic, suffice to say he doesn't follow the teachings about not being homosexual that well. Thanks to my big brother. Total bargaining tool though; whenever I want Sam to do something for me I just mention Catholic Jack and I can get him to do anything."

Jim said, tying his own apron up in a bow before moving towards Spock, who seemed to be having trouble with his garment.

Jim took pity on the Vulcan; he wrapped his arms around Spock's back and tied the apron for him. Apparently vulcans are immensely intelligent and logical and scientific yet cannot manage tying up some apron strings. Spock blushed as Jim came closer and closer to his face. He planted a delicate kiss on Spock's lips before nodding and turning towards the grass where the chickens were pecking at the ground hungrily.

"We do not have animals such as these on my home planet."

Spock said, looking curiously down at the chickens. Jim reached into the bucket Spock was still holding and pulled out a handful of grain. He threw the grain onto the grass, smiling when the chickens started pecking furiously.

"Why don't you have a go at feeding them, Spock? I know it's not exactly fun but-"

"No Jim, it is a most enjoyable activity. The animals on Vulcan are not tame or to be kept as pets, therefore the act of feeding your pets is most fascinating to me."

Spock answered, plunging his fingers into the grain and throwing it onto the grass as Jim had done. Jim smiled at him before resuming feeding the chickens.

"Ok, it's the horses next, I'll just go and get the hay and grass; I'll be back in a second."

Jim said, after most of the grain had been distributed. He pecked Spock on the lips and walked away in the direction of the chicken coop. Spock touched his fingers to the place where Jim had kissed him, his lips quirked upwards as he remembered the feeling of the boy's cool mouth upon his. Spock turned to see Jim returning to him, carrying a large hay bale with a bucket balanced on top of it. The Vulcan rushed forwards to relieve Jim of the weight he was carrying.

Spock and Jim dumped the bucket and the hay down in the stable. They could hear Sam singing loudly from the chicken coop as Jim walked towards the horses. Spock did not know how to react to the large powerful animals. He backed himself into the stable wall and stared at Jim as he moved around the horses, stroking them with his tanned hands and whispering quiet words. The horses moved towards him, smelling the hay and grass that the boys had brought.

"Hey babe, don't be scared of them; they won't hurt you. Grab some of the hay and come stand by me. I'll help you feed them, alright?"

Jim said, gesturing to the hay bale and then beckoning Spock with a finger. Spock looked into Jim's warm blue eyes and decided to trust him, as he had done at the roller rink all those hours ago.

Jim watched as Spock moved away from the edge of the stable and came to stand next to him. The human wrapped his arm around Spock's shoulders as he could feel him trembling and hear his hitched breath.

"Just hold out the food for them and they will take it from your hand, nothing to worry about."

Jim whispered, as Spock started to relax a little bit. One of the horses saw the hay in the Vulcan's hand and began to eat it, its lips smacking at the warm hand.

"See? It's not that bad; no danger at all."

Spock felt Jim's whisper against his ear, and a cool hand resting on his hip. Spock turned his head and leaned backwards into the human's body. Jim ran his hand down Spock's arm and entwined their fingers together, resting his chin on the Vulcan's shoulder and sighing happily.

Spock lifted his free hand and stroked the horse's neck. At first it was fine, but then the animal jerked backwards, stamping its hooves into the dusty ground. Jim pulled Spock backwards away from the horse.

"Oh fuck! This isn't good."

Jim said slipping out of the hug and looking into Spock's worried face.

"I apologise Jim, I did not mean to frighten your horse. I think it was the high temperature of my skin that startled it."

Spock responded, his hands were trembling as the horse reared up onto its hind legs, whinnying loudly.

"No babe, don't worry about it, just try to keep out of its way while it's going crazy. I don't want you to get hurt."

Jim called out over the sound of the horse; he had moved to stand to the side of the horse, trying to calm it down. He wasn't having much luck however.

Sam appeared from the chicken coop moments later, a fearsome look on his face.

"What the hell? What spooked her Jimmy?"

Sam shouted worriedly, moving to help Jim try to calm the horse. The other horses were shuffling in what appeared to be fear.

"I dunno, she just started backing away and then she was rearing up and stuff."

Jim said, watching as Spock was backing further and further away from the stable. He noticed that Spock was just about to collide with a trough of very cold water.

"Spock, stop walking backwards, no don't walk anymore you're gonna-

Before Jim could finish his sentence he saw Spock topple backwards into the trough. There was a loud splash and clang as the Vulcan disappeared under the water.

Jim ran forwards and grabbed Spock's hands, pulling him upright and out of the water. He was completely drenched from the knees upwards, drips of water trickling down his head and face and falling onto the dusty floor.

"Oh Spock; you poor thing! I'll go and get you some towels."

Winona said, emerging from the kitchen with an anxious look on her face.

Jim wrapped his arms around the shivering, drenched Vulcan and hugged him tightly; he didn't care if he got soaking wet in the process.

"Spock, are you alright? I didn't realise how close to the water you were. Aw you're absolutely freezing. I'll just see if the horse is ok and then I'll be right back ok?"

Jim said into Spock's wet shoulder. Spock nodded minutely, his teeth chattering with cold

"Y-yes j-Jim, I'm f-f-fine."

Spock managed to say, suppressing a shiver. Jim ran a finger over Spock's wet cheekbone, before he pushed the soaking hair out of the Vulcan's eyes, pecked him on the lips and strode in the direction of his brother.

"Is she alright now, Sam?"

Jim asked, watching the horse shuffling, the wild look still in her eyes.

His brother patted him on the shoulder and smiled.

"Yeah she's fine now, I dunno what came over her though; she's never done that before…maybe she was disgusted by you being all lovey-dovey with Spock? Only kidding buddy. Now go inside and get him warm before he freezes over."

Sam chuckled, ruffling his brother's hair and glancing beyond him towards Spock, who was leaning against the wall of the house, shivering violently.

"Thanks Sam, yeah I need to get him warmed up pretty sharpish don't I? Thanks for the help bro."

Jim replied, smiling sheepishly at his brother and turning back towards his Vulcan companion.

Winona appeared at the door of the house, carrying a large pile of blankets and towels. Jim ran up to her and took them, before vaulting back to Spock and wrapping about five of them hastily around him and over his head. Spock would have protested but he was too cold to care at that moment.

After he was lead inside the farmhouse by a worried and fussing Winona and a no less worried Jim, Spock found himself sitting in the living room in front of a log fire. The blankets and towels were still wrapped around him like a warm cocoon as Jim drew small circles on Spock's covered-up knee. Both boys were sitting cross legged on the carpet, with a cup of hot tea placed next to Spock for him to drink.

Winona left the room and walked into the kitchen, but not before persuading the boys to have some pancakes, as they had missed out on them at breakfast. She ruffled Jim's hair and kissed his forehead as she left the boys alone with their thoughts.

"Here, you should drink this. My mum makes the best cup of tea in the world. It'll warm you up in a second."

Jim handed Spock the dark purple mug and raised it to the Vulcan's lips. Spock wrapped both his hands around the mug, placing his warm fingers over Jim's cooler ones and smiling slightly. He tilted it and poured the hot strong liquid into his mouth. Jim was right; it was the best tea Spock had ever tasted.

"See? Isn't it amazing?"

Jim asked, slipping his hands out from under Spock's and grinning.

"Indeed it is, Jim. I feel infinitely warmer having consumed it. Thank you."

Spock replied, between gulping down more of the heated beverage. Jim was staring into the glowing fire, his hands in front of it to warm them. Spock watched the fire light dance in the human's blue eyes, turning them an amber colour in the semi-dark room. The boy's whole face was lit up and Spock could not fail to see how beautiful Jim was.

"Have you always lived in Iowa?"

Spock asked, breaking the pleasant silence that had settled between them. Jim looked away from the fireplace and back to Spock.

Jim nodded, before lying down on the battered carpet and sighing happily. Spock watched him make himself comfortable, lifting his knees up and removing his shoes, to reveal a pair of fluffy, stripy socks. Spock thought these items of clothing were nothing but adorable, but he didn't say as much; that would be illogical. Not that logic really manifested itself when he was around the enchanting human boy.

"Yeah; I'm an Iowa boy born and bred. Everything I know is here; Sam and mum and the cornfields and the roller-rink, and I dunno how I would react in a different place. That sounds stupid doesn't it? I'm babbling like a kid."

Jim replied, blushing slightly and looking sideways at Spock from his place on the floor. Spock lay down on his side; he rested his heavy, still-damp head on his hand and stared back at Jim.

"It does not sound stupid, Jim. I understand what you are conveying. Being on this planet is such a strange experience for me. Everything is different here; the landscape the earth beneath my feet, the people, the cultures, the sensibilities. I found it most overwhelming on my first visit."

Spock countered, stroking Jim's rounded ear with two fingertips. Jim suppressed a shiver at this action.

"Oh yeah? I guess that when it's compared to other places Earth is pretty mind-blowing."

Jim answered, turning and laying on his side so his body was mirroring Spock's.

"Affirmative. On Vulcan, life is set out differently to that of humans. A child is taught to fend for themselves from a young age. Marriages and careers are arranged by your parents. I have my entire life set out in front of me. I will attend the Vulcan Science Academy if I am accepted."

Spock said, a slight frown appearing on his pale forehead.

"And if you aren't accepted to this Academy place?"

Jim asked, raising his blonde eyebrows in curiosity. Spock's frown increased threefold at this question, a hurt look flashing across his chocolate eyes. Jim reached out and entwined his hand with Spock's.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to tell me Spock. I won't mind. I'm being too intrusive aren't I? Just tell me to bugger off if you don't wanna say."

He turned to look at Spock apologetically. If the Vulcan didn't wanna tell him then he was OK with that.

"I am not upset by the fact that you asked me the question. The reason I am upset is the answer to the enquiry. If I were not accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy then I would be driven into an arranged marriage with a Vulcan woman who I have never met and do not love."

Spock replied, staring into Jim's blue eyes and searching for a response. The shocked look on the human's face was the reaction he had been expecting.

"So you either go to school at this Academy or you get married? Isn't there an option where you can choose your own path? Like, can't you just rebel against it all and, oh I dunno, join Starfleet or something?"

Jim asked, trying to keep the incredulity from his voice. He felt a massive amount of sympathy for Spock; he apparently had a very limited life path to follow; marriage or academy.

"There is not really an option of rebellion Jim, although I believe that for some vulcans-" Spock failed to mention that he fit into that particular group "-would greatly appreciate the third, freer option of choosing your own destiny, rather than having it decided before you are even born."

Jim could sense the bitterness that was seeping into his companion's words. Spock didn't have to say that he was within the group of vulcans who were screaming out for rebellion and freedom; Jim already knew he was in it.

"I can't imagine anything that restrictive in my life. I feel awful for bemoaning how I've been used an abused by everyone I've ever been fucked by, when you've got serious shit like that trapping you all the time."

Jim looked into Spock's face, hoping he didn't judge him like everyone else did.

"Obviously, when I said everyone I've ever been fucked by, I was excluding you from that horrific selection of renegades, rebels, rockers, punks and pretty boys, oh and a couple of girls too. Just so you know that I don't think you've used and abused me."

Jim amended quickly, in response to a hurt look that he saw flicker and disappear in Spock's eyes.

He sat up, hugging his knees to his chest; fear engulfed him as memories of past sexual encounters swam in his head and settled miserably for him to replay like a projection of all his failed attempts at love, whereas they were blinded by rampant, angry and feral lust. He had always hoped that once, just once, one of them might actually love him. How fucking stupid of him. How naïve.

"So that is the reason for your unfounded insecurity? Your low self esteem stems from a string of failed sexual encounters? If you will permit me to ask, I wish to know who first caused you to feel this way."

Spock asked cautiously, voice quiet and guarded, as if he was worried he might cause Jim to start crying and never stop. This is how Jim felt when he remembered the first time. The very first time; he was so young, so stupid and immature.

"Yeah, if you were to research me, all you would find were scattered remnants of all my failed 'encounters'. The first one? The one that broke my virgin teenaged heart? Robbie Anderson."

Jim said, not looking anywhere but into Spock's caring, concerned face. The dark slanted eyebrows were drawn together and his pale lips were slightly parted. He had never told anyone about Robbie Anderson. No-one knew his secret; the tale of how his virginity was so roughly taken from him. And he was about to finally let go of the memory.

"I was 14 years old. He was staying at our house in my brother's room with a group of friends. He had been friends with Sam for years, so I knew him, I had seen him, spent time with him, talked to him. I had fallen head over fucking heels in love with him. Stupid little Jimmy Kirk. So when he came into my room that night, interrupting me from doing a last minute school project, I jumped at the chance to be within his arms and feel his lips against mine."

Jim said, watching as Spock sat cross legged across from him, his hand upon the human's shaking hand. The human took a deep breath, suppressed the tears that were inevitable, and carried on with the story.

"Then it all went wrong. He was kissing me, hard on the mouth; I had been kissed before, but never like that. His tongue was deep in my mouth and he was biting at my lip. Inside I was singing out. But then it happened."

Jim stopped again, closing his eyes for a few seconds. Spock stroked his cheekbone with a damp fingertip, urging him onwards. Jim leant into the warmth, biting his lip in embarrassment.

"Spock, just don't judge me okay? I was young and stupid."

Before Jim could hear Spock's response the Vulcan lips were on his for what seemed like the hundredth time, his rough tongue licking at Jim's full lips; calming him and giving him strength he didn't know he possessed.

"I could not make any judgement upon you James, to do so would be a betrayal of your feelings, a crime I would never wish to commit."

Spock whispered, grasping the back of Jim's head and running his fingers through the soft blonde hair soothingly.

"Thanks, it's good to know that someone honest is sticking around for once. Anyway back to Robbie. The next thing I knew he was pushing down on my shoulders, forcing me into a kneeling position in front of him. He unzipped his jeans and…well yeah I think you know what happened next. I had to swallow; he made me swallow every drop of it. I wanted to cry, I wanted to vomit. It tasted vile, it hurt my throat. I was fucking 14 Spock!"

Jim burst out, tears finally spilling down his flushed pink cheeks, his voice cracking and his breath coming out ragged and dry. Spock edged forwards and hugged him tightly, allowing the human to cry wordlessly on his shoulder.

"It sh-shouldn't have h-happened! I w-was so stupid. I let him fuck me. I remember him saying "get on your hands and knees for me kid; I'm gonna r-rock your fucking world" and then he pressed into me, h-hard and fast and painful. I remember the b-bloodied sheets, I remember the burning pain. I remember the moment it was over, he turned to me and said "th-thanks for the fuck darling; it's our little secret though." And then he walked out."

Jim was still heaving on Spock's shoulder, his chest felt tight and his eyes stung. But he didn't care. He trusted Spock. He had finally divulged his hidden past. The reason he didn't trust anyone, the reason he was so insecure. Robbie-fucking-Anderson. The bastard.

"That sounds like an awful experience Jim. I can understand why it has mentally and emotionally scarred you for most of your teenage years. I am sorry that I have upset you by asking you to recall it for me. We do not have to speak anymore if you do not wish to."

Spock broached, wiping a tear away from Jim's jaw as the human edged away from Spock a fraction.

"Thank you Spock; I have never told anybody that before. I am glad that it is finally out of my head. You have no idea the effect that memory has on me. Every time I'm with someone, fucking them, I see his cruel contorted face and it makes me wanna cry and scream and run and hide forever."

Jim retorted, sighing and hugging Spock to him tightly. Spock held tightly to Jim's ribs, running his fingers over them absentmindedly.

"I am glad that you trust me enough to be able to divulge your secrets to me."

Spock spoke softly into Jim's rounded ear. Jim placed a delicate kiss to Spock's cheek, before letting go of him and sitting cross legged on the carpet, staring intently into the beautiful dark eyes.

"I really like you; you are unlike anyone I have ever met before. Makes a refreshing change to have someone here with me, just in the farmhouse with Sam and mum and everything, just hanging out and getting to know me. Other people never stick around to find out anything other than the size of my dick of the colour of my bedroom ceiling. So thanks. Again. I guess I should stop thanking you or you're gonna start throwing stuff at me right?"

Jim chuckled, fiddling with the now empty mug that still sat on the rug.

"no Jim, I will not start throwing objects at you. I care about you and I have enjoyed finding out about your family and your home and your life. The only thing I would've done differently would be to not fall into the freezing cold water."

Spock's lips twitched into a genuine smile. Jim sniffled loudly but erupted into raucous laughter at Spock's comment.

"Yeah, but you got to have my mum's amazing tea, and to sit here all wrapped up in blankets and sit by the fire and everything. Maybe it wasn't all bad. And your starting to warm back up anyway. Or so I can tell from the heat of your lips and your hands on me."

Jim blushed lightly, but carried on smiling at Spock.

Just then Winona walked into the room, carrying a tray with a large plate of freshly cooked pancakes and four cups of steaming tea.

"Pancakes and tea; the perfect remedy for falling in a trough of water and crying your heart out.

Winona said, looking from Spock to Jim. She placed the tray on the coffee table and stooped down to kneel in front of Jim.

"I'm sorry honey, but I couldn't help overhearing what you said; about Robbie and what he did to you."

She whispered, as she held onto Jim's shoulders lightly. He blushed and swore to himself.

"You should've told me jimmy, I could have done something, could have banished him from the house or warned Sam away from him. I'm sorry that he treated you like that; that he hurt you and made you do things you were too young to understand. The fucking bastard! I'm glad he moved to Spain or I would be making my way to his house right now to castrate him or something!"

Winona pulled him into a tight hug, wrapping her warm arms around her little boy. She heard him breathing heavily beside her ear and pulled away, taking his flushed face in her hands and planting a kiss to his forehead.

"Thanks mum. I'm sorry I didn't tell you; I felt like an idiot for letting it happen. I was embarrassed I guess, and I didn't want you or Sam worrying about me. I love you so much."

Jim responded, looking into his mum's pale blue eyes. He heard Sam come in from the garden, humming quietly.

"what's up with my little jimmy? If spock's done something to you I'll kill him."

His brother said looking down at his little family who were both looking sad. Spock blushed but looked affronted at the comment.

"It wasn't Spock, jimmy's just dealing with some difficult stuff from the past; nothing to worry about. Well, nothing pancakes tea and a few good hugs can't solve anyway."

Winona stroked Jim's cheek before moving towards the coffee table. Sam crouched in front of his little brother and surveyed him.

"Well, I'm glad it's not Spock because I was starting to come around to his Vulcan-ness, and I would feel kinda bad having to pound on someone who had been unceremoniously dunked in freezing cold water in the middle of November."

Sam chuckled, wiping a tear away from Jim's cheek. Jim smiled weakly at his older brother. Before Jim could say anything, his brother enveloped him in a strong hug. Jim nestled his head against Sam's warm muscular shoulder.

"It'll be ok little Jiminy, right? The past is just that; in the past. You've just gotta move on. Whatever it is, you've just gotta let go of it and forget it. I can't have you being all sad, coz then I have to hug you all the time; and I think my arms might get a bit tired after hug 107…dontcha think?"

Sam spoke softly to Jim, stroking his fingers over the blonde head that was resting against him.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks Sam. You're the best big brother ever, you know that?"

Jim said, breaking apart from his brother and smiling up at him.

Spock was watching the little family unit interacting, and smiling fondly at them. He would like to think that if he was upset his family would do something similar for him.

"Come on boys, lets eat and drink up, then I was thinking we could go and check out the fair. What do you sat to that huh? We can all go together, cheer little Jimmy up."

Winona said, patting Sam on the shoulder and gesturing towards the sofa.

Jim turned to Spock and smiled widely, before getting to his feet and holding a hand out for Spock to take. He did so and soon enough all four of them were seated on the sofa together, arms wrapped around each other as they ate the pancakes and drank the tea in a pleasant silence.

**Ok so that's another chapter done.**

**It was so fricking long. Sorry about that guys, but it had a lot to cover so just stick with it.**

**The next chapter will be them going to the fair and having oodles of fun, after Jim's little depressing admission.**

**I think also chapter 5 will start to feature stuff about Spock going back to Vulcan; he's only on earth for a week and he will have to leave eventually **

**Hope this chapter is ok, if a bit huge.**

**x**


	5. Chapter 5

**Roller skating: chapter 5**

**Sorry for the long wait…I have been distracted by the freedom of summer holidays. The next chapter won't take this long I promise**

A few minutes later the Kirk family and Spock were ready to go to the funfair. Spock didn't really know what to expect; he had never been to a fair of any kind before.

He said as much to Winona as they left the house and began to walk the streets towards the fair. Jim and Sam were trailing behind chatting and laughing raucously. Spock decided not to worry about being left alone with the blonde haired kind woman.

"Oh don't worry honey, a fair is just a collection of fun rides and stalls where people go to spend their money and enjoy themselves. You'll love it I promise. The boys always used to love going when they were little."

Winona soothed, patting Spock's arm lightly and smiling back at her cavorting sons.

"Alright babe? What you worried about?"

Jim asked, appearing at Spock's side with a large grin on his face. He laced his fingers with Spock's as they walked side by side.

"I was just telling your mother that I had never visited a fair before."

Spock answered, blushing lightly as Jim moved his fingers, stroking the Vulcan's pale knuckles.

"Oh yeah…I guess they don't have fairs on Vulcan huh? Well this one is really awesome; it's got tonnes of cool stuff to go on like rides and stalls and games."

As they moved closer to the fair, the sound of music drifted towards them. The music was cheery and was becoming louder with every step they made.

The entrance of the fair soon loomed in front of the three humans and the half-vulcan. It was well lit with lots of tiny light bulbs and bright neon painted letters.

As soon as Winona walked into the fair she was approached by Sarah Rawlings, the strong catholic woman and mother of a certain Jack Rawlings. He was standing next to her, looking Sam up and down with hungry wanton eyes. Jim and Sam shared a knowing look and Spock stood between them, looking rather confused.

"That's Jack Rawlings, you know, the one that Sam fucked?"

Jim whispered, leaning close to Spock's pointed ear and nodding towards the thin ginger-haired boy in front of them. Sam turned to his brother, frowning and looking incredulous at the same time. He was gesturing at Winona and attempting to silently chastise Jim at the same time.

Realisation washed over Spock as he finally understood the atmosphere that had suddenly formed around them. Jim clasped Spock's hand tightly in his and smiled.

"Hey Sam. How've you been? I haven't seen you since…well I think you can remember the last time we hung out."

Jack said, moving to stand inches away from the sandy-haired boy.

"Uh yeah I do remember it Jack. I've been great thanks."

Sam replied, staring into the other boy's green eyes. The ginger boy was looking at him again, his eyes raking over Sam's body; from his strong muscular arms, to his toned chest, to his jean-covered hips and then lower down. Sam raised his eyebrows and slowly tilted jack's head back up so he was looking into his face.

"Why don't you and I go and check out the Ferris wheel huh? Keep your attention on something that isn't _my cock_ for five seconds."

Sam responded, whispering the latter half of the sentence into the other boy's ear, wrapping an arm around his narrow shoulders and leading him towards the large mechanical wheel in the distance.

Spock and Jim watched in bewilderment. Jim's mouth was hanging open slightly, to which Spock turned and closed it with his mouth, locking his thin lips onto Jim's plump ones. The Catholic woman turned to stare at her son and Sam walking away from her and Winona. A frown appeared on her forehead.

Jim could not believe that she didn't know about her son being gay.

"Come on Jim, let us explore the fair; allow your mother to talk to her friend."

Spock prompted, turning Jim physically away from the two women.

"Yeah, of course. Right the fair. What do you want to go on first?"

Jim finally managed, after snapping out of his confusion induced silence. Spock looked around at all the brightly coloured stalls and felt as if he couldn't have chosen even if he'd wanted to.

"Let's start off with some candy-floss then eh? Give us a bit of a sugar rush."

Jim decided, grasping Spock's hand and dragging him towards a man standing with a large steel tub beside him. The man smiled at Jim and Spock, yet frowned when he saw the Vulcan ears. Spock met his gaze, blushing light green at the scrutiny he was receiving.

"What is candy floss Jim?"

Spock asked, watching the machine whirring and moving and mixing. Jim turned to him with an incredulous look on his face. When Spock answered his unspoken question with a shrug, Jim just smiled.

"It's sugar and food-colouring spun in a machine. It tastes amazing. It's not exactly healthy but you'll love it Spock. I know you will."

Jim answered, pointing at the metal drum and the coloured sugar in pots on top of it. Spock nodded and walked closer to the stall, pulling Jim with him.

What can I get for you and your alien?"

The vendor asked, eyes boring into Jim's, willing him to explain his extraordinary choice of guest. Jim didn't comply.

"We would like two sticks of candy floss please. And don't call him that; he's a better person than you could ever be."

Jim responded, his teeth gritted together to avoid shouting at the man. Spock squeezed Jim's hand in gratitude, waiting for the man to give them their candy floss.

The man looked affronted, scoffing at Jim's response. Jim handed him the correct money, took the candy floss and walked away from the man, frowning slightly.

"Here you are babe. I'm sorry about what he said. Some people around here aren't exactly that tolerant of anything different."

Jim handed Spock the stick of sugar and looked into his face for a reaction. Spock shook his head in dismissal of Jim's apology.

"Thank you Jim; but it is not for _you_ to apologise. I am used to being treated as an outsider. On Vulcan I am also treated with some animosity as I am a half breed. These are very rare on Vulcan and therefore I am faced with people viewing me as an attraction to be mocked and attacked. Let us not dwell on his intolerance."

He stroked Jim's cheek with his free hand, whilst taking a bite of the candy floss tentatively. His lips quirked upwards, on finding that he liked the taste.

"Alright, but I still hate that guy for what he said. We should get in line for the Ferris wheel. There's always a huge line to get on it."

Jim said, looking back at the man angrily. Without a seconds thought they walked towards the already forming line next to the large mechanical flashing wheel that was anchored to the ground with a lot of metal poles. Jim wrapped his arm around Spock's shoulder hugging him lightly.

"I'm glad you're here with me Spock."

The human whispered into a delicate pointed ear. He felt Spock's hand grasp at his waist and hug back, his warm fingers brushing against Jim's warm skin for a millisecond.

Jim turned around to see his brother Sam entangled with Jack Rawlings. His fingers were carding through the ginger hair and they were joined at the lips. For the second time that evening Jim was frozen in disbelief.

"Holy fuck! I thought they were trying to be discreet about it."

The human finally said, nodding his head in the direction of the two still-kissing boys.

Spock frowned, finding himself most confused by Sam's actions.

"I do not understand your brother, Jim. Your mother said that a girl called Jules was often at your house spending time with him, and he was with the red headed woman at the skating rink. Yet now he is with a man called Jack Rawlings. Is he confused about his sexuality? Human's are a very bewildering species."

Spock voiced, turning to Jim with an eyebrow raised.

Jim chuckled, whilst looking at his brother and then back to Spock.

"You're asking me to try to explain what the hell goes on in my brother's head? Well I have no idea either. I try to keep up with all his dates but even I couldn't tell you. He has sex with girls and he has sex with boys. I think he likes Jack, well he certainly seems to. But then he likes Jules as well. To be honest I have _no idea_ most of the time."

Spock frowned but seemed to accept Jim's explanation. He still resolutely believed that he would probably never understand most of the things humans did.

The line was now moving quickly, with the two people in front of them already seating themselves in a compartment. Spock suddenly couldn't move from the spot. He was staring up at the seemingly very tall wheel, watching as the rickety compartments swayed precariously on their attachments. He suddenly felt a fear settling in his stomach.

"Hey Spock? Are you scared of heights? You seem to be a bit worried about this."

Jim said, patting Spock on the shoulder.

"It seems that you might be right, Jim. I shall however endure and overcome it for the sake of your enjoyment."

Spock answered, forcing his feet to move towards the compartment. He felt Jim's warm hand enclose around his wrist a few moments later.

"You don't have to do that Spock. Thanks and everything but I don't want you to freak out when we get up there."

Jim entwined his fingers with Spock's; squeezing them lightly in appreciation.

"Come on Jim let's go on the ride."

Spock pulled Jim towards the compartment, dragging him by the hand as he stepped inside. Jim raised both his eyebrows at the Vulcan, who was now sitting down, holding onto the bar with white knuckles.

As the ride began to move, Spock edged closer to Jim, being comforted by the protective arm that held tightly to his shoulders. Jim knew that Spock was afraid of heights. So he kept him talking the whole time the ride was moving; to try to distract him. Over the course of the ride Jim found out that: Spock's favourite colour was a golden yellow, he was a vegetarian and this was a cultural rather than personal choice, Spock's father was an ambassador on Vulcan and therefore travelled meaning he was away from home a lot (which Spock found unsettling rather than admirable).

Once the ride slowed to a stop, they realised that they were in the compartment next to Sam and Jack; and they apparently hadn't separated the entire time as their lips were still glued together.

Jim paid the ride vendor and he manoeuvred Spock to a nearby bench, as his legs and hands were quivering. They sat in silence as Jim stroked Spock's back slowly and Spock tried to regain control of his logical mind. He did not understand how he was perfectly fine with space shuttles; he had taken enough of them to various planets and trips with his parents, yet he was petrified of a small fairground ride. Perhaps it was the fact that, although they were living in modern technological times, the Ferris wheel still looked quite rickety and unstable. At least the space shuttles Spock rode in were to be trusted.

Jim disappeared for a short while, at which Spock began to worry. Had Jim felt embarrassed or ashamed at Spock's foolish reaction? Perhaps he was regretting bringing the Vulcan to the fairground? Either way Spock felt his insides jittering and squirming, he closed his eyes to block out the nerves and fear. It was a most foreign feeling, Spock rarely allowed himself to be ruled by emotions.

"Here, drink this. It's only water. Settle your nerves a bit huh?"

Jim passed Spock a plastic cup, patting him on the back with his other hand. The Vulcan gulped the water thirstily, not opening his eyes even now. He turned to Jim and quirked his lips upwards in thanks. He felt like a child for acting so illogically, feeling himself blush dark green.

"I am sorry for my most irrational behaviour regarding this ride, Jim. I do not know what came over me and if you feel ashamed of me I would not be surprised."

Spock blurted out, staring into Jim's face and waiting for his vehement blush to disappear. The human however just shook his head and straddled Spock's lap. The Vulcan was more than a little surprised at that reaction. Jim hugged him tightly and kissed him on the forehead.

"Honestly, it's fine spock. I understand if you're scared of heights. I have this crazy fear of spiders…if there is one anywhere near me I will be jumping around and screaming like a girl. I am not ashamed of you; at all."

Jim responded, tapping Spock on the nose with a warm fingertip and smiling down at him. Spock smiled at Jim's admission and pulled him into another hug, resting his head on his shoulder and letting out a sigh.

"Thank you, Jim. You are so accepting of my eccentricities."

Spock whispered close to Jim's ear, causing him to shiver slightly.

"Sounds like you've recovered now. Do you wanna go try out the ball throwing game? It's really fun. Or I could have a go and you could watch? What do you say?"

The human reluctantly removed himself from Spock and stood, pointing towards a little hut a few yards away. Spock nodded, clasping Jim's warm hand in his.

Within a few moments Jim had collected four foam balls and was smirking in Spock's direction as he pointed up at the little targets he had to try to hit. Spock was fascinated with the concept of the game. Jim had explained that you had to throw the balls and try to hit the small red circles that were painted messily. Then if you hit two targets you would win a small prize. If you hit 3 targets you got a larger prize. And if you got 4 or more targets you won the largest prize; which happened to be a large golden brown teddy bear with a light blue ribbon tied around its neck. Jim juggled the balls easily as the friendly ginger haired woman set up the targets, he nodded up at the teddy bear which was sitting on a shelf at the back, and winked at Spock.

"I'll win that one there; the massive yellow one. Just you wait and see. I hope you like teddies Spock."

Jim chuckled, smiling at the woman who moved out of the way. Spock raised an eyebrow at the latter part of Jim's statement, but felt a fluttering warmth in his chest anyway. He leaned against the wooden hut, awaiting for Jim to make his shots.

Jim was squinting around, squaring up his prey. He gripped a ball and launched it at one of the closer targets; he hit it simply, knocking it backwards. The store owner clapped and Spock smiled with pride at his companion's skill. Within 10 minutes Jim had knocked down two more targets. But he still had a determined look on his face; Spock knew he really wanted to win the teddy bear.

Jim rounded on the stall again, staring intently at his final goal, the small blue target that was furthest away. Spock surprisingly felt tense for Jim. he did not know exactly why either, it was just a fairground ride and Jim was very capable as he had already shown. He watched as Jim drew his plump lower lip between his teeth, which caused the warmth in Spock's chest to increase a fraction.

The Vulcan could not keep the smile from his lips as Jim guided the small ball straight towards the target and knocked it down. The tension was lifted as Jim cheered and pulled Spock into a hug, nuzzling his face into a cool collarbone and grinning against the pale skin.

"Well done my love; you're the only person today who's actually won a prize, now which prize would you like? The teddy bear? The dinosaur? The bunny? Or the orange fish?"

The vendor asked, gesturing at the shelf of large fluffy toys.

"The teddy please. I won it for you babe."

Jim said turning to Spock as the woman reached up to grab the honey coloured bear.

Spock smiled as the large furry toy was thrust in his direction proudly. He took it and placed it on the counter, before kissing Jim hard on the mouth to show his appreciation fully. Jim responded eagerly, his tongue soon plunging between Spock's pale lips and teeth. They broke apart grinning and dazed, paid the woman, and walked away with Jim holding the bear under his arm.

There was not a question to what Jim wanted to do next. Spock found himself being pulled towards a large pink and purple ride, with the words 'Tunnel of Love' emblazoned in bright flashing yellow light bulbs.

The two boys stared at the little boats that were moored to the edge of the ride. They were in the shape of hearts and floated upon a quick-moving body of water, which was splashing and sloshing over the side onto the grass.

Jim bounded towards the stall owner and paid her, before coming back to where Spock was standing, eyeing the ride sceptically.

"Is this safe Jim? I would not want to fall in the water."

Spock asked in a whisper, thumbing the teddy bear's ear absentmindedly as he watched the water flow past.

"Perfectly safe. Come on babe; let's get in a boat."

Jim assured him, grinning and moving towards the edge, peeking over into the water, where lots of confetti hearts were swirling.

The boys climbed into one of the boats, with Jim holding his hand out for spock to take; spock still wasn't one hundred percent sure about the ride's safety. The vendor removed the rope that was keeping it tied and threw it into the boat.

They moved surprisingly slowly down the tunnel, romantic (and rather dated) music was blaring out of speakers that were placed all around them. Every so often they were doused in heart confetti. Jim wrapped his arm around spock's shoulders and leant his head against him. Spock settled happily into Jim's side and sighed.

"See? Isn't this fun? Not dangerous or anything."

Jim kissed Spock's cheek and murmured into his pointed ear. The vulcan turned to Jim, a smile on his face.

"I have ascertained that the purpose of this ride is to allow the riders privacy so they can carry out their romantically themed intentions."

Spock managed, after suppressing a shiver at Jim's vicinity. Jim laughed and after a while nodded his head, smirking slightly.

"yeah; sounds about right. I think it would be _illogical_ to waste such an opportunity; almost offensive to the ride if we didn't carry out some "romantically themed intentions"."

The human replied, standing up and sitting himself gently in Spock's lap, placing his hands either side of the Vulcan's face.

"I-indeed."

Spock nodded, before Jim kissed him forcefully on the mouth, his tongue pleading for entrance. Spock bucked his hips at the action. Both boys didn't notice that more confetti rained down upon them as hands explored bodies and tongues travelled around mouth cavities. Jim kissed his way down from the tip of Spock's ear to his pale collarbone, leaving tiny little green marks behind. Spock's eyes were half lidded and he was suppressing a moan in his throat. Jim swore he heard purring as he sucked the Vulcan's earlobe.

Jim reluctantly removed himself from Spock and retook his place next to him, the boat swaying unpleasantly as he moved. The ride ended just as the boys had managed to focus on the real world and the colours and lights and music, and vehemently tried to stop their blood from pooling in their groin areas. They got out of the boat, their knees a little weak, and headed to a nearby bench.

"I'm a little bit tired of the fair; I think there are better ways we could be making use of this time."

Spock said after a few moments. Jim turned to him and smiled seductively. If it wasn't for all of his Vulcan control Spock might've just come right there and then. But he could wait until they were back at the farmhouse. Or he hoped he could.

Spock watched as Jim ran to the toilets that the boys were sitting close to, he returned moments later with a condom in his hand, smiling softly at Spock. Jim tucked it into his jeans pocket.

"One more thing, babe." He said pecking Spock's lips and tearing off in the direction of his mother. Mrs Rawlings had left her about five minutes ago, so she was sitting on a bench reading a magazine.

"Mum, me and Spock are kinda tired; would it be alright if we go back home? We've had our taste of the fair for now"

Jim broached, avoiding brining up the subject of what they were going to do once they arrived home. Not that his mother didn't already know anyway.

"Sure honey, have you got your key? Go and have fun with spock, me and Sam will be back later, if I can drag him away from Jack Rawlings' mouth for a few minutes. That was something I never thought I'd say."

"Thanks…wait what? You know about him and jack?"

Jim asked his mother in shock.

"Yeah Jimmy, and I know about him sleeping with him, it's lucky I know how to keep a secret eh son? Now run along, Spock's looking a little agitated."

Winona looked past Jim at the Vulcan, whose eyes were closed and he was gripping the edge of the bench with white knuckles.

"Oh right, so you knew about that? Huh weird. Anyway yeah thanks mum."

He said hugging his mum briefly.

"Jimmy? Don't forget to be safe…have you got protection or do you need me to get you some from the dispenser?"

"Oh my God mum! No, I've got it covered thanks, jeez! I'm not stupid you know."

Jim replied, blushing slightly at hearing his mother talk about that. And in public too.

"I know love; I just don't want you to get hurt."

She said, pointedly looking at him.

"I love you mum, thanks."

He said smiling at her before running back to Spock.

"You ready to go?"

Jim asked Spock, patting him on the shoulder; Spock looked up at him with lust swirling in his dark eyes. The human smiled down at Spock and winked.

They left the fair walking hand in hand; the walk home would be a lot of fun. If the boys could keep their hands off each other long enough to walk, of course.

**Hopefully this chapter isn't too shabby. It's mostly fluffy stuff centred on fair ground rides.**

**The next chapter will have some sex in it…so be ready for that.**

**Not a cliff-hanger or anything this time. **

**Love x **


	6. Chapter 6

**Roller skating 6 **

**Hope it isn't too crappy**

The walk home was shorter than any other Jim had ever taken. He and Spock barely spoke; they just walked hand in hand, whilst shooting sly glances at each other every now and then. Spock clutched the large teddy in his left hand, smiling as tiny confetti hearts fluttered onto the floor around them as they walked.

Within what felt like minutes they were letting themselves into the back garden of the farmhouse as quietly as possible. The Iowa sun had sunk past the horizon, showering the boys in darkness, but the moon was full and the stars were twinkling above them.

As soon as the gate clicked shut, Jim was kissing Spock hard on the mouth, both of them stepping backwards in awkward unison. Jim had meant to lean Spock against the house, but he misjudged the distance and they ended up in a giggling heap on the soft green grass. Not that they minded of course. Jim continued to kiss Spock breathless, making himself comfortable on top of the Vulcan's narrow hips. After a few moments, when they needed to breathe, Jim dislodged himself from Spock and lay in the grass next to him, panting slightly with a blush still gracing his cheekbones.

"The stars here on earth are beautiful."

Spock said, breaking the pleasant silence that had fallen between them. He reached out, brushing and entwining his fingers with Jim's.

"Yeah, I used to sneak out at night into the cornfields and lie back and watch them for hours. They're kinda romantic…don't you think?"

Jim answered, turning his blue eyes towards his Vulcan companion. Spock looked at him for what seemed like an eternity. Deep brown eyes met crystalline blue ones, and nothing else mattered.

Jim spread Spock's legs and sat in between them, smiling mischievously. The Vulcan was supporting his weight on his elbows, his head cocked to one side as he regarded Jim with an eyebrow raised. That was all it took for Jim to snap and throw himself on top of Spock, kissing every inch of him that was possible. His shaking fingers made easy work of Spock's clothes and, after a few minutes both of them were wearing only their underwear. Although it was a cold autumn night, the boys didn't notice the temperature; they had more important things to occupy their minds.

Jim kissed Spock lightly on the mouth, smiling against the pale lips as he heard the boy beneath him moan and whimper. Spock was absentmindedly slithering his hands under the waistband of Jim's boxer shorts, this caused the human to writhe slightly. The cool sensation of Spock's sensitive fingertips roaming over his skin was enough to make him come right there and then. But he didn't. That would happen later.

He slipped off Spock's underwear quickly, inhaling at the beautiful sight they were concealing. How the fuck was he this lucky? Hey, better not to dwell on that, right? Yeah probably. So he snaked his fingers behind Spock and began to stroke around his tight entrance. He felt Spock's lips pressing against his collar bone, shallow breaths tickling his neck.

"J-Jim, please…I want you inside of me."

Spock managed, as he stared at Jim through half-lidded eyes.

Jim licked two of his fingers and pressed them inside Spock slowly. Said Vulcan's eyes rolled back in his head at the action. With his other hand Jim carded through the perfectly-styled black hair. Spock nodded, as if giving Jim his silent permission to proceed. He sped up, plunging the fingers deeper and faster inside Spock. Each motion was met with a quiet groan of pleasure. As he slowed to a stop he saw Spock's face twist in disappointment.

"Just a second honey…I've just gotta…give me one minute."

Jim panted, as Spock's dark eyes focused on him. The human divested himself of his boxer shorts and scrambled over to his discarded jeans to retrieve the condom he had collected at the fair. The Vulcan was now staring hungrily at Jim's erect cock; he was already spreading his knees and licking his lips. As Jim placed the latex over himself he looked up at Spock and smiled.

"You are so hot baby. It'll only be one more second before you can have me."

Jim said, crawling over to sit between Spock's legs again. To Jim's surprise Spock sat himself atop his lap, he felt cool fingers encircle his cock and position it at the welcome entrance. Then Spock was sliding himself onto Jim slowly. After a few silent seconds Spock had engulfed Jim's cock completely. It felt so fucking good as Spock started to rock backwards and forwards on Jim's thighs.

Then it became rougher, with Jim bucking upwards as Spock lifted himself slightly and let himself fall back down. Both boys' eyes were rolling in their heads as they whimpered and moaned into the night air.

And then Jim felt Spock tightening around him, his ankles connected behind Jim's back. And spurts of white cum were shooting over their stomachs. The feeling caused Jim to orgasm too, filling Spock with the warm seed and screaming out his name.

The air was met with heavy, choked panting as Jim pulled out and lay next to a sated and happy Spock.

Then the sky, which had been clouding over while the boys had been distracted, lit up with a bolt of lightning. This caused both boys to jump. The thunder rumbled loudly over their heads. The first spots of rain falling on their rapidly cooling skin had the boys rushing to dress and get out of the storm.

Jim grabbed Spock's trembling hand, picked up the teddy bear from earlier and pulled them towards the nearby barn. The animals were all sleeping around them, Spock's eyes were darting around him; he looked a little bit frightened.

"In here, come on, quickly."

Jim whispered, gesturing to the hay bales that were piled up behind him. They crawled between them and sat in the warm hay, their hands clasped together tightly.

"Vulcans can do those mind meld things can't they? Is it weird to be able to see into other people's thoughts?"

Jim asked, trying to distract himself and Spock from the storm that was raging outside. Spock looked sideways at Jim, a small smile playing on his lips.

"I am a touch telepath Jim, so every time I touch someone's skin I can hear their thoughts. But a mind meld is much more intense than that. It is like opening someone's mind and reading it like a book. It depends on the particular mind whether it is an odd sensation or not. I believe that to see into your thoughts would be a most fascinating experience for instance, whereas to see into other's minds is a torture or a painful and harmful experience."

Spock responded, stroking a pale finger across Jim's warm knuckles.

"So, you have been reading my mind, like, the whole time? That's kind of weird."

Jim said, looking up at the barn roof and sighing lightly. Spock suddenly tensed up at the comment, physically moving himself away from Jim's embrace. Jim couldn't fail to notice this; he turned to Spock with a confused and guilty look on his face, his eyebrows knitted together in worry.

"I am sorry Jim, I should have asked for your consent to read your thoughts. I apologise if you feel violated."

Spock half whispered, looking away from the human as a blush settled on his face.

"Hey, Spock, that isn't what I meant. I love that you can read my mind. And I would be totally honoured if you mind melded with me. Don't you ever apologise to me okay? You've spectacularly improved my life just by being here with me. That redeems anything bad you could ever do."

Jim moved behind Spock, wrapping his arms around his torso and hugging him against his shivering chest. The human rested his chin on Spock's shoulder and nuzzled against his cool neck. After a few tense minutes Jim felt Spock's hand stroke his cheek.

"Jim, I am glad that you are not having a negative reaction to my touch telepathy. I would never wish to hurt you or frighten you. To meld with you would be _my_ honour, for you to even consider it is most flattering. If you would allow me, I would like to initiate a meld."

Spock said, turning around so that his face was inches from Jim's.

"Sure, go ahead. Do I have to do anything? Sit in a certain way? Lay it on me, love."

Jim responded eagerly, sitting bolt upright and stretching his legs out, placing his feet either side of Spock's hips. Spock wiggled in between Jim's splayed knees, so he could reach the psi points easier.

"If there is anything you do not wish for me to see within your mind, create a blocking mechanism around it. I will respect your privacy, Jim."

Spock warned, as he began to chant the ritual words within his own mind.

_My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts…_

Reaching out, he placed his fingers on Jim's slightly damp cheek and forehead. He felt the rush of energy as his mind connected and explored Jim's. His silvery blue thoughts were flying slowly past Jim's golden-orange ones. Then memories and feelings were igniting around him and engulfing him.

Jim's eyes were closed tight as he felt Spock's thoughts snaking all around his own.

Spock watched as a memory opened up before him, it showed Jim's eyes rolling back in his head as Spock himself was slowly fucking him, waves of pleasure and happiness rolled over Spock's thoughts.

Then it was interrupted by an image of Winona crying as Jim blew out the candles on his birthday cake. Stabs of sadness broke out everywhere.

Then the scene changed again, revealing an evil and twisted face. The boy had dark ginger hair and a strong jaw line. He was concentrating hard on something, his hips bucking violently forwards into a very young Jim. He could hear him moaning and crying out.

"_Robbie, please stop this! It hurts so much! Why do you have to do this to me?_"

Spock was suddenly angry, his thoughts turned from neutral to seething and hateful. He decided to soothe Jim's mind by allowing some of his own thoughts across the meld. He projected an image of a very young version of himself being cradled by his mother, she was singing soothingly to him. Then it played out to an image of his father shaking his head disapprovingly towards the mother and her child. Spock searched his mind for happy thoughts;

Jim winning the teddy bear for him,

Jim kissing him in the tunnel of love,

and Jim placing the woolly hat upon his head.

This seemed to placate Jim's raging pained mind, as the atmosphere changed again. He could feel love and happiness fluttering around him. Slowly Spock extracted himself from Jim's mind, allowing their joined thought trails to separate. He removed his fingers and felt trickles of tears spilling down Jim's flushed face.

"Jim? Are you alright?"

Spock asked, running his fingers through Jim's damp hair. The human was breathing in heaving breaths, tears were readily flowing now. He did however, manage to nod slightly. Spock closed the space between them and hugged Jim tightly, feeling his warm head lean against his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Spock, I just don't think about those memories very often. They fuck me up every time. Sorry, it wasn't your fault babe. My head's full of crap like that."

Jim managed, after taking a lot of deep breaths and Spock having wiped his tears away.

Spock just hugged him tighter, enjoying the tingles that were squirming in his stomach as his heart hammered against his rib cage.

"You know everything about me, and I've only known you for a couple of days. And the worst thing of all this is that you are gonna have to leave at the end of the week; at the end of tomorrow right?"

Jim suddenly said, shocking Spock with the abruptness of the comment.

Spock nodded sombrely, trying not to think about having to leave his human behind.

"You can't leave me Spock…you just _can't_ leave…I mean, I love-

Before Jim could finish his sentence he felt cool fingers press against his lips; silencing him.

"Do not say it Jim; it will only make it harder for me to go."

Spock responded, frowning as his smile drifted away. Jim smiled at him sadly and patted his knee. The Vulcan stared down at the tanned hand and entwined his fingers with Jim's.

"Just so you know though; I do"

Jim whispered. Spock barely heard it over the sound of the rain thundering on the roof. But his Vulcan hearing picked it up and his lips turned upwards in response.

"And I you Jim. Although we have only known each other for a short time, I find myself inexplicably attracted to you. I will never forget the time we have spent together."

"Me neither Spock; it's been the best few days of my life. With you, everything makes sense. I'm gonna miss you so much!"

Jim choked out; feeling tears well up in his eyes again.

"Let us not dwell on it until the time is upon us. I would rather enjoy our last day together."

Spock reprimanded, clearing his throat to remove the lump that had formed there.

"Y-yeah, right. Sorry honey. We sh-should get inside before we freeze."

Jim recovered, his voice still a little broken and choked up. They removed themselves from the hay and ran inside. Neither of the boys noticed that they had left the teddy bear nestled in between two hay bales.

They bustled in through the back door and Jim pulled them onto the squishy, blanket-covered sofa. They snuggled up on it, Jim lying against the cushions as Spock lay in front of him. Jim wrapped his arms around Spock's torso and knotted his leg in between Spock's, feeling his breathing slow down as his eyes drifted closed. Within minutes Jim was also asleep, thoughts of being alone and without Spock swirling unpleasantly in his mind.

Jim awoke the next day alone on the sofa. He opened his eyes and was greeted by the faint sound of Spock speaking. Sitting up he realised that his Vulcan was on their house phone, Jim caught snippets of the conversation in his sleep addled state _ you wish to bake cakes to thank uncle Thomas?…I spent the night at Jim's house…I'm sure he would not be adverse to the idea..._. He heard Sam crunching cornflakes in the kitchen, and his mum singing cheerily whilst bustling around the kitchen.

Jim sat up and crossed his legs, smiling at Spock as he placed the phone back on the receiver and seated himself next to him.

"Have you sorted it all out, Spock?"

Winona asked, while placing a large plate of waffles in front of Spock and Jim on the coffee table. Jim frowned at her words; what was Spock sorting out? Why didn't he know about it? Spock nodded and half-smiled up at her kind face.

"Thanks mum. What are you sorting out? Are you keeping secrets from me, guys?"

Jim laughed, his eyes narrowed jokily. Spock reached over and stroked a cool finger across Jim's tanned cheek and planted a light kiss on his lips.

"Jim, I thought that, perhaps, we could spend the day at my Uncle's house. My Mother was planning on baking cakes for Thomas as a thank-you present. So she suggested that, as we were going to be in the house, we could help her. What do you think of this idea?"

Spock explained, looking into Jim's face to gauge his reaction. He was met with a wide toothy grin and a fleeting hug from the human. He could hear Winona chuckling from the kitchen.

"Your mother has already given permission for you to go, Jim. But we should leave soon, as my Mother is waiting for us."

Spock added, smiling at Jim as he prodded a piece of waffle on his fork and lifted it to his mouth.

"Is that your subtle way of saying hurry up?"

Jim asked, laughing when Spock raised an eyebrow in response. He took a large bite of one of the waffles, patted Spock on the head and disappeared up the stairs, still smiling.

Minutes later Jim returned downstairs, wearing a fresh set of clothes and ready to go and bake some cakes. The boys said their goodbyes to the Kirk family, after Winona insisted on them finishing the plate of waffles and forcing a glass of juice on them, then they left the house.

Amanda heard Spock and Jim's voices as they walked through the front gate. She hurried to the front door and hugged her son, smiling at his friend at the same time. Spock noticed that he already had her pink spotty apron on and had her hair tied back in a loose ponytail. He thought she looked prettiest with her hair back. He rarely saw her this way as back on Vulcan she always had her hair wrapped in a scarf to protect it from the wind. So the site of her made his lips quirk upwards; not that it wouldn't anyway.

"Go on into the kitchen honey, I just need to fetch the recipe book from upstairs. There are aprons hanging on the back of the door; so suit up, wash your hands and get ready to bake!"

She said cheerily, flurrying past them and up the staircase. Jim turned to Spock, raised his eyebrows and grinned, grabbing Spock's hand and pulling him into the large kitchen off the corridor to the right.

Amanda returned with the small, battered book in her hands. She was flicking through the pages as Jim and Spock tied their aprons and leant against the kitchen counter, smiling slightly in anticipation.

"Ok I was thinking of making a couple batches of cookies and a couple batches of cupcakes. Are you boys ok with that? They are pretty simple recipes so it shouldn't be a problem."

The woman said, tucking a stray tendril of caramel hair behind her ear and placing the open book down on the table.

Jim and Spock moved towards the table, their eyes scanning the recipes with interest.

"So if you and Jim make the cookies, I will make the cupcakes and then we can put them in the oven together. Is that ok, honey?"

Amanda asked, looking at Spock's apprehensive face. He nodded slightly and smiled at her.

"Yes Mother, that sounds like a logical plan, although I do not have much confidence in my cooking skills."

Spock answered as he re-read the recipe. Amanda patted him on the arm and chuckled lightly.

"Well, don't worry about that, Spock. I can help you if necessary, and I'm sure Jim knows how to cook? Do you bake with your mother Jim?"

Amanda turned to face Jim, smiling pleasantly. Jim nodded vigorously as he remembered all the times he and Sam had helped Winona with the baking. They always ended up covered in the ingredients and having laughing fits. But in the end the cakes always turned out quite well.

"Yeah; Sam and I cook with my mum all the time. I wouldn't call myself an expert but I know the basic stuff."

Jim responded, wrapping his arm around Spock's shoulder and squeezing lightly.

"Looks like you are in safe hands then, Spock; Jim will keep everything in order, you just follow the recipe ok?"

Amanda concluded, opening the cupboard and retrieving her ingredients. Spock collected his and Jim's ingredients from around the kitchen and placed them on the counter-top, as Jim read the first instruction.

"Cream the margarine and sugar. So let's measure out the margarine and sugar, babe."

Jim said, turning on Spock and smiling. They fiddled around with the weighing scales until they were working properly and then measured out and dumped the margarine and sugar into the bowl. Amanda was busy behind them, humming to herself happily.

Jim handed Spock a wooden spoon and instructed him to stir slowly. Spock looked worried again, but did as he was told. Where Spock was confident with science and physics and numbers, cooking was not his forte. He did not like the responsibility of cooking. If he did not perform the actions in the correct way the food would not taste satisfactory. Jim seemed to pick up on his anxiousness and wrapped his hand around Spock's.

"Look, honey, like this. Not too slow but not too fast. Ok?"

Jim moved their joined hands in strong circles, combining the ingredients easily. Spock felt a burst of confidence fire through him as Jim was behind him helping him rather than criticising him.

"You're doing great, love. Keep it up. I know this is a bit foreign for you, this cooking lark, but it is fun when you get into it."

Amanda encouraged from the sink. Spock continued stirring; smiling now he knew what he was doing.

"Ok, next we have to mix the egg and vanilla essence. And then add it to the stuff in the bowl."

Jim read aloud, Amanda handed him the egg box and Spock collected a jug from the mixed together, the liquid was poured into the bowl and stirred up together.

"This is going better than I thought it would." Spock whispered to Jim, as he stirred the mixture to make sure there were no lumps.

"Yeah, well I learnt a few things while cooking with my mum. Can you pass me the flour from the counter, baby?"

Jim asked, placing a kiss on Spock's forehead whilst still trying to stir. Who said boys can't multi-task?

The flour was weighed out and added, Spock began to stir it in slowly. Then Amanda surreptitiously delved her hand into the flour bag and threw it into the air. Both boys looked up just in time to be showered with the white powder. Spock opened his mouth to respond to the odd occurrence, but before he could speak Amanda had grasped two handfuls more and launched them at him and Jim. It hit Jim in the face, and the other handful collided with Spock's shoulder.

Amanda was laughing, leaning against the counter, flecks of flour covering her round cheeks and her dark hair. Jim was also chuckling, as he ran his fingers through his now grey-looking blonde hair. Spock stood awestruck at the entire situation. So it was a surprise when Spock delved his fingers into the flour and launched it at his mother. She had a mock look of shock on her face for a millisecond, and then broke down into giggles again.

Within a few more minutes of flour-fighting they all ended up, as did every surface in the kitchen, covered in the stuff.

It all died down quickly as the boys and Amanda carried on with their recipes quietly, an occasional chuckle coming from both sides every now and then.

"Hey, Mrs. A, where do you keep the bicarbonate of soda? Spock can't find it in the cupboard."

Jim asked, as Spock continued to move items around the cupboard to try to see the ingredient.

"Oh yeah, Tom keeps that with the tea and coffee, it's in that tall cupboard over there, honey." Amanda said, manoeuvring the bowl in her arms so she could point it out. Jim smiled and thanked her, walking over and collecting the small pot with a blue lid.

"Got it, spock. So that's half a teaspoon of that."

Jim said, measuring it out and adding it to the bowl. Spock resumed the stirring, the mixture was becoming thicker and harder to mix.

"The next ingredient is the chocolate chips. I will measure them out, Jim. Could you stir the mixture please?"

Spock commanded from the counter-top as he reached up to the top shelf to retrieve the chocolate chips. Jim nodded and took the wooden spoon in his hand.

"Are you nearly ready, boys? I'm going to go and prepare the trays and the cake cases now. So I'll be back in about 10 minutes. You'd better hurry up and add the chocolate chips."

Amanda commented, as she walked out of the kitchen, leaving Spock and Jim alone. Spock was measuring the chips out and Jim was stirring.

"Ok, Mrs. A. yeah; nearly ready."

Jim called, and then they were in silence again. Spock poured the chocolate into the bowl and Jim stirred and folded them into the creamy ingredients.

Jim removed the spoon and began scraping the excess off with his fingers to deposit it back in the bowl. But before he could do so, Spock lifted the hand and pulled the cookie-covered fingers into his mouth. Jim's breath hitched in surprise and pleasure as Spock sucked and lapped at the ingredients.

"D-does it taste g-good?"

Jim choked out, as Spock dropped the hand and his pupils dilated slightly. Spock smiled at Jim's flushed cheeks and stuttered response.

"It is most satisfactory."

Spock commented, running his tongue over his upper lip slowly.

Then Amanda walked back into the room. Jim shook his head to rid himself of the many sexual thoughts that had just flooded his brain. The cookies were wiped from his memory.

"Ready to put them out on trays then?"

Amanda said, clapping a hand on Jim's shoulder. Nothing better to make your mind sober up than your boyfriend's mother. Not that Jim didn't like Amanda; much to the contrary. She seemed like a sweet and caring, protective Mother. Not suffocating or disapproving and she had been very accepting of Jim and Spock. It was just not cool to betray her trust by throwing Spock over the flour-covered table and making full use of the cookie dough. Yeah; probably not a cool thing to do. Well not while Amanda was around anyway.

So they placed teaspoonfuls of the mixture onto the baking trays and placed them in the oven. Spock and Jim then helped Amanda spoon the cupcake mixture into brightly coloured cake cases and they went into the oven too.

Then the three of them moved into the living room and sat in the chairs (after wiping flour from their faces and hair, and all the kitchen surfaces). Spock sat in the armchair and Jim sat himself on the floor in front of him, leaning against Spock's shins with a cushion.

The cakes would take a while to bake so they resigned themselves with waiting for the timer to ring in twenty or thirty minutes.

Making cakes with Amanda? That had been a genius idea. Jim decided that hanging out with Spock's mum had been really awesome. He was glad that he had agreed to do it.

**So that is chapter 6 done. Hopefully it is ok.**

**Sorry it took so long…and that it is so long…9 pages on word! Whoa**

**I thought there needed to be a mind meld…and some more sex and then a tonne of family-related cute stuff**

**This is quite a jam-packed chapter… before the next chapter- which I'm warning now **_**will**_** be sad **


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7 **

**I warn you now it is sad **

**MELODIE4894 – THANKS FOR THE HELP WITH THE PHONE-NUMBER ISSUE :) MUCH LOVE**

"So, Jim, have you always lived in Iowa?" Amanda asked as she watched him placing the now-cooked cakes in their paper cases onto a metal cooling rack. She was un-sticking the cookies from her own tray as she looked at the young human before her.

"Yeah, for my whole life. My mum moved here after she retired from Starfleet. After everything that happened."

Jim replied, as Spock shot him a sympathetic look from across the kitchen.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?" Amanda didn't fail to notice the look between the two boys, so she decided to change the subject. Siblings was always a safe subject.

"I've got one brother; he's a few years older than me. His name's Sam." Jim smiled to himself thinking of his brother. He'd swallowed the lump in his throat when the issue of his dad had hovered silently in the air. He knew that she was going to figure it out soon, how he steadfastly was ignoring mentioning his father.

"Jim, you've talked about your mother, and your brother. What about your father? Does he work away from home?" she felt the tension rise in the air at her question. Jim frowned for a minute, as if in deep thought. Spock edged towards him, placing his hand on top of the human's as it rested on the counter.

"No, he doesn't work away from home. He…uh…he died on the day I was born."

Jim looked sideways at Spock and smiled at the hand atop his. He didn't feel upset by it, he had never known George kirk to be able to mourn the loss of him in his childhood or his teen years. It was just a little awkward when other people asked. He felt bad causing tension by his bombshell.

"Oh honey, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise. Sorry."

She patted his arm and looked sadly into his young face. He smiled at her and shook his head to dismiss her apologies.

"Nah, it's fine; don't worry about it. I never knew him and Sam can barely remember him. It's my mum I worry about. Having to bring us up on her own and cope with it everyday. She's fine now, I mean she still gets upset about it sometimes, but we're there for her when she needs us." Jim answered as they returned to the front room.

Then they heard a key scratching in the lock and Thomas walked through the door, greeting his family cheerily. Jim turned to Spock and hugged him to his chest.

"Looks like that's my cue to exit. I'll let you have the last day here together. I've got some stuff to do at home anyway. Thanks for everything Amanda; I've had a great time today." Jim said, turning towards her and smiling widely. She patted his shoulder as Thomas hung up his coat behind them. Spock looked hurt and confused at Jim's announcement.

"Jim. You cannot leave here. I…I do not…I will never see you again…Jim please?"

Spock whispered urgently as he leaned towards him. Jim stroked a warm hand across Spock's cheekbone. The Vulcan leaned into the touch, his eyes closing slowly.

"Honey, I'll see you again before you leave; I'll make sure to. I just don't wanna crash your last day here. Spend it with your uncle, and enjoy it. Visit the cornfields and the fair and the market and lie on the grass and stare up at the endless sky. Watch the sunset. Do everything that you can while you're here. I've commandeered enough of your trip so you need some time without me." Jim commanded playfully, hugging Spock lightly again, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"Y-yes Jim. I will not leave without saying goodbye to you; I c-could not go back to V-Vulcan without some sense of c-closure." Spock replied hoarsely against Jim's ear, stilling his breathing to prevent the tears that were threatening to spill. Jim's heart ached at the sound of the Vulcan's voice; so pained and scared.

"Thomas, Amanda, and Spock; you've been so amazing to me these last few days. I just wanna say thanks for everything." Jim said, with a definite air of finality. Then he turned and walked out of the house, waving happily at the two humans and his Vulcan.

As soon as the door closed behind him Jim heaved a great sigh, his breath hitching already from being away from Spock. He found himself walking, not knowing where or how; his mind all fogged over suddenly. His feet pounding on the pavement was all he could focus on, his heart hammering against his ribs, all of the memories of the last few days came rushing to him, cascading like water over his mind and engulfing him; drowning him.

He kept himself walking, he didn't want Spock to know he was upset, didn't want him to forfeit another day with his family just for him. So Jim made sure there were a good few streets between him and the house before he finally let the feelings overcome him.

And overcome him they did. He felt his knees buckling and he flopped down onto the kerb and hunched over, feeling his eyes sting with tears and he squeezed them shut. Then his chest was heaving and he was sobbing and balling like a child.

He rested his head on his knees and knew he had to get home. His mum and his brother would be waiting for him. Jim reluctantly lifted himself from the cold pavement and ran, not caring if anyone saw him all broken with tears pouring down his cheeks.

Moments later he barrelled through the gate and around the side of the house, tired from running and clutching a stitch in his side, he sat himself amongst the hay-bails in the barn. He stretched his arms and legs out wide, allowing his body to sink into the warmth around him. But there was something underneath him, something oddly shaped and obstructive. Jim reached behind him and grabbed the object, frowning at his discomfort. He pulled it out and stifled another bout of tears when he held the golden teddy with a blue bow out in front of him. He sat up, crossing his legs and leaning against the hay, and suddenly nothing else mattered, he was tired and comfortable and he could feel his eyelids drooping. He wrapped his arms around the teddy bear and succumbed to the sleep that his body was screaming out for.

Sam rolled into the back yard and dismounted his motorbike, balancing his helmet on the handlebars before leaning the bike against the barn. Then he heard the sound of Jim's steady breathing and muffled sleep noises coming from the building. He wondered why his little brother would be sleeping, sleeping of all things, in the barn at this time of day (or any time of day for that matter).

Sam edged his way into the barn and crouched down before his sleeping brother, who was still leaning against the hay with the teddy clutched in his arms. The older boy frowned as he noticed the tear tracks on his sibling's usually joyful face. he placed a tentative hand on Jim's shoulder and shook him lightly. He awoke with a start and jumped at the sight of Sam.

"Jim, why are you sleeping in the barn? Are you alright? I know you've been crying. Come on little bro, tell me all about it, huh?" Sam soothed, ruffling Jim's hair playfully. Jim seemed anxious for a moment and then he launched himself into his older brother's arms, breathing heavily as fresh tears fell.

"I love him Sam! And he has to leave…at the end of today. It fucking sucks! Because I really really love him and he has to up and leave me! Why did I have to choose the only alien in the roller-rink to fall for? Huh? I…it's just…life isn't fair you know? And I know I haven't known him for very long…only a few days…but I can't explain how I fell in love with him…I just did. And now everything's just got fucked up again Sam!" Jim blurted out, allowing every thought that was swimming painfully in his head to pour out of his mouth. Sam wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulder and leant against the hay next to him.

"Oh, you're talking about Spock. I'm so sorry Jim; this really is a bit of a sucky situation. I didn't know you loved him though; that's pretty intense and serious. I don't think I've ever loved someone like that; that I get devastated when they leave, or breakdown over teddy-bears and stuff. It'll be ok though bro, you can still keep in touch with him and call him or write letters. It isn't the end jimmy, you can't think of this as the be-all and end-all." Sam hugged his brother into his side and stared down at the teddy his brother was still holding onto tightly.

"What's with the teddy bear, by the way? You seemed pretty attached to it, bro."

Sam asked, as Jim pulled back from the hug and stared down at it sadly. The younger brother was thumbing the blue ribbon as he looked at Sam through teary eyes.

"I won it for Spock at the fair. He left it here last night after we…uh…well after we were here. I'm gonna give it back to him before he leaves. I just like the way it smells of him. I bet I sound like a massive sap don't I? Jesus! Why did I choose Spock, the one guy in Iowa that's leaving, to fall head over heels in love with?" Jim pounded his fists on the ground as the teddy fell from his grasp.

"You can't help who you love, Jimmy. When does spock leave?" Sam asked his brother tentatively, not wanting to upset him.

"Tonight at nine o clock, from the west-brook space dock." Jim answered, his voice stoic and emotionless. Sam knew that Jim would've been going over and over the date and time and place of Spock's departure, because he knew what kind of kid his brother was; one that thought too much. All Sam wanted to do was take his little brother's pain away, but he could see no way to do it. The Vulcan was leaving to return to his own planet, and Jim had fallen in love with him. Enough bad things had happened to Jim without heartbreak to be added to the list.

"I'm sorry Jim. And you don't sound like a sap when you talk about him." Sam said, wrapping his arm around Jim's shoulders and wiping the tears from his cheeks with a warm thumb. Jim looked up at him and smiled weakly, attempting to show his appreciation to Sam.

"Come on let's go inside, huh? It's chilly out here. Bring teddy as well."

Sam led Jim inside and seated him on the sofa and then busied himself in the kitchen, making some strong tea for his lovelorn sibling.

Meanwhile Spock was in his room, suitcase open on the bed as he collected all of his belongings from around the room. Everything he saw reminded him of Jim, and it was just slowing him down. With tears in his eyes he folded his clothes and placed them in the case, before slumping onto the ground and lifting his knees up to his chest. He rested his head upon them and let all of the memories come back to him. The roller-rink when Jim had rescued him from falling on the ground over and over again. Their first kiss with arms wrapped around each other. In Jim's room later that night on the bed with Jim writhing beneath him. Sitting in front of the fire as Jim spilled his soul and told Spock his darkest secret. At the fairground on the Ferris wheel, and kissing in the tunnel of love. The night under the stars was one Spock would never forget. Even the baking with his mother was something that roused his usually-controlled emotions. He closed his eyes and succumbed to the tiredness that was tugging at his already-fogged mind. Sleeping for an hour or so wouldn't do him any harm.

He was awoken three hours later, by a knocking at the front door and the doorbell ringing. Who would possibly be visiting the house? His mother and uncle were both in the house, and Jim had returned home. He heard his mother open the door, yet he did not hear a voice of the visitor.

"Honey, someone's brought something for you, come and have a look." Amanda called up the stairs to Spock. He was confused at his mother's words. But he relented anyway, walking down the stairs to see his parcel. His mother was holding a large lumpy shape wrapped in brown paper with string tied around it. There was an envelope sitting on top of it with his name on it.

"Here you are, love. I don't know who sent it, but they brought it to the door personally because there aren't any post marks or stamps on it." His mother said, placing it in Spock's hands and smiling at him encouragingly. They walked into the kitchen and he placed it on the table. Amanda moved around the table and seated herself opposite Spock and the package. He moved the envelope to one side to open later.

Anticipation seeped into his mind as he untied the string and let the paper fall away. What he saw made his heart leap into his throat (although such a thing would be medically possible of course). It was the teddy bear that Jim had won in the shooting game at the bear. That Jim had won for _him._ The memories swam in his head again and he felt his eyes prickle with tears. On top of the golden bear rested the grey woolly hat that Jim had forced on his head on the first night they had met. He lifted the hat and held it tightly in his hands, the soft material reminded him of when he was wearing it, the way that Jim was fussing about him feeling cold, and the way the tassels of the hat had tickled Jim's nose as Spock leaned over him. Then the tears were flowing freely as everything from that night came rushing back to him.

Amanda jumped up and moved to hug her son, his head resting on her shoulder as he shook with crying.

"I-I need to get some fr-fresh air. I w-will be in the garden if you need me, Mother."

Spock said, manoeuvring himself away from his mother's embrace and picking the letter up from the table, he also took the teddy bear and the hat with him, clutching it all he walked into the front garden and lay back in the grass, it was wet with dew and frost, but he found he didn't care at that moment. The teddy, the hat and the letter were placed safely on the doorstep.

After lying there for at least thirty minutes in contemplative silence he decided to open the letter, to see what Jim had written. He picked up the hat first, which he shoved onto his head to warm his ears in the cool weather, and then he placed the bear between his crossed knees. Feeling slightly comforted and prepared by Jim's gifts, he slowly ripped the envelope open and removed the paper inside.

_Dear Spock,_

_I don't really know what to say to you, that I haven't already said a hundred times. I just want you to know that you being here for these few days has made my life a million times better. You came in and flipped my life upside down._

_I know we were trying not to say the l-word, and I'm going to keep to that. But I want to know that I really l-word you._

_For the first time in my life I found someone who cares about me, and I mean genuinely cares, not just fake-cares so they can sleep with me and then leave._

_I want to thank you for making this week the best ever. I've had great fun with you; at the roller-rink, and the farmhouse, and the fair, and the baking with your mum. I'll never forget all the stuff we did together._

_Please don't forget me either. I'm hardly ever arrogant in my life, but I know that I had some effect on you too, so don't let us lose contact._

_My address is:_

_The Kirk Farm – 72 Jaybird Street_

_Riverside_

_Iowa_

_My email address is:_

_J_T_KIRK _

_My home phone number is:_

_555-555-5555*_

Spock placed the letter down, feeling his eyes stinging with tears again. Didn't Jim realise that this letter was going to torture him even more than having to leave? When he was reading the letter Jim's voice had been ringing out in his head. He could imagine all of Jim's mannerisms if he'd said the words out loud, his perfect teeth biting at his plump bottom lip, scratching the back of his neck with nervousness, a light blush scattering over his tanned cheeks.

His brain had taken such an emotional battering over the past few days that Spock couldn't focus on anything except Jim. A steady rhythm was beating in his mind; Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim Jim. He found himself walking down the street, towards the focus of his thoughts. He needed to speak to Jim, to see him again.

The streets are silent and cold, but Spock doesn't notice this. He just keeps his feet pounding on the concrete towards his goal. Within what felt like minutes the Vulcan was standing outside Jim's front door, trying to calm his reeling mind. He raised a shaking hand and knocked at the door. He listened for movement on the other side of the door, and he was treated to the sound of Jim's voice. Then the door was open and all the responses and greetings that had been spinning around his mind disappeared.

Jim smiled widely as he saw Spock standing before him. his smile widened further when he saw spock was wearing the grey hat he had given him.

"Jim, I need to speak to you. Would you please walk with me?" Spock spoke confidently, gesturing the street behind him. Jim stepped out of his house, after shoving his warm feet into his battered old trainers and he had informed Sam of where he was going. Jim and Spock walked together awkwardly. The tension of Spock leaving floated between them and above them, like a grief-filled rain cloud waiting to rain all over them at any point. But Jim tried to break the tension by slipping his fingers in between Spock's pale ones, enjoying the Vulcan's eyes fluttering.

"Is there somewhere we can sit and talk?" Spock asked after ten minutes, glancing around for a bench or a kerb.

"I know a place, follow me." Jim answered, grabbing Spock's hand tightly and running into an alleyway off to the left. Spock had no choice but to run too as he was wrenched along. The alley carried on for a while, but it eventually opened up to a golden cornfield glowing even in the dark November chill. Spock stood paralysed by the sight. How could something so beautiful be hidden behind Iowan suburbia?

"Come on, Spock." Jim said from beside him tugging at the tassels of spock's new hat, which shook him from his reverie. Jim ran off again, disappearing into the tall plants until Spock could only hear his retreating footfalls.

"Spock; follow my voice, come and find me, baby." Jim called out, as Spock made his way into the field warily, feeling a bit lost without Jim with him. he started to run towards the sound of Jim's shouting. And then the corn thinned out, to reveal a large circle with nothing growing there. He frowned at the spectacle, but then he saw Jim sitting cross legged in the centre and smiled down at him. Spock closed the gap between them and sat opposite the human boy, shuffling until their knees were touching.

"I wanted to tell you that I love- Spock started to say, but Jim reached out and placed his fingers over Spock's lips to stop him. Spock frowned at the action. Did Jim not feel the same way? He had _said_ he did in the letter; was it a lie? A brush-off perhaps?

"Spock, please don't say that. It was hard enough having to not write it in the letter. You saying that word will make you leaving a million times harder. I feel the same way; you know I do. I just... I can't deal with that, on top of everything else…is that ok, babe?" Jim replied, his voice cracking a little bit.

Of course he wanted to hear Spock say those three little words to him. The way the syllables would roll off his Vulcan tongue and Jim would kiss the words from his mouth over and over again. But right now it was all too much. The three words were the elephant in the room, the unspoken issue hanging over them. They hadn't said it; and Jim wanted to keep it that way.

"Yes, Jim. I understand." Spock replied, leaning forward and placing a light kiss on Jim's full lips.

"I am sorry that I have to leave, I have never wanted to return to my home less than I do now." Spock carried on, as if he had a speech rehearsed and he wanted to complete it before letting emotion get the better of him. Jim placed his hand on top of Spock's.

"I…I can't believe that you….actually have to leave today. You-you're the best thing that …ever happened to me. It's so…so unfair." Jim stuttered out, staring into Spock's dark brown eyes as he felt tears threatening to spill.

"Jim, we must not sit here bemoaning what cannot be changed, we must enjoy our last moments together." Spock said while entwining his fingers with Jim's.

"Yeah…yes, of course, you're right. I'm sorry." Jim muttered, shaking his head to rid the thoughts of pain and loneliness. He could always make a crappy situation look better, that's what he was good at; positivity. So he moved himself from the cold frozen ground and sat himself squarely in Spock's lap; it was quickly becoming his favourite place to sit.

He wrapped his arms around Spock's neck and kissed him hard on the mouth, licking along the Vulcan's pale lower lip pleading for entrance. It was granted quickly and Spock sucked on Jim's pink tongue for a good minute or so, just enjoying the feeling of Jim wrapped all around him in the cold autumn air.

After a while they break apart, and Spock smiles at Jim as he feels the human's hands snaking around Spock's hips.

"Oh, I wanted to say thank you for the gifts you gave me. I appreciate the gesture."

Spock said, idly fingering the hat's tassel that rested on his shoulder. Jim smiled and placed a kiss on Spock's lips in response.

"Well, I won that bear for you, at the fair, so that was yours anyway. And the hat; well I don't think I've ever worn it and it just looked so cute on you that night, that I thought you should have it. But you're welcome."

Jim said smiling and tapping Spock lightly on the nose with a tanned finger tip. Spock really would miss the feeling of warmth that graced Jim's skin, and the way it felt against his own cooler skin.

They lay in the cornfield, in the oddly-placed crop circle for a while, watching as the sun moved across the sky, hidden behind dark moody-looking rain clouds and as the frost circled around them. Spock was glad he had the hat and his own personal body-heater to keep him warm.

"I will miss Earth, and the way the temperature changes, and all of the nature that surrounds you here. It is beautiful." Spock said, once the sun began to set, colouring the sky with deep reds and purples. A cool mist was also descending around them as Jim rolled over so he was lying on his side, watching the night sky reflecting in Spock's eyes.

"Hmm. I guess it's ok…I mean it doesn't seem anything big or exciting to me…it isn't something that I really think about, but then I'm used to it. I mean it isn't like love, or meeting someone who spins your world on its head and changes the way you look at everything…you know?" Jim said coyly, stroking Spock's ear as the Vulcan blushed and also turned on his side. He stroked pale fingertips down Jim's be-freckled cheekbone.

"I guess we should be getting back, huh? Have you finished all your packing?" Jim said, realising that they had been out there for a few hours; he had again commandeered Spock away from his family. Actually it had been Spock who sought him out this time, for once he was innocent.

"Yes, it seems like we must return to reality once more; although I enjoyed our moment of respite. Thank you for making my stay here on Earth a pleasant one, Jim…it has been most…most illuminating. You have also changed the way I view life…I will never look upon Earth again without…without…thinking of our time together…without thinking of you." Spock managed, as he and Jim removed themselves from the ground and slowly walked out of the cornfield arms wrapped around each other.

Once they reached Jim's house, Spock didn't want to leave him. but he knew he had to return to his uncle's home before he and his mother would leave at nine o'clock. He tried to fight back the tears as he hugged Jim goodbye.

"I-I need your contact details…so I can contact you when you go…when you are back home…come in and write them down for me?" Jim asked as they separated, his voice was croaky as it all came hurtling towards him; Spock was leaving. _Spock_ was leaving. Spock was _leaving Earth forever. FOREVER._

The vulcan nodded and followed Jim inside, a misery engulfing his very soul at having to leave this world behind, the world of Jim; his farm, his family, his street, his bedroom, his personality, his beauty behind to return to his home.

Then he was leaning over the table, with a piece of paper and a pen placed in front of him. The pen had the name James Tiberius Kirk scribed into the side of it. Spock wrote down his address and phone number for his home on Vulcan. He also wrote down his email address. He felt the tears well in his eyes as he pushed it across the table to Jim.

Jim was sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking in silent tears. That sent Spock over the edge. He rushed to sit beside Jim, leaning his head on his shoulder. Jim looked up at him through bleary, red-ringed eyes, attempting (and failing) to convey a strong smile in Spock's direction. With a final squeeze of Jim's hand Spock stood and walked out of the house, towards his uncle's house. He hated to leave the farm house, but he knew that if he didn't leave then, he never would. His legs felt weak and his head hurt from crying.

When he got back to the house, his mother was sitting on the doorstep, with Thomas beside her with his hand in hers with the teddy bear clutched lightly in her other hand. Spock took the teddy as she offered it to him, and then he sat himself next to her. He looked at the watch on his wrist, it read 8:30. In half an hour he would be on a shuttle rocketing away from the best few days of his life. His first love would be left and he would be disappearing to Vulcan.

Back in the farm house Winona and Sam had sat themselves on either side of Jim and were listening to him tell them about all the things he and Spock had done, and why fate fucking sucked. He skated over the facts regarding the sex he and Spock had had, not that they didn't know he was sleeping with Spock, but still it's not cool to tell your family all the kinky details. Although they were forever within Jim's mind; the curves and angles of Spock's pale body, the feeling of spock inside of him, the way spock blushed green right to the tips of his ears, the way his own name sounded pouring from spock's pale lips. He would never forget it.

"Ok, we need to get you to that space-dock sharpish. You nee to see him one more time before he goes, Jim." Winona said, running her fingers through Jim's blonde hair once the heaving breaths stopped and he had recovered slightly.

"Its 8:45 now, we could_ so_ get to the space-dock if we take the truck; Mum, where are the keys?" Sam said, jumping up from the sofa and smiling, he always liked doing spontaneous and seemingly crazy stuff. Jim smiled in spite of his misery at his older brother. He really appreciated his family in times like this.

"They're right here, come on jimmy; we've got a Vulcan to see. Chop chop!" Winona commanded, grabbing the keys off a hook on the wall and pulling on her boots. Jim got up and trudged to the doorway, grabbing a scarf from the hook and turning to his mum and brother.

"Thanks, you guys…I really…I appreciate…just thanks…you know." Jim couldn't fully say it but he made a valiant attempt.

"Yeah yeah, blah blah we're awesome…come _on! _ We haven't got long!" Sam said, clapping and ushering Jim and Winona out of the house. He locked the door and rushed into the back of the old truck while Jim and Winona clambered into the front. She started up the engine and reversed out of the drive, powering down the street towards their destination.

Amanda and Spock arrived at the space-dock in Thomas' car. He was wiping tears from his eyes as he collected their bags from the back. They took them from him and he hugged them individually.

"I'm so glad you two came to visit me. It's been really great having people to fuss over and spend time with. Amanda, I really appreciate you coming all the way here from so far away and everything. It's just been so good to see you. I hope you come and visit again soon. I'll miss you guys!" Thomas managed to say, as he watched a battered old truck trundle into the dock behind them. It parked up a few spaces away and two teenaged boys climbed out, Thomas recognized the younger one immediately, even in the dark.

"Isn't that Jim over there? By that old truck?" Thomas said, pointing to the little family who were watching Spock, Amanda and Thomas with anticipation. Spock whirled round at the mention of Jim, and, sure enough it was the boy in question.

Jim waved at him, feeling really awkward now that he was actually there. He was planning on it being like a romantic comedy where the hero runs through the airport to find his love and they reunite with the crowds and staff cheering and he spiels out some cheesy line and then they jump-hug and live happily ever after. Apparently not.

Spock felt the pressure of his mother's hand pressing into his back. He moved towards Jim, his suitcase dragging behind him. They embraced tightly and kissed again, but this time it wasn't rough and hard, but soft and tender. A kiss filled with love.

"I want you to have this-" Spock rummaged in his suitcase and pulled out the long jumper he had worn at the roller-rink. He held it out for Jim to take; the human grasped the material with shaking fingers, drawing it close to him.

"-to remember me by." Spock concluded, stroking a fingertip down Jim's tear-trailed cheek. He watched as Jim pulled the jumper over his head and hugged it absentmindedly, revelling in the way it smelled like Spock.

Then Jim was hugging Spock again, with such force Spock could barely breathe, and that's saying something because Vulcan's are strong. He could feel Jim's lips nuzzling into his cool neck and he really wanted to throw his head back and moan in response. But that would be a little improper given their company.

"I know w-we said that we weren't gonna say…say it, but I can't let you leave here without me telling you how I-I really f-feel. I love you, Spock. And I will never,_ ever_ forget you. You…it's just been so…just amazing…thanks…thank you Spock." Jim said, between gulping breaths and new tears making their way down his face.

Spock was crying too, he furiously wiped his eyes and took a few steadying breaths.

"I-I love you too. I know that we w-will meet again. I will m-make sure of it." Spock managed to choke out before the tears took over again. Then the shuttle that Spock and Amanda would be leaving on arrived a few feet away, the little group turned towards it with solemn looks on their faces.

Amanda patted Jim on the shoulder and thanked him for looking after Spock, and then her and Spock picked up their suitcases and walked towards the shuttle. They seated themselves on, with the Kirk family and Thomas carrying the rest of their bags over. Jim picked up the teddy from the back seat of the car and handed it to Spock, placing a final soft kiss upon his lips.

"I guess this is g-goodbye then." Amanda said, feeling her own tears well up at having to leave her beloved Earth. Spock and Jim stared at each other through the small window; Jim raised his hand and waved, swallowing the lump in his throat. The doors closed and the shuttle flew up into the sky, disappearing into a tiny dot in minutes. Jim felt Sam's arm wrap around his shoulders and his mum stroking his arm. He felt empty and cold and exhausted. He did not know when, or if he would see Spock again. But he had the jumper to remember him by, and he could always call him.

He had no idea what to do now, his life seemed awfully empty with Spock gone. He still had his awesome family to get him through it though, that he was thankful for.

"Hey, it's Thomas isn't it? Would you like to come round ours for a cuppa? I know that I need one, I don't know about you?" Winona asked, smiling at the kind-hearted man. He nodded and chuckled, wiping a tear from his eye.

"Lead the way and I'll meet you there." He called, jumping into his car as the Kirk family made their way to the battered truck. Jim sat in the back with Sam and smiled weakly at his brother.

"I'm sorry bro, really. But you'll be ok soon enough." Sam soothed, patting Jim's knee as they reached the farm house. Jim smiled again, knowing his brother's words were true.

But at that moment he felt so desperately alone and as if his heart had taken a good beating. A warm cup of tea with three sugars was placed into his hands and his mothers cool fingers ruffled his hair moments later. He missed Spock already.

*** I didn't use a proper phone number because I was worried it might turn out to be an actual existing number and yeah…so I just put all fives…just imagine it's an Iowa phone number ok? **

**Sad sad sad…I feel emotionally drained and I only wrote it…so much crying and hugging and yes it is a bit clichéd and kind of cheesy/romance movie stuff…but you can't write someone leaving without some fluffy schmoopy stuff**

**I tried to avoid being too bleh and disgustingly sweet with the dialogue. But it was hard to not. **

**Hopefully it's not too bad. **

**Really long again sorry….11 freaking pages **


	8. Chapter 8

**Roller-skating… 8**

**Hopefully this chapter is less sad than the last one. It's a bit of a filler/transition chapter so bear with me if it's a bit clunky**

**Some mentions of sex acts and swearing just to warn you**

Spock was leaning on his mother's shoulder sleeping, with the teddy bear clutched tightly in his arms. Amanda watched out of the window as they approached Vulcan, the orange sands and pale buildings coming closer and closer. The shuttle flew over the town towards the space dock.

She was excited to see her husband again and to relax in the warmth of the planet after the cold Earth weather. She was also worried about her boy; would he be able to get over Jim? Would he be miserable from now on at the lack of the boisterous teenager?

She looked sideways at the tear-soaked face of her son and frowned. She really wanted him to be okay after everything that happened on their vacation. Amanda knew that Jim meant a lot to Spock, and that getting over him would be very difficult for him.

As the shuttle landed lightly on the ground, Amanda roused her son by shaking him lightly.

"Baby? We're at the space dock. Let's go and see your father, hmm?" she said softly as he opened his eyes slowly and stared out of the window. Nodding, Spock picked up his belongings and moved towards the door of the shuttle. Amanda followed him and they walked towards Sarek who was standing close by.

"Hey, love, are we going to tell your father about Jim? Or do you want to keep it secret?" Amanda asked as she rounded on Spock a few metres from where Sarek was waiting.

"Do you think it would be better to let him know? Or to avoid telling him?" Spock asked in a monotone voice.

"Well, it would be hypocritical for him to frown upon you loving a human. It's up to you though; tell him? Or not?" Amanda patted Spock's shoulder and looked into his conflicted dark eyes.

"I believe it would be best to be honest with father. I do not wish to lie to him or deceive him. If he does not accept my love for Jim then he does not care for me as I believe he does." Spock decided, looking into his mother's face as she smiled at him.

"Ok then, baby. I'm guessing you want to tell him yourself?" she asked, linking their arms and walking again. Her acceptance of the situation caused Spock to relax and love her a little more than he already did.

"Yes please, mother." Spock responded, feeling a little nervous at the prospect of telling his father he was in love with a human boy. Although nervousness was an emotion that he should probably repress now that he was back on Vulcan.

"How was your trip?" Sarek asked as he moved towards them. Amanda resisted the urge to jump-hug her husband, and settled for placing a light kiss on his lips. He blushed green at the action but his lips were upturned in a Vulcan smile.

"It was really great to go back to Earth and spend some time with Thomas in Iowa. The place hasn't changed a bit; still as quiet as it always was. And we visited the roller skating rink that we used to visit as a family when we were children. Spock actually met someone there. Didn't you, love?" Amanda explained, turning towards Spock who was sitting on top of his suitcase, still gripping the bear.

"Yes father. I met a human boy at the roller skating rink and fell in love with him." Spock retorted, smiling fondly as images of Jim swam in his mind. Sarek tried to school his shocked expression into a Vulcan stoic mask.

"You fell in love with a human boy? A _human boy_?" Sarek said. Spock looked at his father, who was glaring at him angrily.

"How dare you degrade yourself in such a way? You ought to be ashamed of this traitorous love, rather than rejoicing in such illogical thoughts. Spock, you promised to follow the Vulcan way of life; you cannot give up everything you have worked towards because of some human boy you met." Sarek continued, seeing tears well in Spock's eyes as his mother wrapped her arm around the boy's shoulders.

"F-father. I love him. How can you be such a hypocrite? You married a human because you loved her." Spock stuttered out, taking a deep breath. Other vulcans at the space dock were staring at the altercation between him and his father.

Sarek shook his head and refused to look at his wife, who was glaring a lot.

"My choices are irrelevant to this situation, I did marry your mother, but I managed to carry out a Vulcan life style at the same time. You seem too wrapped up in this boy to focus on your life. And what about T'Pring? Did you forget the promise you made to her? She is your betrothed Spock! You cannot forsake everything here for some human!" Sarek spat angrily, gesturing with his hands. Spock trembled and let the tears fall finally.

"Sarek? How can you say these cruel things? He is your son and he has fallen in love. You should not condemn him for something he cannot control." Amanda said, walking between the father and son, frowning and pointing her finger in her husband's face.

The vulcans around them were frowning and gasping at the outbreak of emotions. Amanda didn't care.

"You know full well that if I hadn't agreed to come to this place with you then we would've broken up. Can't you see that this is the same for Spock? He wants to be with the person that he loves, and if that means having to leave his home then he will probably do it. Do you want to force him away?" She retorted as Sarek stood there, stunned, looking between his wife and son.

"He promised to live the Vulcan way, to marry T'Pring and go to the Vulcan Science Academy. He should put ambition before this foolish-

"It's not foolish Sarek. I've seen them together and they love each other." Amanda interrupted, throwing her arms up in frustration.

Neither of them noticed Spock pick up the teddy and rush away from them. He ran towards the row of phones that were lined up against the wall and punched Jim's number into the pad and picked up the receiver. He wiped the tears from his eyes and waited for the boy to pick up.

"Hello? Who is this?" Jim's voice rang out from the receiver. It made Spock calm down a little.

"Jim, I-It's Spock. I just wanted to hear your voice. M-my father has rejected my love for you. I thought that he would understand, I thought he would accept it."

Spock stuttered out, his breathing heavy and his voice trembling.

"Hey honey, what do you mean he rejected it? There's not a lot he can do about it. I mean, I love you and you love me, right?" Jim asked, uncertainty creeping into his voice. Spock opened his mouth to reply but was cut off when his father stormed towards him, an angry Amanda in tow.

"Spock, if you are contacting that heathen boy then you are idiotic. We are leaving now, and you can forget everything that happened on Earth. You will do as you are instructed by me from now on." Sarek said, grabbing hold of his son's wrist and wrestling the phone from him, slamming it down on the wall.

This left Jim shouting down the phone wondering what the hell was going on. He tried to redial but it wasn't working. It rang and then a member of staff answered and his heart plummeted.

"Sarek! You can't do this to him. He has every right to choose what he wants to do and who he wants to see. It is _illogical_ to force him into a life he doesn't want!" Amanda said to Sarek as they boarded the shuttle to go back to their home.

"It was a life that he chose; a meaningless fling on Earth should not change this fact. I am merely furthering his need to involve himself in a Vulcan life, which means he must attend the Vulcan Science Academy and marry T'Pring. There is no other option for him." Sarek replied in a monotone. Spock, who was sitting in the back seat, pulled the letter Jim had written for him from his suitcase and turned it over in his hands. He opened the envelope and noticed a second piece of paper within it, which he hadn't seen before. He quietly pulled it out, astounded by what he saw.

It was a Starfleet application form with a post-it note stuck to the front. He recognised the scrawl of Jim's writing and he smiled.

_Hey Spock,_

_I just thought you might want this if you decide against the Vulcan Science Academy, love from Jim x_

Spock folded the application up and returned it and the envelope to his suitcase, suddenly feeling a little bit happier with his unfortunate situation.

"Spock, you have to take another two exams to be accepted into the Vulcan Science Academy, I will arrange for you to take them as soon as possible. Also I will be removing the communicator from your room and making sure you have no way of contacting that _boy_." Sarek said coldly, turning his head slightly towards Spock.

"Yes father." Spock responded, nodding in acceptance.

Jim sat in his room, leaning against the headboard as tears welled in his eyes.

Spock had never answered him, never told him that he loved him back. He had hung up on Jim, without even a word.

Jim told himself that Spock was probably busy or had something more important to do. He knew it would be foolish to dwell on what it meant. But his brain was creating hundreds of scenarios, each as unpleasant as the last. He tried to dismiss the possibility that everything he'd had with Spock was a lie, that Spock just talked him into bed, and told him he loved him to get what he wanted.

He really hoped that Spock wasn't like all the others, the ones that poured their sugar-sweetness all over him and then laughed in success as he spread his legs and let it happen.

"Hey Jimmy, your friend's downstairs; that guy from the skating rink. He says he hasn't seen you in ages and wants to take you out. Are you alright, man?" Sam said, moving into Jim's room and sitting lightly on the bottom of the bed, placing a hand on his brother's knee.

"I'm fine, just thinking about Spock. Did you say Laz is here?" Jim looked at his brother and smiled weakly. Sam nodded and pulled his brother from the bed, wrapping an arm around his shoulders.

"You'll be ok, you know. It really does suck that Spock's flown back to his own planet and all that really unfortunate shit. But after a few weeks you'll have other stuff to think about, and it will just be something that happened that was really great for a while. I'm sorry it had to happen to you though, really not cool." Sam ruffled his brother's hair.

"Thanks Sam. He's just a hard guy to get over." Jim said, as he and his brother walked downstairs. Winona was in the kitchen busy making tea for everyone, she thrust a cup into both her son's hands and one to Laz, who was sitting at the table. She had just filled in Laz on the Spock-related events. Jim had heard the end of the conversation from the hallway, her sentence ending with, "and then he got on the shuttle and flew back to Vulcan, leaving our jimmy in tears; I just felt god awful for my baby boy."

Jim found that he didn't care that his mum had told his best friend about the situation; it would save him having to recall everything which would just make him upset anyway. As soon as Laz realised Jim had arrived in the room he jumped up and ran to hug his friend. Jim really needed that hug. He buried his head in the strong shoulder.

"Laz, I'm sorry I haven't seen you in ages, this thing with Spock just took over and turned my world upside down." Jim explained, blushing at being a crappy friend.

"No, dude, I totally get it; don't even worry about it. He was only here for a while, like a sailor on leave, so you had to make the most of it. I'm just worried about your emotional state rather than anything else. We should go out tonight, to that bar out past the cornfield. What do you say, buddy?" Laz asked, smiling at Jim and raising an eyebrow.

Jim ran upstairs dragging the other boy with him. He and Laz had been friends for four years. Laz had moved to Iowa from New York and had struck up a friendship with Jim when they had sat on the same table at lunch in the cafeteria. They found that they were both very similar and this meant they became close quickly. Laz had dark black hair that was short and spiky, with red highlights scattered through it. He was tall and skinny and had lots of tattoos, and piercings in his ears and his eyebrow and his nipples. He and Jim often worked together down at the roller-rink and never got much work done. He was a drinking buddy, a best friend, someone Jim trusted and could tell anything. He was awesome. And right at that moment Jim was so thankful he was in his house.

"It really doesn't matter what you wear, we're going to be drunk as hell soon." Laz said, giggling lightly and sitting himself on the edge of Jim's bed. He watched Jim remove the grey jumper he was wearing very slowly and gently, folding it and placing it on his desk, patting it and smiling fondly.

"What's with the jumper-love?" Laz asked, raising his eyebrow at Jim's behaviour.

Jim blushed lightly and looked into his friend's face.

"It's Spock's; he gave it to me before he left." The blonde-haired boy responded sadly, seating himself next to Laz and leaning his head on his shoulder. He felt Laz snake an arm around his shoulders and squeeze.

Laz kissed Jim's forehead and stood up, reaching into the closet and pulling out a big red hooded-jumper and threw it at Jim.

"Come on Jimmy! We're going out to get you so hideously drunk that you don't feel sad anymore, ok?" Laz announced, lifting Jim from the bed and pushing him towards the corridor. Jim nodded as he pulled the jumper over his head and proceeded to walk down the stairs.

They said goodbye to Sam and Winona and made their way to the closest store; they couldn't go to a bar or club as Jim was still only 17. So Jim waited in an alleyway across the street as Laz bought a bottle of Jack Daniel's and a bottle of Vodka.

"Come on kiddo, let's go drink these!" Laz said as he and Jim ran down the street towards the open fields. They steered into one of the fields and Jim found they were in the same place he and Spock had been in hours earlier.

The perfect place to drown his sorrows. So they sat in the centre of the same crop-circle and took turns swigging from the bottles, until they were suitably not-sober.

They staggered back to the farmhouse at 3am and fell into the sofa, laughing as quietly as possible, followed by them slurring to Ssh each other.

Spock sat at a desk in a room with five other Vulcan boys his age. He was completing the second entrance exam so he would be able to attend the Vulcan Science Academy. He was writing answer after answer with flare, knowing that it would be illogical to underplay his talents just to spite his father. It had been two weeks since he had returned to Vulcan and he was starting to see that he may as well focus on something productive, such as entering the Science Academy. Although he _had_ completed and sent off his Starfleet application a week previous. It was logical to cultivate multiple options.

Amanda was confused by Spock's ability to seemingly push all his feelings for Jim aside so easily. But it appeared that Sarek's mind couldn't be changed on the issue, and this made her feel powerless. She really wanted Spock to be happy, but she found that resigning herself to the fact that Spock would be going to the Science Academy and later marrying T'Pring was the only way to go.

So, Spock completed the tests as vigilantly as possible, knowing he didn't really have much choice in the matter. He walked out of the exam room when the time was up.

His father nodded to him as he walked into the living room of their house and sat himself down, reaching for a data PADD to read. The silent atmosphere that engulfed their relationship hung in the air was broken when Amanda walked into the room.

"Hey, love. Did the test go ok?" she asked, sitting herself next to Spock and patting his knee. He flinched at the contact, having realised recently that the open-ness that he has shown on Earth was not becoming of a Vulcan, and he should suppress his emotional needs for comfort. This caused Amanda to frown momentarily, but she removed her hand anyway.

"I believe I performed sufficiently enough to pass the test. I am merely glad that I no longer have to focus on what could have been with Jim. I must now focus on my future on Vulcan, where it always lay if I am being truthful. I was wrong to think otherwise. He has probably forgotten I exist anyway." Spock knew how much it hurt to talk of Jim, and to dismiss what they had had on earth for those glorious days. But he also knew that it was foolish to dwell on those days, he was on Vulcan and had no choice but to comply with his father's wishes, however much he did not agree with them.

Sarek looked over at them and nodded his approval. Spock, if true to himself, felt as if he had just wounded Jim's memory. As if he had just stabbed a large knife into Jim and twisted the blade. He wanted so much just to leave everything behind and return to Iowa, move in with Jim and his family and to be happy.

But that was a little emotional for him. He needed to repress and forget and move onwards, away from childish unobtainable fantasies. He had to focus on the Science Academy and becoming a scientist. He tried so hard to repress his inner battle, to hide his true desires from his apathetic father.

He leant back against the cushions of the sofa and sighed, feeling as though his mother was reading his thoughts. She knew that he loved Jim, and that he didn't really agree with everything Sarek wanted. But she also knew he had no choice.

"Ok then, if that's what you really want, baby. As long as you're happy." His mother answered. He felt those words ring through his mind. It wasn't what he really wanted and it would never make him happy. He nodded minutely and excused himself from the room, feeling claustrophobic and suffocated.

He walked into his bedroom and sat on the bed, letting himself think about Jim properly, for the first time since he's returned. The teddy bear and the woollen hat lay piled up in his wardrobe, the door was ajar so he could just about see a grey tassel and a flash of golden fluff.

He closed the wardrobe door and sat cross-legged in front of it on his mediation mat. He began to breathe slowly in through his nose and out through his mouth. After placing his elbows on his knees, he began driving all of his thoughts away and trying to process everything that had happened.

He had been in love and then suddenly it had been taken from him and replaced with a realistic destiny. Where he would remain on Vulcan and forget that his Jim had ever happened. Forget the fairground, forget the roller-rink, and forget the sex, and the kisses, the way Jim's skin felt against his own. Forget everything and change focus. Change focus. Change focus.

His resolve was melting away and he just wanted to get away from everything. To be completely alone and not have anyone to control him, or to tell him that emotion was negative, and repression was the best way. He wanted to have freedom to choose his own lifestyle, who to love, who to be with, what education to get. But he didn't have that, now that he had returned to his own planet he was caged, trapped in a small emotionless box for the rest of his days. The walls closing in around him as the straps of the straight-jacket were tightened and tightened.

He felt as if the meditation and thinking time had just fuelled his confused state, rather than cleared it. Feeling frustrated he removed everything except his boxer shorts and slipped into bed, closing his eyes and willing sleep to solve his problems.

Jim woke up on the sofa for what felt like the hundredth time in the last month. He had a screaming headache and his throat was feeling scratchy and dry. He, Sam, jack and Laz had gone out drinking the night before; drinking in the cornfield again as he was STILL 17. They had also snuck into the kitty-kat club and Jim may or may not have hooked up with 3 older guys, one of whom he may or may not have given a blowjob to. He'd been drunk enough to do it, but sober enough to remember the bitter taste in his mouth and the uncomfortable feeling of guilt twisting in his stomach.

He did feel bad for doing it, when he'd been crazy-in-love with Spock not long ago.

But the Vulcan hadn't even called him in a month; he had probably forgotten all about him and gone back to his normal life. Jim realised that calling Spock would be stupid, if he didn't want to talk to him then that was fine. Well it wasn't fine, but he could accept it as inevitable. The best way to accept something like that was to consume as much alcohol as possible, as often as possible, and to distract yourself.

Hence the kissing of the other guys. As Laz had rightfully said the night before:

"Get back in the game dude! That Vulcan kid is a million miles away and you're here. If he can't see how awesome you are then he's just stupid!" yes, it had come out slightly slurred, and Laz was sitting on the ground looking up at him through bleary eyes when he'd said it. But it was essentially right.

"He's not stupid actually; he's super smart." Jim had muttered, before pulling the guy he was dancing with in for a deep kiss, pushing a jean-clad knee between the other guy's thighs. Moments later Jim found himself on his knees and swallowing the familiar bitter liquid. He wobbled slightly while trying to stand up and ended up in the guy's lap, laughing nervously. Sam had pulled Jim away from him and onto the dance floor, where he returned to grinding up against Jack, who was blushing pink and making loud whooping noises along to the beat.

Twenty minutes later they had been thrown out, not because they found out he was underage, but because Laz had thrown up all over the boys bathroom. So they poured out, feeling the security guard staring at them as they collapsed in a giggling heap on the kerb. They had slowly walked home, Laz feeling a little shaky from vomiting, and ended up crashing in the living room as the stairs were a bit complex for their alcohol-addled minds.

So all in all it had been a great night; which attributed to the horrific hangover Jim felt. He opened his eyes slowly, realising that Laz's legs were strewn across his lap and that he wasn't wearing a shirt. He could also see Jack and Sam wrapped around each other in the arm chair to his left.

"Hey honey, so you're awake huh? I take it you had a good night?" Winona head appeared over his shoulder, he was so thankful that she was talking in a slow whisper.

"Yeah. It was great, thanks mum." Jim responded, his voice hoarse. She placed a warm mug of tea in his hands and ran her fingers through his hair.

"I love you, thanks." Jim murmured to her, as he took a sip and felt automatically better.

Laz awoke next to him, opening his eyes and looking confused for a second.

He wiped a hand over his face and smiled when he noticed Jim staring at him.

"Hey. You feeling better?" Jim asked quietly, holding his mug out for Laz to take a sip of tea from. Laz accepted it gratefully and nodded. He looked to see if Winona was in the vicinity, which she wasn't as she had disappeared upstairs, and then looked dead into Jim's face.

"I may have been drunk last night, Jimmy boy, but I do remember you sticking your tongue down a tonne of guys' throats, and I remember you being on your knees at some point. Seems like you got back in the game big style, huh?" Laz said to him in a half-whisper, smirking when he heard Jack chuckling lightly from across the room.

"Oh god! How many guys were there? I can remember the blowjob, but the rest is a little hazy." Jim replied, also whispering just in case his mum was close. Jack manoeuvred himself around the sleeping Sam and smiled.

"Well, there was the ginger guy with the blue skin, he was cute, and the dark haired guy dressed in leather, and the pale boy with blonde hair, he's the one you went down on. So, only three in total. Not bad for one night out. Seems you've got that Vulcan boy out of your system." Jack whispered back, kissing Sam's forehead as he awoke and hugged his prey tightly to him.

"Three guys? All in that one club? Oh jeez! I'm such a whore. Fuck!" Jim exclaimed, jumping up from the sofa and running upstairs into his room. He felt as though he had betrayed Spock. He had only just gotten over the fact that he had gone. And now he was kissing guys all over the place and getting on his knees for them!

Although, was he right to feel guilty, when Spock hadn't even given him a second thought for a month? Was it ok for him to be moving on? Was a month long enough?

Apparently it was long enough for Spock to forget him, so maybe he shouldn't worry. He sat on the bed and leant against the wall. The jumper that Spock had given him was placed on the top shelf of his cupboard. He flicked his eyes towards it and then frowned. Why the fuck shouldn't he enjoy himself? He could kiss other guys if he wanted to, and get on his knees for them, even fuck them if he felt like it. Where was the harm in a single guy sleeping with someone?

He made a resolution to himself as he sat alone in his room; he would make sure that he was happy, and if that meant getting his rocks off with some guy or other, then he found he was okay with that. If Spock was going to abandon him and forget him, then he would make up for his absence.

Sarek walked into the kitchen of his home, holding a letter in his hand that had just been delivered. He placed it on the table in front of his son. Amanda looked at it and saw the logo of the Vulcan Science Academy printed on the front. Spock picked it up and opened it slowly, fear settling in his stomach at what it might say.

He read it aloud as his parents stared at him in anticipation.

_Schn T'gai Spock,_

_The elders at the Vulcan Science Academy have overseen your exam results and analysed your personality traits to decide whether you will be accepted into the academy or not. You should attend the academy on the 24__th__ of November to hear our judgements of you, and the decision we have made regarding your admission._

_Yours sincerely_

_Sangor T'almanok,_

_Head Elder of the Vulcan Science Academy_

Spock looked up from the letter and felt his mother's hand on his shoulder. Sarek merely nodded once and walked out of the kitchen.

"The 24th? That's in a week. It's kind of exciting, that. My son a scientist at the Vulcan academy!" Amanda commented, reading the letter over his shoulder. He appreciated her encouragement, although he could hear the forced tone of her voice. He knew that she didn't agree with him obeying his father's wishes; she wanted him to be free to choose his own life, and to be happy. But he appreciated the sentiment all the same.

"You are hereby accepted to the Vulcan Science Academy. It is truly remarkable, Spock, that you have achieved so much. Despite your disadvantage." The head Vulcan elder said with an air of finality, standing in his high seat above Spock.

Spock frowned at the latter half of the sentence. disadvantage? How was he at a disadvantage?

"If you would clarify, Minister. To what disadvantage are you referring?" Spock asked, his eyebrows still knitted together in a frown. He looked up at the elder and then across to his father, who was sitting on the elder's left side. 

"Your human mother." The elder replied nonchalantly, as though this comment would not offend Spock. He flinched and felt his insides bubbling with anger. he also felt anger towards his father for allowing the elder to talk about his wife, spock's mother, as a disadvantage.

"Council... Ministers, I must decline." Spock replied calmly, thankful that he had been taught to repress emotion, or he would have been shouting his reply and attempting to reach the elders to punish them for their harmful comments.

"No Vulcan has ever declined admission to this academy!" the elder responded, glaring down at Spock as his father stilled his face back to a stoic mask.

"Then as I am half-human, your record remains untarnished." Spock responded, knowing that he didn't really care about logic anymore, or offending the elders.

"Spock, you have made a commitment to honour the Vulcan way." His father spoke up, looking at him sternly, trying to frighten him. But Spock would not allow himself to be controlled by his father any longer. He shook his head minutely.

"Why did you come before this council today? Was it to satisfy your emotional need to rebel?" The head elder continued, wanting to see Spock's logic fail him, to prove that his human mother was going to cause him to show emotion or humiliate him in front of the council. But Spock wouldn't want to give him the satisfaction. He took a deep breath.

"The only emotion I wish to convey is gratitude. Thank you, Ministers, for your consideration." Spock replied coolly, nodding his thanks. He raised his hand in a Vulcan salute.

"Live long and prosper." Spock finished and walked out of the room and straight out into the warm air. He felt freer than he had since being on earth with Jim.

He made his way home quickly and greeted his mother there. She asked about the meeting and he told her what had happened. She sat down, shocked that her baby son had stood up to the Vulcan elders, who she already knew to be prejudiced and old-fashioned. She also felt a twinge of pride at his rebellion though.

"So when are you going to Earth then? Now that the Science Academy is off the cards you can go and be in Starfleet, right?" Amanda asked, placing his acceptance letter from Starfleet, which had arrived while he was out, on the table in front of him.

He skim read the letter and stood up and wrapped his arms around his mother. She was shocked at first but melted into the hug after a second or two.

"You would find it acceptable for me to join Starfleet and move to Earth?" Spock asked as he pulled back. Amanda nodded, placing a kiss on his cheek.

"I know it's what you really want to do, love. So yeah I think it's a great idea. Although I would miss you, I think it's the best thing." she replied, smiling warmly.

"Thank you mother. The fact that you support my decision has given me confidence. I will need to re-pack my clothes, and secure a shuttle ticket to earth." Amanda looked sheepish at this. Spock raised a dark eyebrow at this.

"I, um…I hope you don't mind but I already got you a ticket earlier, the shuttle's due to arrive across the street in half an hour. I just assumed that you would want to go sharpish before Sarek-

Before she could finish her sentence the door opened to reveal Sarek standing there, looking angry and dejected. Spock continued up the staircase quickly and disappeared along the hallway. He did not want to see his father.

"Spock, I wish to speak with you." He called up the stairs.

"Then come into my room, I have something I need to do here." Spock responded, feeling energized by his new found freedom.

Sarek raised an eyebrow but complied with his son's request.

"I cannot believe that you declined your place at the academy. It is everything you have wanted since you were a child." Sarek said calmly, frowning as he watched his son removing all of his belongings from their places and placing them in an open suitcase on the bed.

"No father it is everything _you _have wanted for me since I was a child. I always struggled with coming to terms with my mixed parentage. And I always thought that you were proud of my mother. Yet you sat there and let the elder refer to her as a disadvantage. You may not be able to stand up for what you know is right, but I can. I am leaving this planet to pursue a career in Starfleet. I do not need your permission or blessings as I am an adult and have the right to choose for myself." Spock said, not stopping to look at his father.

Sarek grasped his wrists and forced him to look into his face. Pure hatred blossomed in Spock's eyes as Sarek stared at his son. The venomous look he received from Spock caused Sarek to release him and leave the room.

Spock grasped the last things from the bottom of the wardrobe; the teddy bear and the hat Jim had given him, and placed them in his suitcase, zipping it closed and lifted it from his bed. He took one last look at his now-cleared-out room and walked downstairs. His father was sitting at the table in the kitchen. Spock looked around the house and then his mother was hugging him tightly, crying into his shoulder.

"Mother, I will contact you as soon as I arrive on Earth. I love you. Thank you for everything you have done for me. I'm sorry that I have to leave you here." He hugged her back, feeling a lump form in his throat. Then she nodded her head and pulled back slowly. She placed a hand on his cheek and kissed his forehead.

"Goodbye my son. I love you too. Have a great time, baby. Study hard and make your momma proud, okay?" she gushed, as she turned him around and pointed to the shuttle that was waiting down the street. He left the house and dragged his suitcase to the door. He mounted the shuttle and stared at his mother who was standing on the doorstep, waving and smiling at him.

He also saw his father's face appear in the window, watching as the shuttle pulled away and flew up into the sky. He took a deep breath and let his lips twitch in a smile. He finally had the freedom he had wanted all of his life. He had been taught to repress and reject emotion. But now he was unrestrained. He could finally live his life. And really _live_ it.

**Ok, another super-long chapter sorry**

**Just needed to get it out there so I can write Starfleet-spock**

**Jim is being all destructive and insecure, but there's no Spock to hug him and make it better anymore **

**The Jack I talk about later on is Jack Rawlings who came up in the fairground chapter (in case you are confused)**

**And Laz is someone I made up (an OC) he isn't based on anyone in particular. Just thought Jim needed a friend other than his family, to go and drown his sorrows with. And I had mentioned him in the first chapter vaguely so yeah.**

**Hope it's ok x**


	9. Chapter 9

**Roller-skating? How illogical **

**Chapter 9 **

Spock stirred from his slumber and looked around the shuttle. His bag was placed in the hold above his head and the blanket that he had wrapped around himself had fallen onto the floor. Looking out of the window of the shuttle and noticed that the shuttle was about to land in San Francisco space-dock. He collected his bags from the hold and waited until it landed.

He paid the driver generously and thanked him. the trip had taken three days. His legs were aching from staying still for so long. Most of the time he had spent reading and sleeping and thinking everything over. He could not contact anyone as the communicator was broken. So he just had to wait. But he had finally arrived at his destination. He checked the suitcase's contents one more time and then left the shuttle.

He stepped out and looked around him the sun was low in the sky and there were a few clouds scattered around. He saw two birds flying together soaring on the cool breeze. This place was different to Vulcan. But that he had to get used to slowly. It had taken minutes for Spock to realise Iowa was a place of beauty and silence. San Francisco was busier, louder and a lot more populated. If he were to allow himself to be ruled by emotion, spock would say that he felt claustrophobic and afraid of the new surroundings. From where he stood with his suitcase he could see endless reams of people making their way around. He was a whole world away from Iowa, and Vulcan. He took a deep breath and lifted his bag.

Spock made his way from the dock to the Starfleet accommodation. He would be staying in a room on a corridor with five other cadets. He went to the reception, collected his key and made his way to the room (number 24A). Once he had dragged his suitcase up 3 flights of stairs, and walked along various corridors, he found the right place. He unlocked it and placed his suitcase at the foot of the bed. He could hear other students milling around outside, shouting raucously or playing music. He lay back on the bed and closed his eyes, feeling nervous and apprehensive about studying on Earth. He forced himself to get up and call his mother, as he promised he would do.

He opened up the communicator and punched his home number into it, waiting patiently for her to answer.

"Hello? Spock, is that you?" Amanda asked, not recognising the number.

"Yes, mother. I was just calling to inform you of my safe arrival on Earth." Spock said curtly.

"That's great honey! What's it like there in San Francisco? Is your room nice? Met any new friends? How was the trip?" Amanda bombarded her son with questions about his new surroundings. She'd lived in America for most of her life, but she had never travelled very far from Iowa, and San Francisco was very different from the quiet state that she had called home.

"It is a pleasant-enough place; the weather is cold and windy here. I will be forced to wear my woollen jumpers that you knitted for me, just to keep warm. I have not met any new people yet, as I have only just arrived in my accommodation building. The trip on the shuttle-craft was most uneventful; I even managed to sleep for some of the journey." Spock responded to each of her questions in turn.

"Oh right, that's ok then. I'm sure once you've settled in you will be fine. I'm always available to talk if you wish to speak with someone, baby. Your father and I have been discussing your decision to leave." Amanda answered, her expression becoming suddenly serious at the mention of Sarek.

"What has he said on the matter?" Spock asked, tensing up as he heard his mother talk about him. He heard Amanda sigh on the other end of the phone, and could tell that the conversation had been a long and complex one.

"well, I explained to him that your experiences on Earth had changed the way you viewed your future; and seeing the amount of freedom others had you could not understand why your choices should be constricted, when humans can do what the hell they want because they want to." Amanda said, thinking back to the conversation.

"Yes, that would be a correct interpretation of my thoughts." Spock confirmed, nodding slightly.

"He couldn't really understand how you could change your mind so quickly, after saying you would attend the Science Academy and marry T'Pring. But I know that you never really intended to do all that, did you?" she asked, and Spock knew that he would be greeted with a knowing eyebrow raise if they had been talking face to face.

"After returning to vulcan I had resigned myself to the fact that I would never see Jim again, or even have the chance, being on a planet light years away from him. But then I found that he had placed a Starfleet application form in with the letter he had sent me while we were on Earth. He had mentioned it to me when we were talking of the future, but I had pushed it from my mind completely. I would not be truly happy if I had attended the academy and married a woman I had never met or spoken to."

Spock answered truthfully. He could tell his mother anything and not feel anxious about her judgement.

"So you filled out the application form for Starfleet and then went along with your father's plans, as a decoy? To keep him from attacking what you really wanted?" Amanda surmised quickly, a hint of pride seeping through her voice on the other end of the phone.

"Yes, I believe that is correct. I really wanted to return to Earth and to study what I wanted, because I could have the choice and freedom to be able to do so." Spock thought over everything in his head. Everything was slotting into place, except for the Jim situation; that still needed to be rectified.

"So, now you are on Earth all happy and fulfilled with your decision, the first holiday you get you can travel to Iowa, ride in on a noble steed and woo your prince? Carry him off into the sunset with you and live happily ever after?" Amanda said, chuckling lightly. Apparently Spock really was _that_ transparent.

Although Amanda's odd choice of fairytale clichéd ideas confused him slightly.

"Mother, are you using this fairytale analogy to talk about Jim? I do not believe he would want to be 'wooed and carried off into the sunset' as you put it. He probably feels as though I have abandoned him, I have had no contact with him for months and months. I would not blame him if he had forgotten me." Spock frowned at this admission. For all Jim knew he had been abandoned by the boy who promised never to forget him.

"Oh, honey. You can't think like that. And besides, now you are on Earth you can contact him and explain everything. He'll understand, you know he will. If he loves you as much as he said he did then he'll understand. Spock, you should attempt to see him at least. If only to let him know how you still feel for him. Just hop on a shuttle and make your way to him as soon as you get the chance. He deserves to know the truth." Amanda insisted, really wanting her son to be happy with his new Earth-life.

"Mother, your perceptiveness of my true feelings never fails to astound me. I appreciate your guidance in this matter and I will endeavour to visit Jim in Iowa as soon as possible. I feel I should not contact him prior to this meeting, as what I wish to say to him cannot be given justice over the communicator. Thank you for your help. I love you very much, and apologise for the upheaval my move to Earth may have caused. I only wish for your happiness." Spock replied, wishing he could hug his mother and breathe in her perfume and feel relaxed instantly, as he usually did in her presence.

"Okay then, play it how you want to play it with Jim, but step carefully as it's probably still a bit raw for him. your move hasn't cause any 'upheaval' baby, a few discussions with your father about you growing up and having your own thoughts and wanting to make your own decisions (contrary to what he thinks), but they have been necessary for years, and we have avoided them as they have not arisen before now. I am proud that you found the courage to follow your own path. As always I am proud of you whatever decisions you make in life. As long as you're happy, I can sleep at night." Amanda cooed down the line.

She felt that Spock had made the right choice doing what he loved, and becoming closer to the person that he loved at the same time. Iowa was just a shuttle trip away and maybe everything could be sorted out for Spock; that was all she wanted for him. And for Sarek to be forced to accept that their grown up son was no longer a five year old child who took everything the Vulcan said as true? That was also an upside to Spock joining Starfleet. Although she already missed having Spock around, she felt it was the best thing for everyone.

"Thank you, mother. I'm glad my decision to leave has not upset you. I believed it was best to avoid the prejudices that exist on Vulcan, and to be accepted for my different heritage, rather than condemned for it. I hope father can eventually understand why I had to leave." Spock frowned, thinking of his father disapproving of him.

"Oh, I think he does understand really; he's just jealous that he didn't have your courage when he was your age. He didn't think to rebel against the choices placed in his path as you have done. He understands deep down. I'll just have to keep persuading him, I've got my ways of making him do things he doesn't want to do." He heard giggling down the phone, and Spock decided he did not want to know what these ways were. He knew for a fact that ever allowing them to cross his mind would scar him for eternity. To even think of his parents in _that way_ was never a good route to take. He shuddered at the thought.

"Oh and by the way I'm perceptive of your emotions regarding Jim as they became glaringly obvious from the first time I saw you together at the skating rink. You acted more impulsively and more human those few days on Earth, than I have ever seen you act before. And I thought it was amazing that you let your guard down like that! You should definitely do that more often. And if it's Jim that makes you act like that? Well, then he's definitely a keeper." Amanda responded, realising that the previous sexually-charged comment had drawn Spock into silence.

"A 'keeper'? What is a 'keeper', mother? I am unfamiliar with this term. Does it mean that you approve or disapprove of the way Jim causes me to indulge my human heritage?" Spock asked, trying to dissect the odd word his mother had used.

"It means that he's someone you should keep around, someone who's good for you. Jim is definitely a keeper. It's also a player in Quidditch from Harry Potter; this really old terran book series Thomas and I used to read when we were children, but I didn't mean it in that way." Amanda explained.

"Well, I will have to wait and see whether Jim sees me as a 'keeper' or not, after the lack of contact I have had with him recently. Thank you for your advice mother, I will talk to you soon. I love you, goodbye." Spock answered, thinking over when he would be able to visit Jim, and what he would say to him. It wasn't like he hadn't _wanted_ to contact Jim, but his father had prevented him from using the communicator, or having access to anything in which to contact the human.

"Bye honey, it was really good to speak to you. I hope you have a great time in Starfleet and meet lots of new people. And maybe sort things out with your prince charming at some point as well? I love you too. Bye now. Goodbye." Amanda said and then Spock hung up the phone.

It wasn't like he had abandoned him or rejected him. He just hoped that Jim would understand.

Spock attended his classes: human biology, chemistry, physics, linguistics, mathematics and alien biology, and quickly found that he was more than sufficient when in a learning environment. His logical way of thinking, though making him mediocre on his home planet, caused him to excel in Starfleet.

He enjoyed learning at the academy; the diversity made him content and the work was challenging. He had made a few acquaintances with others who lived in his accommodation and who studied the same modules and course as him.

Spock worked a multitude of jobs on the campus; he re-shelved books twice a week in the library, he worked as a tutor for students who had come to the academy younger than others (child-geniuses and prodigies with remarkable talents) and he also worked shifts at the campus book shop, giving advice on the best books. He also was part of various societies - from course-based ones, to ones related to culture and language and interests. He helped run a crash course in linguistics, with the help of a couple lecturers and some fellow linguistics students.

He achieved high grades in all of his lecture assignments, and a few lecturers had even suggested that, after his initial learning, he should try to get onto the professor course that ran at the academy. This made his confidence in his abilities soar, and he kept the idea in mind; previously in his life, listening to someone who cared about you and suggested something you hadn't previously thought about, sometimes worked out for the best. He had joined Starfleet because Jim had mentioned it in passing, surely becoming a professor there wouldn't be so bad?

Although throughout his first semester he could not stop the niggling thought at the back of his head that reminded him that the reason he was here was because of Jim. He'd stood up to his father because Jim had given him confidence. Part of the reason he was in San Francisco, other than Starfleet, was because it was on the same planet as Jim.

Yet he couldn't bring himself to go and visit him? It was just a shuttle-trip away. Yet he was scared. He knew how sensitive and insecure Jim was. The human probably thought Spock had abandoned him, or lied to him, or used him and then left him high and dry. And he was also scared, not only of what Jim was thinking, but of what his family probably thought of him too. They were close-knit, and cared about Jim a lot; which probably meant that they hated him, that they would happily attack him if he went near Jim. Not that Jim would want to see him anyway. All the love in the world couldn't fix a broken heart. Spock felt a crushing guilt for not contacting Jim, for not acknowledging him.

He kept telling himself that he was too busy to visit Iowa, too bogged down with work and commitments to make the trip. But really it was fear. The all-encompassing emotion of fear. He felt as a Vulcan he should be able to overcome such a petty emotion as fear and make the decision to visit the boy he'd fallen in love with all those months ago.

So, by the last week of the second semester he had booked a shuttle ticket to Iowa space dock and was all packed up to go and visit Jim. The reception he would get when he arrived? He was unsure on that. But he just knew that it was something he had to do. If he could only look into those blue eyes again, or even get a glimpse of Jim, then it would not be a wasted journey.

Standing in the space dock Spock felt his stomach turning over and over. He was afraid of how Jim would react to his arrival. What would Spock say to him? What would happen when they finally met? He lifted his bag onto the shuttle and settled into the seat, images of Jim flowing around his mind.

He crossed his legs, and leant his head back against the head rest, slowly closing his eyes listening to the hum of the engine as it took off towards Iowa. The trip would take a few hours, so he allowed himself to fall asleep. Staying awake worrying would be illogical and foolish.

When Spock arrived in Iowa it was dark out, the shuttle landed in the dock and slowed to a stop. He lifted his bag and stepped into the night, after paying the shuttle driver.

Spock began to walk down one of the streets towards the bright lights of the bars and clubs. He didn't really know where he was going or where Jim's house was in relation to this place. He was standing in a large square, a mixture of bars and clubs and establishments on either side of him.

He stared at the glaring bright lights and listened to the pumping music emitted. He made a random selection and walked into the nearest bar. He pulled his hood up and walked swiftly through the door. The place was dark and neon lights flashed around the dance floor. The Vulcan made his way across the floor, attempting to avoid contact with others. He ordered a glass of water and sat himself in a booth. He wasn't sure Jim was there, but then he heard it. Jim's voice.

Jim was rocking up and down in an older man's lap, riding his cock hard as his eyes rolled into his head and the man moaned loudly. He could feel sharp fingernails clawing at his shoulder blades, forcing him down harder and harder. As he felt the man come inside him, Jim un-straddled his lap, wincing in pain.

"Thanks darling, that was real good. Here's the money I promised you; One hundred and fifty. I normally only pay guys like you one hundred, but you're extra cute." The man slurred in Jim's ear, thrusting the money into his shaking hands.

"Th-thanks." Jim replied, as the man swaggered out of the club. He felt someone turn him around forcefully and push him against the wall.

"Jimmy! What the fuck do you think you're doing?" Laz asked, outraged by what he had just seen. Jim's head swam, he had already had quite a lot to drink, and Laz's voice was harsh and loud to his ears.

"I just got a tonne of money and I got to have sex, what's the big deal?" he responded. Laz placed his hands on either sides of Jim's face and forced him to look at him.

"No, Jim. You just prostituted yourself for some random horny guy! You just sold your body for a bit of money. How are you okay with that?" Laz's voice rose slightly as he tried to get Jim to understand.

"Yeah I guess I did. But it's not like it matters anyway. I'm drunk, and I'm feeling buzzed, I got to get my rocks off with a hot older guy, and I got one hundred and fifty bucks for my trouble." Jim replied, ordering a drink from the bar and swigging it down in a second. Laz shook his head at him, but steered his drunken friend into one of the booths, where Sam was already sitting.

"Do you not give a crap anymore? Since that Vulcan boy left you've just gone crazy, Jim! Getting drunk all the time, having tonnes of sex with anyone that's willing. I know you're just enjoying yourself, but you have to slow down a bit." Laz placed a hand on his friends shoulder and looked at him with worried eyes.

"Well, I don't know Laz. I mean why does it matter anyway? I'm young free and single. Everyone who I fall in love with just fucks my brains out then runs away as soon as possible. So why shouldn't I have a bit of meaningless, impersonal guiltless sex? And why shouldn't I drink myself into oblivion to block out the pain of rejection?" Jim spoke quietly, running a hand through his hair as his head started to hurt from his activities.

Every day Jim woke up with a hangover and dragged himself to the roller skating rink to work for a few hours. Luckily it wasn't a taxing job, just tidying and sweeping and dispersing skates to customers. He managed to paint a fake smile on his face as he greeted the families and couples.

He would go out with Sam and Jack and Laz to the clubs and ever since Jim had turned 18 (three weeks ago) he had not stopped taking advantage of it. He thanked God that whoever the hell government member had decided that 21 wasn't the drinking age any longer, about a century ago. 18 made so much more sense. Well Jim was thankful that it meant he could drink as much as he wanted and look for guys to fuck the spock-related memories out of his head.

He had come to the conclusion that Spock had given up on him. He'd not tried to contact him at all since that one phone call that was cut off. And if Spock wasn't going to make the effort then why should he, right? He was all those miles and miles away on his own planet, and Jim was left all alone to deal with it.

So he decided that Spock had abandoned him and that meant he had free reign to deal with it as much as he wanted. And deal with it he did.

Since Spock had left (10 months had passed since that depressing day) Jim had slept with twenty men and kissed a lot more. It wasn't that Jim bothered; it was Laz who was keeping count of the sex toll. He often expressed that he was very worried about Jim's indulgent behaviour. Jim often brushed off these concerns, saying that it didn't matter and that he liked what he was doing. It was obvious to Laz (and Sam and Winona) that Jim was just overcompensating with his body to make up for being always left behind. Jim knew it too, but it just felt so good to forget about everything and throw caution to the wind.

So he was sitting in the booth with Laz rubbing his shoulder gently. He could feel tears pooling in his eyes as he leaned back against the leather seat cushions. Little did he know that Spock, the object of his constant train of thought, was sitting in the booth next to theirs, his heart breaking as he heard Jim talking.

The Vulcan hated the way Jim's voice was shaking, and that he had given up so easily. He wanted to be the one comforting the blonde, to be wiping away the tears and kissing his pain away. But he couldn't bring himself to move or stand. He pulled the hood higher over his head, to hide his face from the others in the club.

He looked up to see Sam standing in front of him. Spock tried to not look at the sandy haired boy.

"I wasn't sure it was you at first. But then I noticed the ears as you came in the doorway pulling your hood up." Sam commented quietly, watching as Jim and Laz made their way to the bathroom. Laz asked for a glass of water and handed it to Jim, as he pushed his way through the door.

"I don't know what you're doing here, Spock, but if you're even thinking of letting Jim know you're here then you can think again. You left him and then didn't call for the best part of a year. And then you, what? Started feeling a bit shitty about your abandonment and came here to make amends?" Sam threw his hands up in question as Spock felt himself blushing.

"Sam, if I could only explain to Jim-

"There will be no "explaining" to Jim, you understand that? I'm not going to let you anywhere near him. You've already hurt him once and I'm not going to let it happen again." Sam paused, watching the bathroom door to make sure Jim wasn't going to emerge any time soon.

Spock wanted to blurt out that he felt bad for not contacting Jim. He wanted desperately to make his case to the human, to tell him about his father taking his communicator, and about Starfleet. But he knew this would be illogical. Humans were loyal to their kin, and they protected them from danger. Sam obviously saw Spock's return as a threat and a danger to Jim. There was no leeway for Spock to manoeuvre. He was no going to be able to talk to Jim. While he _had_ caught a glance of the blonde haired beauty he had once loved, it was bitter and painful and he felt shame and guilt rather than love.

"When I leave this table you're gonna get your stuff and take yourself to a hotel out past the cornfields. You aren't going to try to find our house, or try to talk to Jim, you get that? I love my little brother, and it's my job to make sure he's doing ok. And you being back here is just going to mess him up all over again. Just understand that he's moved on because he had to. I suggest you go back to wherever you came from and forget about this place. Forget about jim." Sam finished, nodding with an air of finality. He moved from the booth and walked away, leaving Spock sitting there feeling helpless. But Sam was right. Spock had to leave.

The Vulcan pulled his hood up and looked back towards the bathroom. Just as he turned away towards the exit, Jim and Laz came out of the bathroom and stumbled back into the booth. Sam looked pointedly at Spock and nodded, watching him make his way across the floor and out into the night.

**Ok I'd first like to thank melodie4894 for her help with the storyline again :) she is awesome for helping me out all the time; lots of cookies and stuff for her**

**Another long chapter where not a lot really happens; sorry about that.**

**Spock at the academy - not too much detail as I confess that I don't know a lot about Starfleet academy - other than Chris pine looks hot in the red uniform and Zach Quinto looks hot in the black professor uniform :)**

**Jim being continually destructive and sexual…bit of stranger/jim smut in this one too (which I don't like writing…it should be kirk/spock or kirk/no-one imho)**

**Sam being the protective big bro and telling Spock to 'back the hell off!' Oh the endless things keeping our boys apart!**

**Just another transition/explanation chapter really**

**Hopefully the time-passing wasn't too clunky and unrealistic. I had to move Spock on in the academy as he would've already been there a couple years before Jim joined, if he was already a professor.**

**Hopefully this chap is ok.**

**Quite a lot of dialogue and explanation of thoughts.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**Just to let you know, I'm being selective about Starfleet academy stuff - this story will be dull and super-long if I stay true to the movie-canon of Spock already having been at the academy for FOUR WHOLE YEARS before Jim joins up. **

**So I was thinking that I could speed it along a bit, and make Spock an instructor (or whatever) by the middle of his second year. I mean Starfleet is kind of a cross between the military and university so he could get ahead a bit quicker…if anyone has objections about the fact that I'm playing around with details then I'm sorry.**

**I just really didn't want to write epically long Jim-less 'spock at the academy' chapters. Plus I don't really know much about the academy anyway - so they would be crappy and annoying to trawl through just to get to the jim/spock goodness later on. **

**Also, bit of Uhura-bashing in this chapter - spock likes jim and boys…not Uhura…and he's too polite to tell her to leave him alone and that he is gay **

**Sorry for any Uhura/Spock lovers…but they don't figure as a couple in this story**

Spock walked along the road away from the club and away from Jim. He really did not expect his trip to Iowa to turn out this way. He wanted to at least talk to Jim, just to get a chance to explain. But Sam had made sure that he couldn't even see Jim, let alone talk to him.

He sat on the kerb when he felt he was far enough away, sighing in defeat. He rested his elbows on his knees and stared at the ground. He had had a wasted journey, and had come to the conclusion that perhaps he and Jim were just not going to get any chances to reunite. Sam had forbid him from seeing Jim, and Spock knew that he should respect that. So that meant returning to the academy, all hope of a reunion lost.

His 'prince charming', as his mother had called him, was perpetually off limits. The riding up on a steed and marrying and riding into the sunset was off the cards.

"Spock? Is that you?" He was shaken from his miserable reverie by the familiar voice. It was his uncle Thomas, who was staring at him and smiling.

"Uncle?" Spock responded after pushing his Jim-related thoughts aside. Where they belonged - not thought about.

"Hey buddy, what brings you to Iowa? Perhaps a certain blonde-haired blue eyed someone?" Thomas replied, sitting himself next to Spock, looking at him knowingly.

Spock just resigned himself to nodding, knowing that Thomas already knew the answer.

"You made the correct assumption about my venture here. Although, it did not go as planned. I have come to the somewhat painful conclusion that the relationship between Jim and I is…not to be." Spock spoke stoically and calmly, knowing that it was pointless to deny the evident truth. Anything that could have been, was now gone, and this would allow him time to focus on education and becoming the best he could within Starfleet.

Thomas sighed next to him, wrapping an arm around the younger's shoulders and squeezing lightly.

"That's real unfortunate, Spock; he seemed like a really sweet kid. When are you planning on returning to San Francisco? And yes, I have been filled in on everything that happened with your father and the science academy" Thomas chuckled, waiting for Spock's answer.

"Mother told you? I expected as much. I was planning on returning tomorrow lunch time. Would it be completely disrespectful of me to ask to stay in your guest room until then?" Spock broached carefully looking into his uncle's warm brown eyes.

"Of course not, I was going to suggest as much anyway. I wouldn't have you staying in any hotel. Come on, let's go and have some tea and a chat. You have to tell me all about your new life here." the human smiled and stood from the kerb, nodding in the direction of his house. Spock stood slowly and followed his uncle towards the house. It was a short walk away, and Spock was happy that he was not being badgered with questions.

Within minutes of arriving at the small house Spock found himself sitting on the sofa with a cup of tea clamped in his hands. Thomas was sitting in the armchair to his left, smiling slightly.

"How are you finding Starfleet?" Thomas broached, taking a sip from his cup and fixing Spock with a warm stare.

"It is most enlightening, thank you. The change in teaching methods in comparison to Vulcan is…refreshing. I feel as if I am less constrained here." Spock explained, looking around the living room and remembering when he and Jim had visited there. They had been sitting on the sofa entwined, and Jim had hugged him in the entry hall, and they had made cookies in the kitchen. These memories were painful to think about, as he could tell from Sam's frosty reception that there was little chance of Jim being together with him once more.

"So, are you going to tell me what happened back there? Or am I going to have to guess?" Thomas spoke into the silence, after watching Spock looking around with a slight frown on his face. He didn't like to see his nephew upset and he had learnt to read Vulcan facial expressions, and he knew that the boy's brain was working overtime thinking about everything that had happened.

"To what are you referring?" Spock asked, feigning ignorance. This was met with a raised eyebrow from his uncle.

"You went into a bar, I saw you come out of it with your hood pulled up a while later. I was getting some groceries from the store and you were going in when I went into the store, and then you were on the kerb when I came back out. So, what happened in there?" Thomas was not going to let it go, and he knew that something had happened.

Spock looked up at him, nodding apologetically.

"Yes, I did visit a bar. I had not intended to do anything other than get a beverage - to perhaps instil some courage for when I would visit Jim at his mother's house later. But it so happened that Jim and his brother were drinking in the bar at the same time as myself." Spock talked quietly, staring into the teacup that was still between his hands, watching the liquid resolutely.

"Jim was there? Did you talk to him?" Thomas blurted out, leaning forward to enable himself to hear the response better.

"I did not talk to him. I had intended to after I had realised it was him. but his brother would not permit me, he said that I had hurt jim enough by not contacting him while I had been on vulcan, and that it would be better if jim didn't know I was here on Earth. He would not let me have the chance to explain the circumstances or reasons for my inability to contact his brother. As the terran phrase says 'I could not get a word in edge-ways'." Spock frowned at this point; Thomas just opened and closed his mouth for a few moments.

"He wouldn't let you talk to him? If Jim knew what your father had done I'm sure he would understand the contact kerfuffle. I can't believe his brother acted like that! And after you came all this way to see Jim!" Thomas placed his empty tea cup on the table and sighed, frowning too.

"I can understand his reaction, for someone who is unaware of what my father did it would seem that I had used Jim when I was here, allowed him to fall in love with me, and then I severed ties with him as soon as I had acquired all I could from him. Of course this is not true, but to a bystander it could look this way. And I know for a fact that his family are very protective of him, and will form ranks against those who threaten Jim. It is most unfortunate that I could not defend my actions." Spock replied diplomatically, slightly shocked at the fact that he had come to terms with the situation so quickly.

It was only logical to learn from the events and to move on, not to focus and worry about what could have been said or done. What had happened could not be undone or changed; merely the ramifications can be dealt with, assessed and then forgotten.

Spock had other things to focus on, such as a new project that one of his professors had set; the creation of a training simulation that could be used for new cadets coming to Starfleet. The title of it swam within Spock's brain - "The Kobayashi Maru" he had to work around this slightly ambiguous title to create said programme. At least this freedom from the one he loved - no, not loved…had loved (past tense made it painful but it was necessary) allowed him time to think about this project.

"I'm sorry that it didn't work out for you, Spock. Maybe you could try again another time? Or give Jim a call and explain what happened?" Thomas suggested, patting his nephew on the shoulder. Spock yawned widely in a most un-vulcan fashion, squeezing his eyes tight shut and running a hand across his face. He felt exhausted by the travelling and the encounter at the bar.

"I do not feel that would be a wise decision, Thomas. If Sam believes I should detach myself from Jim, and he knows his brother better than I do, then I shall acquiesce to his request. Besides it will allow me to focus on my academy work." Spock replied, his voice cold and serious. A detachment was evident in his very attitude that his father would be proud of. This made him cringe inwardly.

"Well, if that's what you think then I'm not going to argue with you. There's been a bundle of unfortunate circumstances hanging over your and Jim's relationship from the start. Quite sad really, as I've never seen you as happy as you were that week." He patted Spock's arm once more and stood from the chair, disappearing into the hall to fetch some blankets and a sleeping bag from the linen closet. He placed them on the sofa next to Spock and placed a kiss on his nephew's forehead, seeing the look in the boy's eyes that told him his mind was reeling through a lot of difficult memories.

"G'night Spock, I'll see you in the morning." Thomas murmured, smiling gently and plodding up the stairs towards his bedroom. Spock removed his boots and jacket, and slipped into the sleeping bag, he curled up into the sofa and let his eyes fall closed.

Jim held the glass of water between his fingers, his head thumping painfully as Laz stirred in his sleep inches away. Ok, so drinking a hell of a lot and fucking total strangers…for money? Not the best idea. There was sleeping with people, who you'd had a conversation with and knew a little bit about. That kind of hook-up was fine. But having sex for money? That was definitely a new low for him. The memory of the prostituting had come back to him about twenty minutes ago, when he had awoken from his sleep and plodded to the kitchen.

He knew he'd had sex with someone because it hurt when he walked. And not an I-just-had-the-best-night-out kind of pain, but an I-had-some-rough-and-decidedly-dodgy-sex-last-night sort of pain. And then the guy's orgasm face and the feeling of a certain bodily fluid dribbling down his thighs came back to him. And the handful of cash being handed to him as the guy slurred his thanks buzzed in his bleary memory.

He could see Laz's disapproving face, his brother looking disappointed and worried. Then a thought of Spock flashed across his mind. How would he react if he found out what Jim had been up to the night before? Well he probably wouldn't care anyway. He was probably having the time of his life at the science academy, sizing up all the vulcan guys who weren't complicated or emotional, and weren't whole planets away.

Thinking of Spock was weird, after all the time he had been trying to do anything but that. Every person he had sex with, or flirted with or looked at was just an object to distract him from what had happened. But he kept thoughts of Spock to a minimum; it just made it harder to be with the other people.

He couldn't help but wonder what Spock was doing at that very moment. Would he be asleep looking all adorable and ruffled and hot? Or would he be at school, talking to some other vulcans and learning? He was wondering what had happened regarding Spock's future. Academy? Or marriage? He'd tried to block out all thoughts of Spock, but now he couldn't get it off his mind. You can't just switch off feelings like that. All the sex and alcohol in the world couldn't drown the love he'd felt in those few days. He had an unbelievable urge to call Spock. To talk to him, to find out what had been happening, how he was coping, how his mum and dad were.

Then a wave of nausea hit him and he ran down the hall into the bathroom and threw up into the toilet. His throat was burning as he leant against the porcelain and he really wanted his glass of water. Suffice to say any thoughts he had of doing anything that required any movement flew straight from his brain as his broiling stomach was more demanding that phoning the guy that had abandoned him and cut off all contact anyway.

Spock pulled a new jumper over his head and ran pale fingers through his hair. He could hear Thomas mulling around the kitchen behind him. He looked at the clock and saw that it was 11:00 o'clock already. The rest had definitely done him some good though.

He grabbed the PADD that he had placed in the suitcase and started to read through his notes for the Kobayashi Maru simulation. He already had the idea outlined and had started to configure programming numbers and data. Thomas appeared at his shoulder, holding two mugs of tea and raising his eyebrows as he watched Spock's fingers gliding deftly over the PADD.

"Back to work already, huh? I see you've inherited the Vulcan ability to distance yourself." He said with a ghost of a smile on his face.

Spock looked up at his uncle and accepted the cup that was extended to him.

"I have been set a project by one of my professors, and, now that I do not have thoughts of Jim to distract me any longer, I can focus all of my attention upon it." he replied in a monotone, passing the PADD to his uncle to read over.

"A simulation where cadets have to show that they can accept fear and a likelihood of failure, and still show their ability to be in command of their ship and their crew? This is a really great idea; you've obviously got the intelligence that your mother has." Thomas commented, smiling slightly as he handed it back.

"Thank you. I thought that it would be a good test of the cadets' characters and ability to cope." Spock answered, taking a sip from the mug. He proceeded to work on the PADD for another half an hour, as Thomas took a shower.

Then he and his uncle carried his suitcase into his car and drove to the space dock. It felt strange to be leaving Iowa again; he remembered how he had left in tears last time, feeling utterly lost and hurt. This time had been less of a success; he had been warned off Jim by Sam and not even got a chance to explain. It had been nice to see his uncle again though, and to have someone to talk to who understood him.

He hugged his uncle goodbye, smiling at him.

"Thank you for being so hospitable, uncle. I appreciated the company and your conversation. It would have been a lonely and miserable trip were it not for your kindness." Spock said, looking into his uncle's warm brown eyes that so resembled his mothers. The older man smiled and patted Spock's arm fondly.

"You're welcome Spock; it's been really nice to see you. I'm sorry that your trip didn't go as planned, I was glad to help you through it and to have company. Good luck with that simulation, you should get some recognition for such a great creation. Goodbye." Thomas replied, carrying Spock's suitcase onto the shuttle.

"Goodbye, and thank you." Spock said, as he boarded the shuttle back to San .Francisco. He waved through the window as it sped away into the distance

Spock sat at the desk in his Starfleet quarters, the sound of loud music filtering through from the dorm next door. He had been working on the kobayashi maru simulation design for two hours, and the noise was starting to distract him. In 20 minutes he had a meeting with his tutor who was teaching him the basics of the Professor course the Academy ran. His lecturers had met up and decided that he was good professor material, so they had suggested that he could start the course a year early (as long as it could be completed alongside his other studies). So for two weeks he had been learning as much as he could and fitting the tutor sessions in with his other lectures.

He could just not focus with all the noise and decided to go next door to ask them to turn the music down. He placed the PADD on the desk and moved the books that had been resting on his knees on the desk too.

He walked calmly out of his room and stood outside his next door neighbour's door, knocking twice. The door opened to reveal Mark; the man Spock had had few dealings with since living next door to him in the accommodation. They greeted each other cordially and Spock had encountered him drunk numerous times. At this moment he was standing there without a shirt on, and Spock could count at least seven people in his room in various states of inebriation.

"Hey Spock, what can I do for you?" Mark asked, looking at him through bleary eyes.

"Mark, would you mind turning your music down please? I am trying to complete assignments and the noise is rather distracting." Spock replied calmly and clearly, wincing slightly at the screeching music.

"Oh, sorry Spock, I'll just get it…hey, Robbie can you turn the music down a bit, dude?" he called back into the room, to a familiar looking cadet who turned it down with a frown and a pout.

He sashayed towards the door still frowning resolutely. He leaned on the doorframe and looked Spock up and down.

"Who's the spoilsport then, Marky-Mark?" Robbie drawled his eyes half-lidded with drunkenness.

"This is Spock, he lives next door. He has a point about the music though Robbo, it is really loud. You know how much of a bitch it is to work when there's noise, well you _would_ know if you actually did any assignments!" mark joked, nodding to spock.

While mark was talking Spock realised why the cadet was so familiar to him; he had seen his face within Jim's memory when they had mind melded. Robbie Anderson, the person that had treated Jim so terribly when he was so young, taken his virginity by force and been the cause of so much heartache, was standing in front of him.

He knew it was him, the image in his head was so clear and horrifying, he was unmistakably Robbie Anderson - the hair the eyes the cheekbones were so memorable.

Spock backed away slowly. He thanked Mark quietly and returned to his room, his work forgotten. He sat on the bed and pulled his knees up to his chest. While he had not spoken to Jim for a long while he still had an undying loyalty towards him. Yes, he was afraid of the kirk family wrath that would be rained upon him did he try to contact Jim or see him in Iowa again. But knowing how Robbie had treated the blonde still made his skin crawl (however biologically impossible that might be). Then a thought crossed his mind; if he could punish Robbie for what he had done to jim, then perhaps this could make up for his lack of contact? He was broken from his reverie by a knocking at his door.

He stood slowly and answered it, to reveal a female cadet with chocolate skin and a short red uniform. A long dark ponytail hung down her back and she was smiling slightly maniacally.

"You're Spock, right? I think we worked together on a linguistics project one time. I just wanted to ask you if you wanted any help with the alien biology homework. And I also wanted to say that it's great that you're doing the professor course as well as everything else. My lecturer said that you would be teaching some lessons for my communications class in the next couple of weeks and I'm super-excited to see what you are going to teach us; I'm sure you'll be a great teacher. I mean you are young enough that we can still find you attractive and also respectable enough to keep our interest." She babbled excitedly, not seeming to take a breath the entire time. Spock raised a dark eyebrow at her; she came across as quite overbearing and intense.

"I do not require any assistance with the alien biology homework, thank you. I believe you complimented me within your introductory speech, so I should thank you for that also. You did, however, fail to give me your name." spock responded, internally thanking that he was used to his mother's quick-talking nature and was able to decipher intelligible speech from the jumbled string of sounds the cadet had emitted.

The girl blushed lightly and giggled. Yes, giggled.

"Sorry about that, my name's Nyota Uhura. I am in your linguistics and alien biology classes. I just wanted to say 'Hi'." She spoke in a gushing and slightly superior tone, but Spock brushed this aside as he continued to view her sceptically.

"May I ask how you knew that I resided in this building?" Spock asked, looking into her face intently. He supposed that, if you were inclined that way, she was fairly aesthetically appealing - her eyes were almond-shaped and a dark shade of brown, she had full lips and high sweeping cheekbones. But he was _not _that way inclined, rather more intrigued why this cadet, that he had barely spoken to, had made such a point to seek him out at his accommodation.

"Oh…well, I heard your flatmate Mark talking about you and he said you lived next door." she blushed deeper and looked down at the floor nervously.

"I apologise, Miss Uhura, but before you visited me I was attempting to complete some outstanding assignments. Thank you for your compliments and it was pleasing to meet you. We may have more chance to speak in the classes that we share; however, right now I wish to return to my work." Spock replied calmly, as she smiled awkwardly at him.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't realise you were busy. Sorry again. I guess I'll see you in lectures then. Thanks for letting me talk to you. Bye Spock." she responded, smiling as she turned and walked down the corridor.

Spock retreated back into his room and removed all of his clothes except his boxers and slipped into the familiar bed, thoughts of Robbie Anderson running over and over in his mind. With the occasional flick back to the intense cadet that had visited him moments ago. He stilled his breathing and tried to clear his clouded mind. After a few moments he found himself succumbing to sleep.

Jim looked over the Starfleet application that his mother had given him. She had picked it up for him when she'd visited her friend in San Francisco a few months previous and had forgotten all about it. Laz was sitting across from him, sipping from a large mug of tea, smiling and nodding encouragingly.

"I think it's a great idea, I mean you're smart enough for it, and you've always said you wanted to travel around the stars. Something to focus on too and you could be captain of a ship, that'd be awesome, Jimmy." He said, handing Jim a pen and smiling wider.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. But it's just a bit scary…what if they don't want me?" Jim said quietly, as he filled details in slowly.

"Oh, baby; they will want you, who could pass up a smart, energetic, strong-willed kid like you? If I was the admissions officer then I would snap you up in a second…and they will do exactly that when they get your application." Winona urged, patting him on the shoulder lightly.

Jim smiled up at her and murmured

"I hope so, mum."

Spock had been thinking about how to confront Robbie about what he had done to Jim, for 4 months now. He had gone over and over scenario's in his head.

He could not see a way that he could punish him, without getting into trouble at the academy. Perhaps he could tell the admirals that Robbie was violent and sex crazed.

He could use his power as a trainee professor to influence the board of governors. Or he could force Robbie to resign from the academy. He could always just cause him as much pain as he had caused Jim, through fighting not Robbie's own methods of torture, of course.

Also he was distracted from these thoughts by the frequent interruptions in his daily routine by Nyota Uhura. If he was honest he found her company more of an overwhelming excess of positivity and shrill speaking than anything else. But he would not tell her this. She was perfectly well-meaning and intelligent and she wanted to be in his company a lot of the time. This was an irritation to say the least.

With all of her intellect she apparently could not take the hint that he wished to study alone in his room, and no; she didn't have to help him arrange his revision notes, and no; he didn't want to spend his free time drinking in bars with her. Her awareness of vulcans tending to seek solace and solitude and meditation time was also inexistent.

It was most unfortunate that Mark had informed her of where his room was. She was often interrupting his studying and working on the kobayashi maru simulation, to ask him to go out with her. He politely declined on these occasions. This did not deter her either.

So the weeks passed by quickly, Spock had taken up jogging around the park in san Francisco called Dolores Park; it served as an effective method of clearing his mind, and keeping fit at the same time. He had found that coming to Starfleet had caused his diet to go down hill slightly, preferring to eat replicated meals of little nutritional value and soup rather than solid meals. These were easier to eat between studying and preparing lecture notes for the classes he had set about teaching in the past month, and organising his revision into subjects.

While out jogging he also managed not to be in the direct vicinity of overbearing people, such as the frat boys that lived in his building and a certain dark-haired female cadet that would not leave him alone.

Then he saw something that made his brain flip over. Robbie Anderson was also jogging in the park; Spock came to a stop and watched the vile human turn off down one of the darker more heavily-wooded areas of the park.

'Perfect' thought Spock, jogging again to catch up with Robbie.

Jim had just finished packing his suitcases to get ready to go to San Francisco. The acceptance letter had arrived two weeks ago, and he had spent most of that fortnight out drinking with his brother and Laz and Jack. He had been so hung-over and then so drunk again frequently in the past few days, so much so that he was surprised his body could move at all. He was running on strong cups of tea and the huge grins his friends and family flashed his way as they watched him tearing around the house collecting his belongings.

"I can't believe I'm actually going to Starfleet! This is so fucking exciting!" Jim said, hugging Laz goodbye for the billionth time as he waited for the shuttle to take him.

"My baby boy, all grown up and moving out…to Starfleet no less! You'd better make me proud James Tiberius Kirk!" his mother gushed, wiping tears from her eyes with the sleeve of her cardigan. Jim hugged her too, placing a kiss on her wet cheek.

"I love you mum, thanks for always believing in me and I _will_ make you proud…I'll be captain James Tiberius Kirk and then I will fly by here in my spaceship and take you all on a trip around the stars and planets." He laughed as she stroked his cheek and smiled through the tears.

Sam hugged him next, patting him on the back.

"I'm gonna miss you, bro. but I know you're going to have tonnes of fun in San Fran with all those clubs and bars and hot cadets running around. Good luck, man. Not that you need It." his brother said, grinning and winking, as he slipped a condom into Jim's jean pocket.

"Thanks Sam, I've got to get there first, I won't be thinking about any 'hot cadets' for a little while yet. I'm going to miss you looking out for me; maybe you could come along as my bodyguard and wingman?" Jim replied, wiping a tear from his eye as he made jokes to distract from his sadness at having to leave Iowa.

With a final hug to his mum he picked up his cases and boarded the shuttle, waving and shouting that he loved them all out of the window as it flew away into the sky. Sam wrapped an arm around his mum's shoulder, as she slipped her hand into Laz's shaking hand.

Spock tackled Robbie to the ground and straddled the wriggling man, swinging his arm and punching him in the Jaw, hard. Robbie's eyes widen and he attempts to grab the Vulcan's wrists.

"WHAT THE FUCK MAN? WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?" he shouted, managing to push Spock off of him and crawling away slightly. He stood upright, his jaw already turning red from the punch.

Spock stood up gracefully and turned on Robbie again.

"it was not me you committed an offence against." He spoke calmly, trying not to let emotion rule him.

"Who was it then? Some friend of yours?" Robbie spat, moving away from spock, preparing himself to be tackled again.

"Yes, do you remember a James Kirk? You were friends with his brother Sam, I believe?" spock felt the adrenaline pumping in his veins and stared into the man's face for a flicker of recognition in his cruel eyes.

"Oh yeah; cute little blonde kid, super up for it…yeah I remember him." he replied, laughing cruelly as he seemed to recall the event that had harmed Jim so much. He really did make Spock's skin crawl.

"YOU WILL PAY FOR THE WAY YOU TREATED HIM! HE WAS ONLY A CHILD; DO YOU HAVE NO HUMANITY?" spock shouted back, feeling anger bubble up in his chest and spill over. The man before him clearly did not care about Jim, or how he may have felt afterwards.

"Age doesn't come into it when you're horny, well not for me anyway." Was robbie's repulsive reply.

"I wish for you to resign from Starfleet, I'm sure the admiralty and other cadets would be horrified to hear what habits you were involved in; raping innocent children is hardly something you want on your record, is it Mr. Anderson"

"You wouldn't dare report me." Robbie said, the response somewhat weakened by a quiver in his voice.

"I will not have to if you resign. There will be no record for you if you are no longer a cadet." Spock quipped back coolly.

"I don't think I will actually, I like Starfleet; especially the new kids that come in at age 17…they're cute." Robbie leered, moving his hips to emphasise the latter part of his statement.

Spock shivered in repulsion and locked gazes with Robbie.

"IF YOU WILL NOT DO SO WILLINGLY, I WILL FORCE THE RESIGNTION FROM YOU" Spock shouted, pushing Robbie backwards into a tree. The human cringed at the pain but a smile played across his lips

"I'd like to see you try." He whispered, leaning close to Spock's face and licking his cheek languidly. Spock backed away, grimacing and wiping his cheek.

"You will regret challenging me; as you will regret ever harming Jim." with that spock proceeded to punch and kick and push at every piece of Robbie he could reach.

He revelled in seeing the blood dribble from the human's nose and eyebrow. He heard a few satisfying cracks of broken or fractured bones in Robbie's arms and legs.

Spock let all of the rage and hatred he had ever felt and repressed in his life pour from him, channelling it into this fight. He walked away minutes later, leaving Robbie lying in the mud, groaning as he tried to move. He strangely didn't feel regret for his actions.

Jim had been in Starfleet for a week and a half and he had already ended up in the hospital wing. He was sitting on a bed, as a nurse bandaged his newly broken arm.

He and his new class had been training in the gym for agility and general fitness; he had tripped over one of the hym mats and had landed awkwardly against a bench. Yeah, not the sexiest of ways to get injured, not because he was standing up for someone in a fight, because he was a klutz and fell over a gym mat. Not cool jimmy, very not cool.

The nurse said that he had to wait the plaster set for at least 5 minutes. They already knew him in the hospital wing, even before the broken arm, he had had two allergic reactions (strawberries and sneaky peanuts in a cake he had been given) and went into anaphylactic shock for the latter. Damn allergies. So the nurses and doctors knew how much he hated sitting still in the ward doing nothing.

He had hit it off really well with one of the doctors, a country man from Georgia who had a young daughter and a crazy wife who was cheating on him and was in the middle of a crappy divorce. Leonard McCoy They had talked in the cafeteria on his first day and he had offered Jim a sip from his hip flask of bourbon during the walk to the admiral's speech. He would never forget the first thing he'd said.

"McCoy, Leonard McCoy, my wife took the whole planet in the divorce, all I've got left is me bones. Hence why I'm here in Starfleet; thought I might as well start my life over." This was when jim created his new friend's nickname; 'Bones'.

He was glad that he had made a friend already; at least he wouldn't be friendless.

So he leapt of the bed, careful not to shake his broken arm too much, and walked around, looking to see if there were any long-stay patients. The ward was empty, except for a dark haired man who was wired up to some machines and had a cast on one of his arms and one of his legs; he had a lot of blood on his face and hands, and was snoring lightly.

Jim moved closer to the patient and recoiled in horror when he saw his face.

How could he be here? He went to Spain, he couldn't be…it just couldn't be him. Not here! This wasn't fair!

Jim had forgotten about him, moved on, and got used to the idea that he was miles and miles away. But now he was right here, inches from him. Jim wanted to congratulate whoever had done this to the cruel bastard that was Robbie Anderson.

He was pissed that he hadn't had the chance to throw a few punches himself. Suddenly Robbie awoke, groaning and wincing.

"Resign…Starfleet. Need to resign…resign…Starfleet." Was all he croaked out in his low voice, before turning his head and going back to sleep.

"That's all he's been saying since he came in here a few weeks ago. He filled out the form to resign as soon as one of the nurses got it for him. He must really hate Starfleet to want to leave so badly. He also called his parents in Spain saying he was returning home as soon as he was well enough." One of the doctors had appeared at Jim's shoulder, as he was backing away from the man who had terrorised his thoughts for years.

All he wanted to do was leave, get as far away from Robbie as possible and go and have a strong drink of Bones' whiskey stash. For a doctor he sure did drink a lot of alcohol. Hey, Jim wasn't complaining.

**Jesus! That is one long chapter - some stuff actually happens…shocker!**

**- Spock in Iowa being all cock-blocked and recovering with Thomas**

**- Jim being hung-over and remembering his drunken behaviour **

**- Spock starting to work on the Kobayashi maru thing - I don't know much about it other than what's in the 2009 movie and what is mentioned in one of the TOS movies with shatner( so sorry if it is incorrect)**

**-Spock at Starfleet dealing with frat-boy housemates and insistent Uhura**

**- ROBBIE IN STARFLEET - OMGWTF? OH NO **

**- Jim applying for Starfleet and getting accepted and then joining up **

**- Spock resolving the Robbie situation by kicking butt**

**- And then Jim seeing **_**beat up!Robbie**_** in the hospital wing - ready to GTFO of there sharpish - being a pedo-rapist is not what he wants on his record**

**Whoa very long and a little bit repetitive with all the shuttle rides and angst and ignorance of what the other one is doing…still not together yet though **** they will be soon…**

**But does the course of love run smooth…uh yeah generally not**

**The ending is going to have to be so schmoopy and fluffy and induce so many WARM AND FUZZY FEELINGS to make up for all this angst and non-action**

**Hope this is ok x **


	11. Chapter 11

**Roller-skating how illogical **

**Chapter 11**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the wondrous star trek or any characters or rights…blah blah blah obviousness**

**Some stuff actually happens…ooh shocking **

**MANY MANY THANKS TO MELODIE4894 FOR BETAING THIS CHAPTER FOR ME **** MUCH LOVE MEL X **

The Doctor moved away from the bed, leaving Jim to reel at the fact that Robbie was right in front of him. He looked at the chart and saw that he was beaten up in a park San Francisco. Jim really wanted to find the person that had hurt Robbie and give them a pat on the back. But all he wanted right at that moment was to be as far away from Robbie as possible.

He backed out of the ward and crashed into his friend Pavel Chekov.

"Hey, sorry, man. I didn't see you there. My mind's a little shaken up after what I've just seen." Jim gushed, helping Chekov up, and then helping pick up the Russian boy's books.

"Do not vorry, jim. I vas not looking vhere I vas going either. Too many books to carry." Chekov replied, chuckling and arranging the books in a pile so they were easy to carry.

"Let me help you; I've got all afternoon free thanks to this little baby." Jim responded, tapping the plaster cast with his knuckles and grabbing half the books from the 13 year old.

"If you do not mind zat vould be wery helpful, zank you." The Russian responded, walking towards his navigation lecture. Jim kept in step with him, and they talked about their physics assignments and the new physics lecturer that would be teaching them in the next week.

"Zank you Jim. I vill see you in ze physics seminar later." Chekov said once they reached the lecture hall.

"You're welcome. Yeah, see you later dude. Hey is Bones in the room?" Jim said, patting Chekov's shoulder and smiling, handing over the books and balancing them on the kid's already-large collection.

"Yes Jim, he vas just going into your room ven I was on my vay here." the boy answered as he made his way into the room to join all the other cadets.

"Cool, thanks." Jim called out as he made his way down the corridor and out into the courtyard. He walked towards his dorm room that he shared with his doctor friend. Jim wanted to curl up in bed and forget Robbie's scarred bloodied face, that image, coupled with the memories from that horrific incident all those years ago was driving him insane.

Bones was sitting on his bunk, three books spread out in front of him as he valiantly tried to revise for a module exam he had in three days. He was having trouble doing so because the girls in the room next door were watching a very loud romantic comedy and drinking and giggling a lot. The boys on the other side were having what sounded like a frat party with keg stands and jock's being loud and lecherous. Apparently there was some sports game on the TV that was very important. He sighed for the hundredth time and tried to focus on the ten variations of Romulan and Klingon forehead-ridge formations. He had been reading that same page for 20 minutes already.

This was when Jim came into the room and flopped down on his own bunk, sighing heavily.

"You got your arm sorted out then?" Bones muttered looking up from his books as the young cadet came into the room. Jim smiled at him and nodded.

"Yeah, all bandaged up." He replied, removing his cadet uniform and changing into a plain white t shirt, grey low-rider jogging bottoms and a dark blue Starfleet hoodie.

"You look really pale, are you okay? Has something happened?" The doctor asked, pushing his revision aside and turning to look at the blonde. Jim saw that Bones looked like he was about to reach for his med bag. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed again.

"Nah, I'm fine really. Just had a little blast from the past that threw me off my game." He replied, grimacing lightly as he recalled the memory of being a teenager and being forced to his knees by the same man that was now lying in the hospital wing.

"Really? Wanna talk about it?" McCoy asked, frowning a little at the bitter tone Jim was using.

Jim debated if telling him was the best idea. He looked into the green-brown eyes of his friend and felt a little reassured.

"I just ran into this guy that…uh…hurt me when I was a kid. He's in the hospital wing all beaten up. And it all came flooding back to me when I saw him. No big deal though, Bones." He replied, lying back on his bed and closing his eyes trying to forget the memories that kept pouring into his mind.

"Well, as long as you're alright, kid." The doctor said, standing up and patting Jim on the shoulder.

"You want some Bourbon? I was just going to have some." Bones asked, moving to the kitchen and retrieving the alcohol from the top of the cupboard.

"Hell yeah; I'd love some, cheers man." Jim replied, feeling as if alcohol could really be the answer to all life's problems: heartbreak, horrific memories, abandonment. Alcohol was a beautiful substitute for actually having to _deal_ with problems.

Jim made his way to his physics seminar, chatting to Chekov as they waited for their tutor to arrive. The seminar itself was interesting - the tutor was teaching them about Quantum Physics which both he and Chekov easily got their heads around (thanks to the tutor taking them through it really slowly and explaining it in the simplest way). The rest of the class found it less easy to understand; Chekov got up in front of the class and drew an example on the board which helped the rest of the students. Jim was jealous of the fact that the Russian had that much confidence and he was only 13. At his age jim didn't have half as much confidence, let alone being able to move from his country to America and being surrounded by people that were years older than you.

He felt a wave of pride as Chekov explained how Quantum Physics worked.

After the seminar ended they walked back to Jim and Bones' room. Chekov often hung out in their room as he lived just down the hall and they had a lot of their subjects in common.

"How's your English class going? I was speaking to this Orion girl in my chemistry class and she said the lecturer was really good." Jim asked, as they turned the corridor and made their way out into the evening air.

"It iz going wery vell, zank you. I am finding it difficult to understand a lot of ze euphemisms and sayings zat you eenglish use though. Ze professor is wery good at understanding zat we do not understand, so he helps us." Chekov explained; his Russian accent very thick as usual. Jim had come to terms with changing the appropriate letters in his head and found that he understood him perfectly most of the time.

"Ah right, that's cool. Who is it that teaches it? Longbourne? Or Michelson?" Jim asked, as they made their way along the corridor. They came to a stop outside their dorm room, while Jim fumbled in his pocket for the keys. He could knock, but Bones was probably busy revising, or drinking and Jim didn't want to disturb his friend.

"He is ze wulcan professor, vith ze pale skin, dark hair and pointed ears. I cannot remember his name. Ve don't really use his real name in the lectures. He iz also wery young to be being a professor, Jim." Chekov retorted as Jim sat on his bed, and the Russian sat in his desk char, both of them moving as quietly as possible as the doctor was asleep leaning on his desk with his head resting on his arms. The same revision books were splayed around the desk and the bed and the floor.

"A vulcan? Like a Vulcan, Vulcan? But they hardly ever branch out from their own academies." Jim asked, a little confused by Chekov's answer. The Russian looked up at him and nodded.

"Definitely a wulcan, Jim. He ewen spoke to us in his own language." Chekov vehemently assured. Jim frowned.

"That must be one strong-minded Vulcan to…oh my god! It could be… I mean I did leave that application form in the envelope…could it really be? It wasn't totally impossible…" Jim followed and verbalised his train of thought, to an utterly perplexed Chekov.

"Vat are you talking about, Jim? Could be who?" the Russian asked, raising his eyebrows as Jim had stood up and started pacing.

"Can you really not remember his name? Just his first name? He must've told you?"

Jim pleaded, looking into Chekov's grey-blue eyes desperately.

"Professor…uh…it vas something strange…um Spock! Yes Spock! Zat vas it!" the boy answered, smiling widely. Jim's brain had malfunctioned. Spock. Spock was here, in Starfleet, this was just too crazy. He wanted to find the Vulcan, to hug him and slap him at the same time. To demand an explanation, before kissing him hard. He really just needed to see Spock for himself. Just to look into those dark eyes again.

"Hey, sorry Chekov, but I've just remembered I've got to ask one of my lecturers a question about an assignment, and I need to do it tonight before I have to hand it in tomorrow. I'm really sorry. You're welcome to crash here if you want, or you can let yourself out? I've really gotta go. Sorry. Thanks." Jim said in a hurry, as he ran his fingers through his hair and walked towards the door.

"Jim? Oh right. No zat is fine; sounds important. I vill see you in physics tomorrow?" Chekov called, to a fast retreating Jim.

"Yeah, I'll be there." Jim shouted back, as he ran along the corridor and down the stairwell. His mind was reeling and his heart beating rapidly in his ribcage. He wondered if Spock would remember him, or if the Vulcan really gave a crap at all. A lot had happened since that week in Iowa. He slowed down when he walked through the door to the teaching block. The staff room was at the end of the long corridor, it seemed to take an age to make his way there. Spock, the Vulcan he had fallen in love with, could be sitting in the staffroom. Spock who he thought he would never see again. Spock, the same Spock who it had taken a lot of painful sex and strong alcohol to drive from his mind. Sitting yards away unknowing that Jim was here too.

He stood outside the door, raising his hand to knock on the wood. His heart was beating double time and he could feel butterflies in his stomach. He heard himself knock rather than actually feeling it, his hands were shaking and his whole body felt numb.

The door opened to reveal Professor Christopher Pike. Jim liked Pike, he had gotten on with him from the first chemistry lecture they'd had together. Pike had known Jim's father, George Kirk and they often had conversations about him and his mother and how he'd taught them when they'd applied to the fleet.

"Hey there, Jim. How's it going, son?" Pike asked, smiling at Jim. Jim found his voice and smiled back.

"Yeah, good thanks sir. You?" he said, taking a deep breath and relaxing slightly, leaning against the doorframe.

"Fine thanks, just started marking those your chemistry assignment this morning, I couldn't finish it before I had to dash to my 11:00 seminar with some third years. What I read was top class though Jimmy!" Pike responded, patting Jim on the shoulder.

"Assignment? …oh yeah, thanks sir. I was wondering if I could talk to Sp-Professor Spock. I need to ask him about an assignment?" Jim asked as a silence settled between the professor and himself.

"Sure, I'll just get him." Pike said turning and walking away, leaving Jim to stare at the wooden door and let his nerves drown him. The door handle turned and it opened to reveal Spock wearing a professor uniform and looking as hot as he had all those months ago in Iowa.

Before Spock could say a word Jim took hold of the Vulcan's wrist and pulled him towards a closet that was situated down the corridor a little way. He wrenched the door open and pushed Spock inside, following him. He closed the door behind him and pulled the light switch. They were bathed in a dim light but it was definitely Spock alright. No mistaking.

"Spock! Fucking hell! It really is you! I didn't believe it when Chekov said your name so I came here to double check." Jim said, his heart beating faster again. Both of them were standing in utter awe and disbelief.

"Jim…I cannot believe…this is…you are here?" Spock stuttered out, his hands reaching forward to hold onto Jim, but he stepped back until he was out of reach. Jim saw disappointment and hurt flicker in Spock's eyes as they glistened in the low light.

"Yeah, I am here spock. Not that it matters to you anyway." Jim said back coldly, watching as Spock's hands drop back to rest at his sides.

"Jim? What do you mean by that?" Spock asked the pain evident in his voice as he took a step closer. Jim hated that the closet was so small and so full of cleaning products. The enclosed space didn't allow him to take a step away from Spock. He needed to stay focused, to keep his mind clear. He didn't want to be drawn back into the Vulcan's trap. He'd fallen into it before in Iowa, and he'd fallen hard. He needed to focus on what he'd kept bottled up while Spock had been gone. All the things he'd wanted to say; that he would've said had he had the courage to call Spock.

"You went back home and you forgot about me, you didn't call me. You abandoned me Spock! You said you loved me and that you'd never forget me. But you did." Jim said, flopping down on an upturned bucket as he felt tears sting the corners of his eyes. Spock's face had crumpled as Jim had been accusing him.

The Vulcan sat down on the floor next to the bucket, about a foot away from Jim as to give him his much-wanted space.

"I did not abandon you, Jim. Not willingly." Spock said quietly, sighing heavily. Jim looked up from where his head was resting on his arms.

"What does that mean?" Jim asked, all previous venom gone from his voice as Spock's statement spiked his curiosity.

"When I arrived back on Vulcan I told my father what had happened between us. That I loved you and that I had been changed by our experiences in Iowa. He rejected this and forced me to carry on my education and focus on going to the Vulcan Science Academy. He told me I was foolish to believe I loved you; that I was degrading myself. He took my communicator away from me, and I could not find any other ways to contact you. He kept me under almost 24 hour surveillance." Spock explained, with each word Jim became more interested and shocked.

"Your father stopped you from contacting me?" Jim asked meekly, feeling awful for accusing Spock.

"Yes, Jim. I was able to free myself by coming to Starfleet. I would like to thank you for putting that Starfleet application in with the letter you wrote." Spock replied, shuffling a little closer to Jim.

"You're welcome. I'm glad you decided to come here. But after you came here why didn't you call me then? You must have been here at least a year or so for you to already be a professor, right?" Jim asked, thinking over what Spock was saying.

"I wanted to contact you. I dialled your number multiple times and then hung up. I did not want you to hate me. I knew you would feel angry at me for not contacting you. I could not stand to know that I had upset you. Besides, I did come to Iowa to explain everything to you." Spock looked into Jim's face at this point. He wanted Jim to trust him again; to know that he was telling the truth.

"You were in Iowa? Why didn't you come and see me?" Jim asked, turning so he was facing Spock completely. If he had been so close why hadn't he visited? Was he really that scared Jim would reject him?

"I had every intention of visiting your home. I went into a bar to ready myself to see you, and you were there with your brother and your friend. I was just about to go over and talk to you when your brother told me that I shouldn't. He said that I'd already hurt you enough, and that I should leave and not come back. I know that you are close to your family and that they have your best interests at heart. So I took his advice. Perhaps I was wrong to do so. I should have fought to see you, Jim." Spock said his voice quiet. Jim was sitting with his mouth agape. His brother had told Spock to stay away. He had been less than a foot away and Sam had told him to leave?

"He told you to leave me alone? To stay away?" Jim asked frowning at Spock's admission. Spock nodded solemnly; he placed a hand on Jim's knee and looked into his conflicted blue eyes.

"Jim, I did not abandon you. I am sorry that that is what you have thought for so long. I suppose that I should have tried harder, should have listened to what I wanted rather than to other people." Spock replied dejectedly. He made to stand up and leave the closet but Jim grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, and for not contacting you. I understand that you- Before Spock could finish his sentence Jim was pushing him against the door and kissing him hard on the mouth.

"I'm the one who should be sorry! I didn't realise all the crap you'd been through back on Vulcan. And here I am shouting at you and blaming you. None of this is your fault. I should've been less selfish, I should've called you. Can you forgive me?" Jim said, pulling back from the kiss and running his hands down Spock's sides.

"Of course I forgive you, Jim. I love you, none of that matters now." Spock replied, hugging Jim tight to his chest and running a hand through the human's blonde hair.

"I love you too, Spock." Jim whispered, holding just as tightly to Spock. It was amazing that he was back in Spock's warm, loving embrace. He thought he'd never see the Vulcan again. So to be hugging him and kissing him and hearing him talk was mind-blowing. They stayed that way for what seemed like ages, not saying anything or wanting to move; just enjoying being back together.

"Hey, Spock?" Jim asked after a while. Spock lifted his head from Jim's shoulder and searched Jim's face with his chocolate eyes.

"Yes, my love?" Spock murmured.

"Do you live on campus? Or have you got a place in the city?" Jim ran his hand over the back of Spock's head and ghosted his fingers over the point of the Vulcan's ear. He enjoyed the way the Vulcan turned into putty at the simple touch; his eyelids closed and he leaned into the warm hand.

"I…uh...I live on campus. Why?" Spock replied, his voice a little husky. Jim smiled his dazzling smile and Spock felt his insides flutter.

"Well, I was just wondering about where we were going to have the really hot reunion sex. This closet is a little too small and a little too close to the staff room for that kind of thing, don't you think?" Jim chuckled, leaning forward and kissing Spock again.

"Let us leave here, Jim. My accommodation is not far from here. I have finished teaching for the day; therefore I have the entire evening free." Spock replied, raising a dark eyebrow.

"Perfect." Jim said, walking out of the closet with Spock following behind. They walked to Spock's apartment in comfortable silence. Both of them were still reeling that the person they had been constantly thinking about had been so close all this time.

"Oh, hey, there was something I found out the other day that I wanted to tell you. You remember me telling you about Robbie Anderson? Well I was in the hospital the other day, getting my arm bandaged up" Jim paused to show Spock his plaster cast from underneath the sleeve of his hoodie. They had arrived just outside the building and Spock needed his key card to get inside.

"And I was wandering around the place waiting for the plaster to dry and I came across him all beaten up in a hospital bed. Isn't that crazy? I really want to find the person who did it and give them a pat on the back." Jim turned around to look at Spock; he saw that the Vulcan looked a little guilty. Then it hit him. One of the only people that knew about what Robbie Anderson had done to him was Spock. And he'd read about superior strength and the over-ruling of emotions when vulcans were concerned. But was it actually true?

"Oh my God! Did you really- I mean, it was you? Wow Spock I can't-" Jim stuttered, his mind blown by the fact that Spock could've done this.

"Yes Jim. It was I who harmed him. I saw him jogging and I could not stop the anger that rose within me; all I could see was the way he treated you. I believe I got a little carried away." Spock explained, blushing light green. Jim followed the Vulcan into his apartment, looking around happily at the spacey flat.

Spock sat on the sofa, frowning lightly. Jim sat on his lap and placed a light kiss on his furrowed brow.

"Jim, I could not be in Robbie's vicinity. I had to force him to leave Starfleet; it took a lot of blood on my hands before he would promise this." Spock continued, placing his hands on Jim's hips. Jim's face crumpled up and he noticeably moved backwards as Spock mentioned the blood.

"Are you afraid of me? I was only violent because I had a reason to be; I would never dream of-" Jim placed his fingers over Spock's lips to stem his speech.

"Afraid? No. turned on when I probably shouldn't be? Yes. Completely touched by your loyalty to me? Hell yes! Enough talking; let's move this to the bedroom, huh?" Jim said in a low voice, standing up and pulling Spock up by his hands, he dragged the Vulcan into the bedroom and pushed him onto his own bed, smirking as he crawled over his body.

He straddled Spock and kissed him hard on the mouth, loving the feeling of Spock's rough tongue sliding over his own. Spock let out a strangled moan as Jim wiggled his hips, rubbing their erections together.

"God! I've missed you, Spock." Jim murmured, unfastening Spock's uniform jacket button by button. It was soon gone as well as the grey undershirt. It was awkward to work Spock's clothes off with his arm plastered, but he managed to roll with it.

Within a few minutes they were only wearing their underwear; their clothes scattered around the floor.

"Mmm; so fucking hot!" Jim said, kissing his way along Spock's jaw and down to suckling his collarbone and earlobe, listening to the keen whines his Vulcan was emitting. He licked and sucked the hardening nipples individually too, before kissing his way down hardened abs and dipping his tongue in the bellybutton.

He looked up at Spock with blue eyes that were darkened by lust. Spock nodded in answer to the look, lifting his hips as Jim removed the Vulcan's straining boxers. Their removal revealed Spock's hard weeping cock to the warm air, before he could even adjust Jim was swirling his deft tongue around the head and lapping at the pre-cum. He took the length all the way into his mouth, his tongue still swirling around and stroking the shaft. Spock tipped his head back against the pillows, his eyes fluttering at the feeling.

Jim continued to bob his head up and down the erection, Spock moaning with every miniscule movement the blonde head between his legs made. He could feel pleasure pooling in his abdomen, as if a coil was to be released any second. And then the mouth and lips and tongue were withdrawn, leaving Spock wanting and looking disappointed and desperate.

"Sorry baby, I can't let you come yet. I know you're tired and you really need to come, but it's going to get better, I promise. Just bear with me, alright?" Jim whispered, kissing Spock's forehead and walking into the bathroom of the apartment.

"Condoms? Lube? Where in the bathroom are these things? Cabinet? Under the sink? Maybe not in the bathroom at all?" Jim called out to a panting Spock.

"T-top shelf of the ca-cabinet fo the lubricant. The condoms are in the d-drawer by my bed." Spock replied, sitting up slightly to watch Jim move around his flat.

"Cool, thanks love." Jim returned, reaching into the drawer and pulling out condoms and twirling the bottle of lube between his fingers. He squirted some of the latter onto his fingers and placed them at Spock's entrance, hearing the Vulcan hiss in anticipation.

"'s gonna be okay, I'll go slow; I promise." Jim said against Spock's parted lips. He pushed one finger inside Spock, kissing him again to soothe the pain. He pressed it completely inside, stroking his prostate easily and hearing the subsequent gasp and moan.

"There you go…totally worth it, right?" Jim asked, running his free hand over the back of Spock's head. Spock nodded and mouthed the word yes as Jim inserted a second and then a third finger, stretching and scissoring to prepare his lovely Vulcan.

"J-Jim…I love you. I'm sorry that we lost contact…I was a fool to let you believe I had abandoned- Spock started to say, this was just answered by a hard kiss from Jim.

"Totally forgiven. You're here for me now; that's what matters, baby." Jim answered, slowly withdrawing his fingers to Spock's discomfort.

He leaned back so he was kneeling and slowly removed his boxers, peeling them over his thighs as Spock watched him hungrily, lust and need swirling in his gorgeous dark eyes. He took his erection in hand, undoing the condom and rolling it over himself. He squirted some lube onto his fingers and stroked his covered cock, lubricating himself efficiently. Spock took his hands and pulled him back between his splayed legs.

"I love you, Spock." Jim said gently, positioning himself at Spock's entrance and pressing himself inside. Spock groaned and he drew his tapered eyebrows together initially, relaxing again as more of Jim's dick was drawn inside him. Then there was a beautiful brush against his prostate and the pain and unfamiliarity didn't matter any longer.

"Alright? Is this okay?" Jim cooed, reaching up and placing a warm hand against Spock's cheek. To the nod he gained in response Jim pulled out and thrust back slowly, picking up pace as Spock pushed his hips back. They fell into a rhythm of thrust and buck and thrust and buck. It was as if they had never been apart, and all the thoughts and feelings left hanging had been explained in an instant.

Spock could feel himself coming closer to orgasm, as Jim sped up his thrusting. Both men were moaning in unison as Jim reached between them to wrap his hand around Spock's aching erection, stroking and pumping in time with the movement. This drove Spock over the edge, causing him to come hard, spilling his seed onto Jim's tanned chest.

His eyes rolled back in his head as Jim moved quicker to completion, pulsing into him faster and harder than ever, the vulcan tensed and spread his knees further as Jim came inside him, his forehead resting against Spock's, panting and moaning the Vulcan's name.

He kissed Spock hard on the mouth and pulled out, moving out of the Vulcan's embrace to clean up. Spock's eyes followed Jim's form as he moved towards the bathroom. He returned moments later, smiling widely and lying next to Spock, wrapping his arms around Spock's rising and falling torso. Spock leant against Jim and entwined their legs, reaching for the long-forgotten duvet and draping it over them both. Ordering the lights off he held Jim close and allowed sleep to claim him. He hoped falling asleep with the gorgeous human would be a regular thing.

He heard Jim whisper "I really missed you Spock." to which he responded "and I you. Sleep now beautiful one."

Jim hummed his agreement and yawned widely, nuzzling into Spock's neck and stilling his movements.

Jim awoke the next day to an empty bed, he reached across to hug his Vulcan but he wasn't there, or anywhere else in the flat for that matter. He pulled on last night's clothes and borrowed a pair of Spock's boxer shorts, and resigned himself to sitting in the bed. Then he noticed the note on the bedside table, Spock's door keys were left on top of the paper, he pushed them aside; he grabbed for the note and read it quickly;

_Jim,_

_I apologise for leaving you without a proper goodbye, but I have an early morning linguistics class to teach and as much as I would love to miss it and spend the time with you, regrettably I cannot do so._

_I will return to you as soon as it is over. Do not see my leaving as a form of rejection. Last night was most enjoyable and I hope to repeat such nights in the future_

_Love, Spock x_

Jim smiled at the kiss at the end, and placed it back on the table. He helped himself to a bowl of cereal and a strong cup of tea, and sat at Spock's kitchen table, very much enjoying having a free morning to mull around Spock's lovely, cadet-less and very Spock-like flat. After washing his face and rinsing his mouth out with mouthwash he flopped himself down on the exquisitely comfortable sofa and listened to some music for a while. He browsed Spock's extensive bookcase and became more acclimatised with his bedroom and the few trinkets and decorations Spock had added to the basic apartment.

The place was really nice; spacious and homey and welcoming. You could tell Spock was a professor by the books that he owned and the piles of PADDS and papers that were stacked in neat piles and put on the top of Spock's imaginary to-do list. But you could also tell that he was young and somewhat homesick, he had pictures of his mother placed around the desk in his bedroom, and oh my God! Was that really the teddy Jim had won for him all that time ago? Jim ran towards it and stared in awe - It was that same teddy bear. He smiled with pride as he saw how well-looked-after it was - still shiny and golden and the ribbon shone bright blue as it had done on the day he'd won it. Jim thought about his own souvenir from that wonderful week - the grey jumper Spock had gifted him. He kept it in the bottom of his wardrobe, pristine and wrapped in tissue paper. If he ever felt hopeless or lonely he would unfold it and hug it close to him, revelling in the alien and beautifully nostalgic smell of his Spock.

He decided that, rather than wait around for Spock to come back, he would go to meet him after the lecture as a surprise. He pulled his shoes on and grabbed the keys from the bedside table. He made his way out of the apartment, turning the music and lights off as he closed the door. He locked up and slipped the keys into his pocket, unable to stop smiling after the amazing night he'd just had.

He walked towards the main building, trying to keep the skip out of his step and a whistle from slipping past his lips. He didn't want to seem too happy; he might come across as suspicious. Besides if anyone found out he was sleeping with a professor he might get into trouble, regardless of their mitigating circumstances.

He easily accessed the school's computer, finding Spock's lecture hall in seconds. He walked up two flights of stairs and along at least four corridors before finally coming to a stop outside the correct room. Butterflies fluttered in his chest at seeing his beautiful Vulcan again. The students filed out after the bell rang, he waited until they had all left before opening the door and walking into the room.

What he saw next had him in total and utter shock; Spock was being kissed by a leggy female cadet with a long dark swishing ponytail and a very short skirt. A woman! Spock was kissing a woman! She had a thigh between Spock's legs and was moaning into the kiss.

"SPOCK? HOW COULD YOU? I THOUGHT YOU…I MEAN YOU SAID…YOU LIED TO ME! FUCK YOU SPOCK!" Jim shouted, throwing Spock's keys to the front of the lecture hall and storming straight out. He carried on walking quickly along the corridors and down the stairwells, ignoring Spock's calls for him to wait and The Bitch-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named calling to Spock as he shouted and tried to run after Jim.

Jim felt as if his heart had just been stamped all over, no, stomped on and then cut into hundreds of little pieces Spock was KISSING someone else! Who was to say that he wasn't fucking not only that girl cadet, but lots of other boys and girls just like her? Was Jim just another cheap fuck to Spock? Just someone to draw out an orgasm? Was Spock really like everyone else who had graced Jim's bed?

He had seemed so genuine, so in love.

"FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?" Jim shouted to no-one in particular. He slid down the wall, thumped his head on his knees and cried. How could Spock, Spock of all people, do this to him?

**DUN DUN DUUUUN!**

**Sorry for the wait - had an exam to revise for and Christmas chocolate to binge on**

**I attempted to write Chekov's accent- it's actually really hard to spell words incorrectly and to imagine the things he'd mispronounce…if you can't understand it just imagine little Anton Yelchin pronouncing it all adorable and Russian **

**The reunion - oh yay so happy it's all going to well for spirky spirk- but wait? Is he…kissing (Yeah kissing indeed) Uhura-cakes? Uh oh this doesn't bode well for little jimmy **

**But at least they had sex again, right? - Not much of a consolation but still**

**Damn Uhura throwing ANOTHER spanner in the works (don't get me wrong I love TOS Uhura with her awesome skillz…Nu-trek Uhura is a little condescending and uppity and the LOLmance with spocky? Pahahahaha…she's just an antagonist to academy!Spock in my story)**

**Hopefully this chapter is ok (as long as ever, sorry everyone)**


	12. Chapter 12

**ROLLERSKATING 12**

**This is chapter 13 of the story**

**Not a lot of action but it fills in some gaps and intertwines canon and my version of events**

Spock finally caught up with Jim, he found him crouched against a wall with his head resting on his knees. He raised his blonde head and glared at Spock with teary eyes.

"Do you know what this feels like, Spock?" Jim murmured, watching as Spock seated himself next to him without saying a word.

"Jim let me ex-

"It feels like maybe you were using me. Just like all the others who fuck me and run straight after. I mean couldn't you have waited a bit longer than a couple of hours to start bedding the next cadet? I never thought you'd be like that. As bad as my exes, as bad as…" Jim inhaled sharply at this point, frowning heavily.

"As bas as Robbie Anderson." He whispered, wiping tears from his eyes.

Spock gasped at this accusation.

"Jim, how could you say that? How can I, in any way, be compared to _him_?" Spock asked.

"He fucked me and left me to pick up the pieces while he got on with his life. Which is what you did. You fucked me last night, made me think that you loved me, like we were going to be together again, and then a few hours later there you are with a heap of girl-tongue in your mouth, working your way into her knickers. Classy move. At least get the first date out of your flat before you bring the second one back, huh?"

Jim replied bitterly, looking sideways at Spock as he sputtered at what Jim was saying.

"Jim, I _do_ love you. What you saw was not what it looked like." Spock said, taking a deep breath and trying not to let the insults get to him.

"Oh, is that right? Well, it looked like she was kissing you and molesting you; is that not what happened?" Jim responded, as heavy sarcasm and cynicism fogged his clear mind.

"She _was_ kissing me. And touching me. But it meant nothing. It is you I care about, that I love. Besides, from the conversation I heard you having with your friend back when I came to visit you in Iowa, you were hardly celibate in the time we were apart. How can you have such a reaction to a kiss when you have done much worse and much more with complete strangers while inebriated?" Spock countered stoically.

"What? How can you bring that up now? Yeah, I fucked a lot and drank a lot to get over the fact that I had just lost the love of my life. But it took months for me to actually feel not like a complete shit-head for sleeping with other people, and the first person I slept with after you? I fucking cried the entire time because they couldn't compare to you by a long shot and I felt so guilty. Didn't know that, did you?"

Jim said tersely, standing up and starting to pace.

"Jim, I just feel that you are being a hypocrite for berating me for a kiss when you went much further with more people, from what I could gather. Can you not give me the, as you humans say, 'benefit of the doubt'?" Spock pleaded, watching Jim wander back and forth.

"You know what? Yeah, I am a hypocrite and yeah, as you so nicely suggested, I am a raging whore. And I _can't_ give you the benefit of the doubt. I don't want to hear you apologise or chastise me for doing the only thing I could to move on from the greatest relationship in my life. I don't think I can handle being with someone that thinks of me like that. A hypocritical whore, worthy of one or two fucks before you move on to the next willing and suitably loose-moralled cadet in a tight red uniform who bats their eyelashes! Fuck you!" Jim said with an air of finality. He stopped pacing and walked away, leaving Spock still sitting on the floor.

Jim walked and walked, tears falling again as he made his way to his room. He had just broken up with Spock. He'd said he was like Robbie Anderson! He wasn't really sure if he meant it, or any of the other cruel things he'd said. He was just angry and upset and hurting.

The revelation that Spock was there in Starfleet and the subsequent sex had been amazing and mind-blowing and beautiful. And then his bubble had been painfully burst by some slag cadet who was making her way into Spock's pants, if she hadn't been fucking him for weeks and Jim had just been a pleasant distraction from Spock's serial cadet-fucking habits!

Spock raced after Jim, not wanting it to be the end of their relationship. He took hold of Jim's arm and spun him around, staring into his blue eyes, desperation swimming in his own brown ones.

"Jim, this cannot be the end of everything we had?" Spock whispered heatedly, his heart breaking at the contemptuous look Jim was giving him.

"I'm sorry Spock." was all Jim said before breaking free of Spock's hold and walking away.

Jim walked to his room, tears threatening to spill the entire time. He was glad to find that Bones wasn't there; he wasn't really in the mood to talk about it. He kicked off his shoes and huddled up under his bed covers, closing his eyes against his broiling mind.

_Spock was laid back on a desk, Uhura seated firmly atop his writhing body. But he was enjoying himself, no doubt about that. She kissed her way down his chest, eliciting quiet grunts and groans from the vulcan, he bucked his narrow hips up into hers, feeling her wetness through her skimpy underwear. She closed her eyes and rutted back, watching as a heavy blush graced the professor's angular cheekbones. She threw her head back and laughed, turning towards the doorway of the room, where a distraught Jim was standing. She looked right into his teary eyes and laughed harshly again, winking at him most disgustingly._

Jim awoke with a start, his horrible dream making him feel ten times shittier that before. He really hoped that Spock wasn't fucking her. That it might just have been an innocent kiss. Maybe he'd confused her and she got the wrong idea?

Who was he really kidding thinking that though? Of course they were fucking. Of course Spock didn't care about him. He was just something to distract himself with until something better came along in a short dress.

Was Spock right to call him out on his less-than-restrained sex life in between Spock leaving and Starfleet? Was he just as much of an immoral person as Spock was? But Spock had left him, and he couldn't really expect Jim to wait for him forever, could he?

Betrayed. Betrayed by another person just trying to get into his pants, although this time it hurt more than it ever had before. He and Spock had dated for those few days, spending the entire days just with each other, learning about their cultures and holding hands and kissing. They'd slept together too, not just fucking in a dirty alley way or at a club. Actually slept together, and kissed and hugged and loved.

Well Jim had loved. He now doubted whether any of it was actually real at all. Normally when a bed mate moved on it didn't hurt too badly, Jim always knew the score with them…all he was was a one night stand. He didn't normally have any emotional connection to them.

But it was different with Spock; he'd teased him with the prospect of forever and love and then snatched it all away by shoving his tongue (and hopefully not other body parts) into that bitch's mouth.

He pulled himself up into a sitting position, pulling his knees into his chest and letting himself cry openly. It started out slight, and contained. Until his brain decided to bombard him with images of everything he'd lost. This just caused him to cry harder, his chest heaving and tears spilling over his cheeks with abandon. He was too wrapped up in it to notice Bones making his way into the room, carrying a pile of textbooks. As soon as he saw the state Jim was in he dropped the books onto his desk and marched over, sitting on the bed at Jim's feet and looking into his young friend's face.

"Jim? Jimmy? Jesus what happened to ya? Did someone do somethin'?" the doctor asked, placing a hand on Jim's shoulder and shaking him lightly. Jim threw himself into his friend's arms, without any explanation. Bones just held him until the sobs subsided, he knew Jim would tell him eventually and he would be patient until then.

"B-bones I'm sorry. You c-can get back to your work, I'm just being st-stupid." Jim stuttered out quietly, wiping his eyes on his sleeve, letting a little sad smile cross his face. Bones didn't make any move to go though. He looked down at the other man, a look of 'yeah, I'm not going anywhere' in his eyes.

"No, Jim. If something's upset you this much it has to be a big deal. Is it okay to ask what happened?" the older man asked tentatively. He watched as renewed tears came to Jim's eyes, but he nodded minutely.

"You know Professor Spock? He teaches linguistics and languages? Well I have this sort of- it's complicated to explain…he and I…uh…before I came to Starfleet he and I were…well I thought we were but maybe not now…we were together for a while." Jim explained slowly, in between taking heaving breaths and wiping tears away.

His room mate raised a dark eyebrow at the last words.

"As in, _together_ together?" he asked curiously, watching Jim to gauge his reactions. Another minute nod was what he received in response.

"He was in Iowa with me for a week, and it was amazing…we hit it off straight away…and I went all the way with him…and I loved him. but he had to go back home to vulcan…so it was over….and then I came to Starfleet and I found out the other night that he worked here…you know? When I was talking to Chekov and then ran out? I slept with him last night, Bones." Jim babbled, his words coming out faster than normal.

"You slept with a professor? Seriously?" Bones retaliated, looking confused.

"Well yeah I guess. But to me he wasn't _Professor _Spock, he was just Spock; just my Spock from that week in Iowa. Just the boy I'd fallen in love with. We hadn't spoken in a year or so and I though I'd never see him again. And it just led on to sex, not that I minded." Jim was still speaking in a constant stream, barely above a whisper.

"So you found out he was here and slept with him, so what happened to make you upset? He didn't…uh…rape you did he? I can get him fired if he laid a finger on you without your consent. Jim you have to tell me what he did to you so I can beat the shit out of him." Bones replied, anger bubbling in his greenish eyes. Jim shook his head vigorously at the last suggestions.

"No. he didn't rape me. Nothing like that. I _wanted_ to sleep with him, Bones. So after I slept with him he had to go and teach, so I went to see him after his lecture, and I got there and…and there was this girl cadet…she…and they were…I mean after everything…and he was…she had her tongue in his mouth…he was kissing her!" jim said, his voice faltering towards the end, turning into a broken whine.

Bones knew exactly what Jim was feeling, the same thing had happened with his ex wife, except that they had a daughter who was three years old at the time. His wife had cheated on him with the post man (yeah, actually the post man) for months before he'd found out. Apparently every time he was working late at the hospital and their daughter Joanna went to the babysitter's Jocelyn would call the dick around to the house and make the most of the privacy…and comfortable mattress. Bitch.

"Oh, Jim. I'm sorry man. That Spock seems like a total jackass! If he can't see how amazing you are then maybe he doesn't deserve you? Huh?" Bones responded, ruffling the younger man's blonde hair. Jim looked up at him through teary blue eyes and smiled weakly.

"I just thought that he might've been different, you know? Like I'm used to being a dirty one night stand, but this seemed just…more real, and more substantial. Fuck! I'm so fucking stupid." He croaked out, wiping a hand over his eyes and sniffing loudly.

"Maybe you should talk to him about it? Find out what's going on with this girl?" bones suggested carefully, not wanting Jim to get upset again. Jim shook his head at the doctor's words.

"Nah, I don't think I could handle the truth. I don't want to know all the kinky details of their fucking. I'd just feel more depressed if I knew all the facts. I think I'm just gonna forget any of it ever happened and move on. Fuck him! and all the dirty sex he's going to have with that bitch!" Jim spat out, frowning as he recalled his dream.

"As long as you are holding up. The offer still stands of me beating seven shades out of him, if you ever feel that way inclined. He's a total douche for what he's done to ya, kiddo. He doesn't deserve you, if he's just going to mess with your emotions. Besides, half the academy are attracted to ya, you won't have any trouble finding someone else." The doctor replied, patting Jim's shoulder comfortingly, smiling slightly as Jim chuckled.

"Thanks, man. It's good to finally be able to talk to someone about all of this crap. Can you not tell anyone else though, I don't wanna get in any shit for fucking a professor, douchebag or not, I don't want him to lose his job, I know his alternative and it's shitty at best." Jim said, thinking back to what Spock had said about his dad back on Vulcan. Yeah, he wouldn't wish that on anyone, even Spock.

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Spock had called up Jim's timetable on his personal PADD; he had done this to try and find Jim and explain to him about Uhura, about what had happened; to clear up Jim's misconceptions about his non-existent relationship with the troublesome over-confident and frankly over-bearing female. He did not enjoy the kiss one bit; it had been unwelcome and most unpleasant. Spock had become used to Jim's soft kisses, his full lips between his own and the feel of Jim's tongue swiping at his lower lip and plunging into his mouth.

So when Uhura had kissed him it was very different, disturbingly so. She was very forward in her actions, placing her hands on either side of him effectively trapping him, she kissed him roughly, forcing rather than requesting to slip her tongue between his lips. And not only that, she was uncommonly close to him and her leg had found its way between his own, pushing them apart slightly.

The entire encounter had been unwanted on Spock's part. Especially as it had caused Jim to hate him and terminate their only-just-rekindled relationship. This was the worst thing that could have happened, and it was only a few hours since he had been with Jim, seen him, fallen back in love with him. And now it was over.

Hence Spock memorising Jim's timetable to try and find a time he could discuss what had happened. Spock had attempted on more than 15 occasions in the last three weeks to try to talk to Jim, to see Jim. But every single time Jim was supposed to be somewhere, he managed to evade Spock. To say it was frustrating Spock was an understatement.

He decided he would try and speak to him in 10 minutes, when Jim finished his chemistry lecture and was then free the rest of the evening. Perhaps they could return to Jim or Spock's quarters to talk? He hoped Jim would feel less angrily towards him after he had time to reflect.

Walking in the direction of the chemistry lecture theatre he started to think about what he would say. Jim was very adamant that something more was occurring with Uhura. But it was not. What Jim was unaware of was the fact that Spock was trying to avoid _that woman_ at all costs. He would leave the linguistics lessons he taught as soon as the bell rang, so as not to give her another chance to corner him. He'd abstain from even looking in her direction the entire time. He knew she wanted to take it further, but he had absolutely no intention of allowing that to happen.

He also knew that asking her to stay behind after class so that he could explain that he was not and would never be interested in furthering the advances she wanted to make would only lead her to making more wrong assumptions.

The door opened and the cadets started to file out, professor Pike nodding in greeting as he passed by Spock. Spock nodded absentmindedly back, all the while searching the crowd for Jim. Then he saw him, he was talking to very-pretty dark haired man who had a rhythmic Irish accent. They were laughing and Jim seemed to be batting his golden eyelashes in the other man's direction, but Spock chose to overlook this.

He stepped forwards and Jim finally drew his eyes from his friend and looked at Spock for a moment.

"Cadet Kirk, may I speak with you in my office?" Spock asked in his stoic tones, adding no affection so as not to rouse suspicion.

"I guess so, _professor._" Jim replied, the word 'professor' never sounding more like 'dick' to Spock's ears. The blonde waved goodbye to his friend and followed Spock as he led him in the direction of his office.

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The walk to Spock's office was much more than awkward. It was tense and Jim hated tension. To tell the truth his hatred of tension had been the main reason he'd agreed to talk to Spock after all the avoiding he'd been engaging in recently. It really was tiring and stressful trying to always guess the Vulcan's moves and how his mind worked. So after three weeks he finally decided to give Spock the fucking 'benefit of the doubt', as he'd asked for all those days ago.

As much as he was hurting and betrayed, he wasn't going to be a dick for any longer. He would let Spock explain himself. Well maybe, if his temper and emotions didn't run away with him again. And if Spock even started to move towards telling him about how he was in a wonderful new relationship with that bitch he would run like hell and let Spock know how much it hurt.

Spock unlocked the door and held it open for Jim, raising an eyebrow in invitation. Damn him being so attractive! It was really hard (no pun intended) to be annoyed at him when he was standing there looking so cute and dejected. No! Fuck giving a crap! Spock didn't give a crap about him when that chick was propositioning him. Back to finding the deep hatred that he reserved deep in his head.

Jim leant against the wall, scrutinising Spock as he perched against his desk, looking resolutely at the ground.

"Well, come on then; out with it. I haven't got all day, Spock." Jim said after a few more minutes of silence and building awkwardness.

"Jim. I wish to clear up your incorrect thoughts about cadet Uhura and I. It was just a kiss and it meant nothing to me. In fact I found it most unpleasant. I did not as I believe you would put it 'lead her on' or encourage her behaviour, and subsequent to that incident I have avoided her at all costs. I assure you that what I feel for you has not changed, and will never do so." Spock replied curtly, his voice remaining surprisingly monotonous.

"I stand by what I said when it happened. We are over and it's staying that way. You showed me then that you thought I was just a wanton slut who jumped into bed with the nearest person as soon as you were away. That opinion shouldn't have even had much credibility anyway, seeing as _hours _after you and I had sex, you were already being kissed by someone else." Jim said, beginning to move away from the wall so he could have the conversation face to face.

"Jim, I was wrong to accuse you as I did. I had left; you had every right to move on. I just did not expect you to do so in such a vigorous way. Although, I forgive you for these actions." Spock countered, moving away from the desk and reaching out towards Jim.

"Forgive me? I didn't do anything that warrants your _forgiveness_!I made decisions to sleep with those people, as a single guy with no commitments. When you left we were over. You know what? It's not even the kissing Uhura thing that's bothering me anymore. So she kissed you? It's not like you're fucking her, right? Right?" the last word was a worried question rather than a brash confident statement. He looked up at Spock, needing to know the answer to that question.

The Vulcan shook his head in disgust at the notion.

"I was being honest when I told you earlier that all that happened was that kiss. I would not keep something like that from you, jim."

Jim's gaze flashed angrily at that.

"Are you implying that I lied to you? That I kept all of my escapades in Iowa from you? Because, really, how would you have wanted to be told about that? I didn't want you to view me as you do now; insatiable needy nymphomaniac whose urges need sating at the drop of a hat. It's killing me having you see me that way. It physically hurts when you look at me and see that person." Jim's voice was starting to break, and he could feel tears stinging at the corners of his eyes.

Spock moved forwards again, confliction in his eyes at whether to stay put or take his Jim into his arms and assure him that all he was saying wasn't true.

"It's that that's pissed me off. That's hurt me and is still hurting. You don't trust me not to cheat on you; you don't think I can commit to you. Yet I have given _no_ indication that I am that person anymore, that I _could_ even do that to you. And yet it flickers in your subconscious and you let it show in your eyes. It _kills me_ Spock, it really does!" Jim carried on talking, knowing that he wouldn't be able to get all of this across if he let emotions take over.

Spock stepped back, feeling guilty and saddened by what Jim was saying.

"Jim, I do not think those things of you. As I said I was wrong to bring up what happened after I had left. I…do not know what to say other than I love you. And if I ever doubted you or your loyalties then I was again incorrect. Please, Jim."

Spock said, his mind reeling at the intensity of the situation.

"Please what? Please stop telling the truth so you can feel less guilty? I can't do this with you. I can't cope with us, especially with this massive trust issue between us. You can't just turn on the Vulcan charm and talk me right back into your bed, Spock. You betrayed me, not by kissing that fucking girl, hell! I don't give a crap about her. But by believing the same thing every other bastard who sleeps with me does; that I'm worthless, that I'm dirty and cheap and can't keep it in my pants at the slightest flash of tail. I just thought you were different Spock, I just thought you would rise above all that shit." Jim said with an air of finality, moving closer to Spock and stroking a tan finger down his cheekbone. The Vulcan keened towards his warm touch, his eyelids fluttering closed.

"I am sorry Jim. That I let those thoughts project onto you is unforgiveable. I realised too late that I was entirely wrong about you. I will miss you." Spock murmured as Jim turned and walked towards his office door.

"Too little too late, like you said. Oh, and I owe you an apology for saying you were like Robbie Anderson; that was way out of line, sorry. Please don't torture me anymore by trying to talk or following my timetable like a hawk. This stuff is hard enough without having to be reminded of what I lost left, right and centre. It could have been so fucking good too. I'm sorry you couldn't see past all the shit and I'm sorry I wasn't pure and honest enough for you. I'm genuinely going to miss you too. Despite everything." Jim smiled somewhat sadly as a tear spilled silently down his cheek. He opened the door to the office and walked out, not looking back.

In this act of not looking back he missed the fact that the usually-in-control Vulcan was also crying, his face flushed pale green. The door closed with a quiet click and Spock was left alone to his thoughts.

Spock did as Jim asked though; no more following his timetable, no more attempts to explain. It was done with. It was all over. And the feeling of a hole having been ripped through Spock's chest was just a burden he would have to carry. He had allowed his judgemental and calculating scientific character to filter through his mind. He had made a snap judgment at finding out about Jim's 'activities' between him leaving and returning to earth. And worse than that, Jim had noticed his distaste, something Spock never would have associated with his Jim.

But he was not _his_ Jim anymore. He was just James Tiberius Kirk; another cadet among all the others. It did not matter that Spock still had the strongest loving feelings for the human boy; Jim had repressed his mutual feelings, or rid himself of them in punishment and misery. And they were no longer a couple. No longer together and no longer in love. Spock found himself single and alone, and threatening to drown in his self-loathing.

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The kobayashi had just been completed a week previous, apparently its creator had worked extra hard on it. Jim didn't know who made it but he was preparing to take it the following day at 5:30pm. He wasn't sure what to expect from it, but he knew it was a form of simulator, and apparently difficult to pass. There was the challenge; there was something for him to focus on.

After the Spock debacle, and his subsequent coping mechanism (of sleeping with lots of guys in order to forget the amazing sex he and the Vulcan had had) he really needed something to focus on.

Months and months had passed since that day when he had caught the love of his life kissing another, but it still hurt a little when he would see her or Spock around campus or in the corridors. He made a definite point of avoiding the linguistics lecture halls, even going as far as taking massive detours to not have to walk there. Like right now for instance, he was walking around the back of the economics building along a grass bank, making his way to the café to meet his friend (and casual friend with benefits if he was feeling that way inclined) Gaila.

She was a vivacious and boisterous Orion girl with green skin and bright twinkling blue eyes. She was loud and funny and easy to get along with; hence their almost instant friendship after being paired together on a chemistry assignment.

He reached the café and looked around for her; he spotted her instantly, her green skin and auburn hair standing out against the dull colours. He smiled widely at her and made his way over; she jumped up and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. He hugged her back, enjoying having such a simple relationship with her. It always worked out, and even after they had sex they easily slipped back into being friends again. Sex didn't make it complicated or emotional or connected. It made it concrete and functional. This was foreign for Jim. Normally sex just made everything a heap more painful (emotionally) and disconnecting from his bed partners a hell of a lot harder. So for there to be one sexual relationship he could rely on really was a godsend.

He had friendships that he'd made that he could rely on too; like Bones, and Chekov and Sulu and a guy called Gary Mitchell. Gary was more of a fuck-buddy if Gaila was busy or he couldn't be bothered to trek across campus to the bars and clubs to pick someone up, and a drinking buddy if Bones and Sulu were busy. But he was there for Jim when he needed him, and he was amazing at explaining things in a way Jim understood.

He and Gaila chatted about the kobayashi maru, she was going to be taking it with him, and he was really thankful for the support. She whacked three books down on the table and started to point out things that might help him pass the test; he really did have so much respect for her at that moment. He couldn't keep the smile off his face the entire time as he watched her twirl a piece of her curly hair around her finger, and her thick-framed glasses wobbled on the bridge of her nose as she giggled at something he'd said. That was when Spock walked into the café.

Jim happened to look at the door as he walked in, his face falling instantly as he saw the Vulcan. They locked gazes for a moment, Spock's face crumpling a little in hurt as he made his way to a seat at the back of the place. Jim followed him with his blue eyes, not knowing whether it was a good or bad thing that Spock's gaze had wavered after a few seconds.

The good atmosphere that had settled around Gaila and himself had dissipated rapidly at the appearance of Spock, as if the temperature had dropped dramatically and the sun had set. Fuck! Why did he still let what had happened get to him? He made his excuses and left Gaila to her studying, walking out of the café and back to his dorm room. What he didn't notice was Spock's dark eyes trained on his back as he made his way out.

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He was sitting at the fake captain's chair the next evening; the kobayashi maru simulation was just about to start up; now he was nervous. Gaila gave him a reassuring grin from her fake station a few metres away and he felt his nerves decrease a little. Though only a little.

It turned out that actually there wasn't a way to pass the bloody thing. Any captainly decisions Jim fake-made just ended up leading to another crisis for the kobayashi maru, either getting shot at by the klingon ships or his fake-crew getting injured. It was a really hard test; and he really didn't see much point in it. The entire fake crew slumped in their chairs as the test was deemed failed half an hour later.

Spock watched the scene, as Jim made calculated and intelligent movements and decisions. The crew he had assembled worked well together. It was a shame that the test was created to be unwinnable, for he would have liked to see Jim's radiant smile.

He attempted to keep professional throughout, trying not to let his feelings for Jim bleed through his calm exterior. If he could recreate the test so Jim could succeed he would have.

He nodded to his colleagues and left the examination room without another word, taking a final second or so just to look at Jim as he fidgeted in the chair in the simulation below. With a resigned sigh he slipped out of the building and walked back to his quarters. His eyes stung slightly and his throat felt constricted.

He shouldn't allow seeing Jim to have such an effect on him. Normally he could forget about what had happened between the human and himself, avoid those blue eyes as they passed each other in the corridors, detach himself from all the pain and aching thinking about Jim caused.

But watching him in the simulation just reminded him of all that he'd found attractive about Jim back in that roller skating rink in Iowa; the hair, the skin, the freckles, the smile, the laugh, just everything. And it reminded him that he had lost it all too. That he would never be able to see all of those things in their full glory again. Misery swamped him as he let himself into his apartment and settled on the corner of his bed. If he had been one to curse he would have done then.

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Jim made his way from the room, a little angry with himself for not being able to win that damn test. He didn't believe in no-win scenarios; there just had to be a way, a turn of events that allowed the kobayashi a fighting chance against the klingons.

"It's alright jimmy boy! Dontcha worry your pretty little head about it. We will read up on it some more and try to figure it out. But right now we are going to go to that bar in the city and get drunk, right?" Gaila said, slinging a slender arm around his waist and kissing him on the cheek.

Jim nodded heartily as his mind was already working on how to beat the damn thing. Whoever created it must have been out to get the cadets, just loving to mess with their heads and get their hopes up.

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Months passed by and Jim was starting to get somewhere with working over that kobayashi maru test. Although it really didn't help that Spock worked in the library as they kept running into each other in between the dusty shelves. If they'd been together still then maybe they'd have had some kinky fun meeting up on the top floor of the old building, that would have resulted with walking gingerly down the staircase after hastily replacing differently-coloured uniforms, and leaving a lot of books on the floor after shoving each other into the shelves.

But, as it was, they weren't together, and meeting Spock there was awkward and painful and just made Jim feel crappy and distracted for the rest of the day. It was one of the largest hindrances to his simulation-research. So he left Gaila to get the books and bring them back to his room, so they could fool around (and maybe get some work done if they could stay focused long enough).

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The second time Jim and Gaila tried passing the test it was more of a scope-out mission than actually wanting to pass or fail it. They were trying to wrap their heads around the kind of technology it worked on, the programme its creator had used, and possible ways of hacking/changing it about so it _might_ just be winnable. Gary and Bones had also been employed to their ends as well, which just meant more intelligent minds on the case.

So when they failed it again, the fake-crew weren't all that bothered about it. They feigned annoyance for the examiners, and, yeah they went out drinking again afterwards. But this time they had gotten the nitty gritty information on the programming codes. Jim had distracted the examiners by doing all manner of crazy things, while Gaila worked her technological magic on the simulator and noted down the codes and details they would need for their next attempt.

Jim thanked whatever deity was looking down on him for managing to be friends with such an awesome girl. Spock had kept a stern eye on Jim this time too, noting his renewed confidence and vigour, despite having failed the test again. It was one of the things that had drawn him to Jim in the first place, the thing he'd found most endearing about the human, as well as all of his other perfections. He left the simulation room feeling as crappy as he'd done the first time.

A month and a half went by where Spock didn't see Jim at all, not in the library or the halls or any of the places he usually hung out on campus. He'd seen him walking in the direction of his accommodation once.

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Jim spent the next 3 months working on the way he'd decided to win that test. He was going to install a subroutine to change its conditions; this would allow the klingon shields to be infiltrated, allowing them to be fired upon without resistance.

He holed himself up in his quarters, creating the programme codes and figurations he would need to get away with it. Bones and Chekov and sometimes Gaila would come and work with him on it, but really he'd tried to keep it to himself, it was dangerous to involve more people in his semi-illegal actions. If anyone was going to get in shit for it; it would be him and him alone. He wasn't going to take loyal friends down with him

when Gaila told him she wouldn't be able to make it to the third test he'd been a little bummed out, she kept him positive and smiling when he was feeling like shit. But it had actually worked out for the best that way. He decided to use her absence to their advantage. He'd programmed the subroutine to crash the test and reboot it with the changed conditions, and he needed something to jump start it all. So he would fake-upset Gaila and then send her an apology note with the codes embedded within it.

Her opening the message at the right time would trigger the hack. So even though Gaila couldn't be there in person, she was the most important component, besides the hack itself.

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"I love you." Gaila whispered as she writhed beneath a nearly-naked Jim. They were kissing feverishly and he was leaning right over her on his hands and knees.

"That is so weird." Jim replied absentmindedly, his mind completely elsewhere. He had to act out this part perfectly so he could set phase one of his new beating-the-crappy-kobayashi-test plan.

She sat up abruptly, pushing him backwards, commanding the lights to come on.

"Did you just say 'that is so weird'? What? You don't love me too?" Gaila said, a little affronted by Jim's unattached response.

"No, I do. It's just, I've got a lot on my plate at the moment. It's not you." Jim explained, really trying to think of some things to say that might upset her, but not enough that she would actually hate him.

She raised her ginger eyebrows at him, before looking him up and down. that look always got jim going. But he really needed to set up phase one before he could do anything more with her.

"I need you to do something for me, babe. You know I'm no good with words, so I'm going to send you a _note _explaining why I'm a bit distracted right now. But you have to open it at 5:30 tomorrow, not before. Okay?" Jim explained, placating his friend/lover with light kisses to her lips and neck and collarbone.

She cradled his blonde head in her hand, running her fingers through his short hair.

"Uh, sure. Are you planning someth- oh god that feels good!" she moaned and arched her back as he placed light kisses over her breasts and down over her taut stomach, dipping his talented tongue into her belly button and circling the silver piercing there.

The thought of what Jim was planning drifted from her head as he continued to do sinful things with that tongue of his. She was a little saddened that she couldn't be there to see the great hacking-plan Jim had devised in action; she had a seminar for her engineering class that the lecturer had set up unexpectedly, so she wouldn't be able to get there for 5:15. It sucked. But at least she had the message from Jim to look forward to.

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Spock was standing in the examination room once more, looking down on the now-familiar fake-captain and his assembled crew. H noticed the lack of the Orion girl with vague interest. His main attention focused on the blonde-haired blue-eyed captain.

Even after all the exposure he had had to the human, the pain didn't dissipate at seeing him again, and the longing in his very bones didn't stop either. He stared into the resolute blue eyes as they looked upwards, as if he was looking right at Spock. Of course the cadet _couldn't_ see him through the two-way glass, but he oh-so-wished that he could see love blossom in those blue eyes as it often had when they had been together.

Spock concluded that, while he was proud of creating the kobayashi maru, it was torturing him for Jim to so badly want to pass it. That Jim was stubborn and determined enough to keep returning. He didn't know what his strong will was doing to Spock's resolve; it was crumbling it into tiny pieces every second Jim sat there, and every second Spock watched him.

**Holy crap this is a hell of a long chapter!**

**and sorry it too so frigging long for it to get done, I got bogged down with essays, and the dialogue has been annoying me for ages (I still don't think it's okay, but I give up trying to fix it) and I got writer's block with the plot…a lot of issues with it tbh**

**Spock and jim go through some turmoil and then break up **

**The kobayashi maru features a fair bit too, and Gaila comes up (who I found I really love writing)**

**Just working my story into some of the movie stuff (to prove I'm not veering completely off-canon)**

**Hopefully it is ok x **


	13. Chapter 13

**ROLLERSKATNG 13**

Jim was feeling confident; he glanced around at his fake crew and smiled. The message had been sent to Gaila earlier that day and all she had to do was open it in about 10 minutes.

He'd made up some compelling arguments for being distracted, and that he was very sorry for saying 'that is so weird' when he should have said 'I love you back'. He'd said all the necessary sentiments to make sure Gaila didn't hate him. He'd also promised her some make-up sex that would rock her world.

The test started up a few minutes later, and Jim allowed a relaxed feeling to wash over him.

Bones spoke from his place at his fake station:

"Two Klingon war birds have entered the Neutral Zone and are locking weapons on us."

"That's okay." Jim retorted, playing his confident streak up to the level that he sounded smug.

"That's okay?" Bones replied, sounding a little exasperated. Jim would have to buy him a big bottle of bourbon for playing his part so damn well.

"Yeah, don't worry about it." Jim decided to just ham it up too, throwing out his comments in the most blaze way possible.

"Three more Klingon warbirds decloaking and locking onto our ship. I don't suppose this is a problem either?" Their comments flicked back and forth easily, and it was all working perfectly. Bones met Jim's eyes and he read the smirk on the blonde's full lips easily, nodding minutely.

****"They're firing, captain." One of the other fake crew members reported seriously. Jim turned his expression to a cocky yet thoughtful one and replied easily.

"Alert Medical bay to receive _all_ crew members from the damaged ship." He raised his eyebrows at the crew around him, his smile not slipping for one second.

Then Jim heard a response that made his blood run cold. Her voice was sneering and uppity and he had to use everything he had not to charge across the simulation stage and rip her hair out.

"And how do you expect us to rescue them when we're surrounded by Klingons, _captain_?" the last word was dripping in sarcasm and Jim found he really did hate her quite a lot. It wasn't just the spock-stealing thing; she was just a condescending up-herself, conceited, arrogant-

Jim cut off those thoughts, taking a deep breath as he kept his unfaltering smirk upon his young face.

"Alert Medical." Jim replied, staring into her cruel dark eyes as he heaped as much derision as she had used.

****"Our ship's being hit. Shields are at sixty percent." Bones said a moment later, drawing Jim's attention from his death-stare match with the boyfriend-stealing cadet.

****"I understand. "Jim replied nonchalantly, watching bones huff and throw his hands up. At the end of all this Jim really had to recommend the drama association to bones, he was amazing at playing the unsuspecting friend of a conspirator.

****"Well, should we - oh, I dunno - fire back?" the surly Georgian replied from his station. Jim pulled an apple out of his pocket as he shook his head in negative.

"nah."

****"Of course not." Bones breathed out, shaking his own head in feigned disbelief.

****It was at this point that Gaila opened her message from jim, and the entire simulation shut down around them. The screens flickered for a few seconds and chaos erupted in the faces of all those present. Until they came back into order and normality was restored.

"Hmm. Arm photons, prepare to fire on the Klingon warbirds." Jim said into the settling silence that had fallen.

****"Jim, their shields are still up!" Bones called out to him, swivelling in his chair. Jim smiled as he knew their plan had worked. Bones also knew it had worked, but he waited for Jim to take the bait.

"Are they?" Jim asked smoothly back, raising those golden eyebrows again. Bones played the part perfectly, making Jim feel a swell of pride towards his best friend.

"No... They're not." Came the reply a moment later. Jim flicked into captain mode, even though inside of his head he was cheering and whooping like a kid.

"Fire on all enemy ships. One photon each should do it. No sense in wasting ammunition." Jim commanded to one of the other members. The bewildered crew man carried out his order and reported back.

"Aye, sir. Target locked and acquired on all warbirds. Firing." Jim watched the screens as they showed the war birds being destroyed by their weaponry, smiling a little wider as the crewman reported 'All targets destroyed, sir'.

"Begin rescue of the stranded crew. So, we've managed to eliminate all enemy ships, no one on board was injured and the successful rescue of the Kobayashi Maru crew is... underway." Jim reeled off his crew's triumph as he lifted the green apple to his lips and taking a large bite. 

"How did that guy beat your test?" one of the other examiners asked, turning to Spock with a confused look on his face. Spock was looking just as baffled by the strange turn of events, he frowned and did his best to ignore the radiant smile Jim was flashing his friends.

"I do not know." Was the clipped response Spock gave, allowing his confusion to overtake the feelings of attraction to Jim.

Jim and his fake crew left the room feeling elated, they had actually managed to successfully hack the test, the subroutine they had spent weeks creating had worked and they managed to save the crew and not fake die in the process. Jim was on a real high at actually managing to achieve his goal. He hated having to believe that things were unwinnable; he always made the most of the crappiest situations, hence hacking the kobayashi maru test.

Three hours later Jim, Gaila and Bones and a few other friends they managed to persuade were all quite drunk in a club. They felt bad about having to leave little Chekov behind, but they promised they would take him out for a meal sometime to make up for it, poor kid genius not allowed out with the legal adults.

Gaila was at the bar drinking colourful shot after colourful shot with Bones and a couple of other guys, Sulu was being propositioned by a couple of guys in leather (and he didn't seem to mind to much).

Jim was currently being kissed breathless by a very horny blonde girl named Nellie who was pressing him into a nearby wall and grinding her hips against his.

"Ooh, unf baby. You're so fucking hot. I need you in me right now! So fucking horny! Need you, mmm, oh god!" she whispered heatedly, emphasising her words with some harder thrusts against his groin. Well, who was he to deny such a nice request?

Jim manoeuvred himself and the girl into the corridor on the way to the toilets. She shoved him against a wall hard and started kissing her way down his jaw and neck.

"Somewhere more private? Bathroom stall okay with you?" Jim panted, as she ran her painted fingernails up inside his t-shirt making him shiver slightly.

"Yes, perfect for me, darling." She whispered back, allowing Jim to lead her into the boy's bathroom and into an empty cubicle. As soon as they were inside he pushed her up against the door, locking it as he did so. Then he proceeded to stroke his talented hands all over her body, finally finding her dripping wet pussy.

He stroked the moist entrance slowly, until she whined in frustration. A few seconds later he had her coming undone, three fingers thrusting in and out as he toyed her clit with his thumb.

"Enough of the fingers. Need your cock now! Nooow! Please baby?" Nellie whined again. That was all the come-on he needed, he unzipped the tight skinny jeans he was wearing and shimmied them down his hips along with his boxers. She spread her knees and she watched him with half-lidded eyes as he applied a condom that he slipped from his back pocket onto his rock hard cock.

He thrust into her warmth slowly, listening to her keening moans as her back arched and she frowned at the intrusion. She looped her stocking-covered legs around his waist and ground down until he was fully sheathed within her. They moaned in unison as he sped up his movements.

Moments later she was screaming his name as he released inside her. He pulled out, threw the condom in the rubbish and kissed her on the forehead.

"Fuck! That was amazing, Jim! Lemme give you my number and we can hook up again some time?" she panted as she pulled her dress down covering her naked lower half. She took his phone from his jeans (which he had pulled up from around his ankles) and added her number.

"Yeah, awesome. Thanks, Nell. I guess I'll see you around." He replied, kissing her on the lips gently and unlocking the bathroom stall. He could hear her limping steps behind him. He felt a wave of drunkenness hit him as he staggered back to the dance floor with a grin on his face. He crashed straight into a bunch of guys sitting around a table doing shots of Jack Daniels. He ended up in one of their laps, with his head spinning and a pink blush on his cheekbones.

"Hey Duncan, you were just saying how you needed a cute guy to fall into your lap! Looks like tonight's your lucky night!" one of the other guys commented in a low jeering voice, laughing raucously with his friends.

Jim sat up looking into a pair of olivey-green eyes ringed with eyeliner. It seemed he was just on a run of good luck tonight!

"Fuck! I'm so sorry! I'll just go and die of embarrassment somewhere." Jim said quietly, removing himself from the gorgeous man's lap still blushing.

"Wait a second darlin', you dunnae have to feel embarrassed; everyone's a lil' bit drunk right now. Maybe you can buy me a drink to make up for it?" Duncan said in a slightly slurred Scottish accent. If Jim had had proper control over his mind he might have melted at the lilt of Duncan's voice coupled with his beautiful face.

"Oh…uh…yeah sure." Jim replied quite dumbly. He had a proper chance to take in the guy's appearance, his eyes raked over the lithe body, he was wearing a sleeveless top with the Guns 'n' Roses symbol across the chest, some very skinny dark jeans and knee high leather boots. He had a few tattoos scattered up and down his muscular sinewy arms and at the tips of his thin fingers his nails were painted black. Through the thin t-shirt Jim could make out nipple piercings, causing him to smile wickedly; he really wanted to wrap his mouth around those pierced nipples. Jim probably should have been worried about how horny a few drinks made him, but as he was led to the bar by the very hot Duncan he found he really didn't care.

"so darlin', you seem really buzzed tonight; you celebratin' or somethin'?" Duncan asked as they waited to be served. As he talked, Jim noticed a green tongue bar flashing backwards and forwards.

"Yeah, me and my friends hacked this test and beat the bastard! It was totally awesome and left all the examiners totally tripped. You here for anything special?" Jim replied as steadily as he could manage.

The Scottish boy shook his head as he explained that he and his friends were just on a night out. Jim was tantalised by him; his hair was shaved, except for a slightly longer Mohawk of caramel hair that ran down the middle of his head, both of his ears had lines of little rings and studs in them, which shone even in the dim light, and those eyes! They were so green and hypnotising.

"Dunnae worry about what me mates were saying earlier, they was just messin'. About the 'cute guy fallin' into me lap' thing. Didn't mean to embarrass ya or anythin'." Duncan said blushing a little (which made him look even more adorable).

"No, that's…don't worry about it." Jim replied, running a hand through his blonde hair and smiling his stunning smile.

"Not that I dunnae think you're cute…oh fuck! I jus' meant that…you know what I mean? And not that I didn't appreciate you being in my lap 'cause-…I'll just shut up now." The Scottish hottie babbled for a moment or two, his blush returning full flow.

Jim reached out and caught Duncan's hand in his, entwining their fingers.

"I know what you meant, love. Don't worry your pretty head about it." Duncan looked at their joined hands and smiled.

"What can I get you boys?" the barmaid asked, flicking her pink and purple dreadlocks away from her face.

"I'll have a tequila slammer and…what are you drinking babe?" Jim asked, turning to Duncan who was swaying to the music slightly.

"Oh…uh I'll have a scotch please, if that's ok with you? I mean, you're buying." Duncan asked, Jim nodded and ordered a scotch. He passed the money over and handed the glass to the other, smiling as his head swam in a pleasant way.

He sat at the bar talking to Duncan for what felt like hours. It was so easy to just talk to him, and he found himself discussing Starfleet, and Iowa and drinking and friends. He avoided the topic of past relationships, a; because he didn't want to talk about a certain cheating Vulcan and b; because it was always a touchy subject. Duncan told him all about his brother and sister in Scotland, and how he had moved to San Francisco with his band to try and make their fortune, and how he always made the massive trip back for the holidays.

After their fifth drink each Jim slipped off his bar stool and took the plunge, leaning in and kissing the gorgeous Scottish man full on the lips. Thankfully he responded positively, pushing his pierced tongue into Jim's mouth, bringing the sharp taste of whiskey with it, not that Jim minded AT ALL. The kiss became more heated as he was practically lifted onto Duncan's lap and he wrapped his arms around his neck for support. He felt warm hands run down his back and slip just under the waistband of his jeans.

They kissed for what seemed like an eternity, breathing through their noses as their lips parted and tongues slipped over each other in an invigorating way.

When they finally broke apart they were both grinning like Cheshire cats as they got their breaths back. He climbed off of Duncan's lap and his heart almost broke at the disappointed look on the Scottish man's face. He stroked the back of his tan fingers over his cheekbone and placed another kiss on his lips.

"Not leaving you alone just yet. You wanna come back to my place?" Jim managed as the scot stared at him with those brilliant-green eyes. He nodded emphatically and jumped down from his own stool. Jim grasped his hand and pulled him onto the dance floor to find Gaila, Bones and Sulu.

He found them, thankfully all in the same booth, downing some neon-yellow liquid. They all looked up at him as they slammed their shot glasses down, wincing and coughing slightly.

"Hey, guys. I just wanted to tell you that I'm gonna head back to the dorm room, feel free to stay out though." He said, trying to be heard over the music. They all looked past him at Duncan, who was still holding his hand.

"He's really cute, Jimmy. Good call on taking him back with you. Just don't do anything I wouldn't do." Gaila said, leaning forward and whispering as she winked and raised her ginger eyebrows. He blushed but smiled.

"That's hardly a good warning…there's practically nothing you 'wouldn't do'. Just wear a condom and don't do anything too stupid or adventurous. You've got engineering tomorrow at 10:30, remember?" Bones said in the same whispered tone.

Jim nodded and chuckled in response.

"Yeah, okay, _dad_! We'll try not to be too loud." Jim whispered back, winking.

The walk back to Starfleet was an eventful one, with Jim and Duncan unable to keep their hands off each other. Duncan pushed him into an alleyway and his pierced tongue found its way between Jim's plump lips. Not that the cadet minded. After regaining the ability to move his limbs once the gorgeous man groped and pressed his hips into his and kissed and sucked and bit his way down Jim's neck, they eventually managed to find their way to Jim's accommodation block.

A sleepy-looking Chekov passed them in the corridor carrying a big pile of books. He was wearing pyjama bottoms and a baggy jumper and he didn't seem to notice Jim and Duncan making their drunken way up the stairs as he walked into the lift. Duncan and Jim both smiled at him thinking he was completely adorable.

As they made their way to the room, Jim found himself against the wall just outside his door, trying to search for his key card while the older boy pressed their bodies flush together and nuzzled into his neck, smiling against the tan skin.

"Ah…ah…let me just…oh god…unlock the door and we can move this…ah…inside?" Jim gasped out as Duncan palmed his hardening erection through his skinny jeans, licking the spot on Jim's collarbone where he had just bitten down.

Duncan looked up at Jim with his green eyes with wide-blown pupils, smiling wolfishly and nodding. He pulled completely away from Jim, who keened towards him at the loss.

"Y-yeah. Alrigh' then darlin'. Quick though; I dunnae think I can keep away from ya for very long." Duncan replied with a purr coating his Scottish lilt. Jim shivered and carried on fumbling in his back pockets for the card.

"Fuck! Let me help ya find it? What's it like?" Duncan asked after a few frustrated minutes watching Jim wiggling around and sighing.

"It's a little card in a plastic case." Jim said, smiling gratefully at the scot. A moment later and Duncan's long fingered hands were slipping into his back pockets, and jim closed his eyes and just enjoyed the proximity and feel of those fingers running over his ass.

"Got it!" Duncan exclaimed a second later, pulling it out and sliding it into the lock, grinning and holding the door for Jim. Jim raised his golden eyebrows at this; Duncan was holding _his own _dormitory door for him. Well, he needed to establish his manly top status pretty soon or Duncan was going to be pinning him into his own mattress.

As soon as they got inside and the door clicked shut, Jim pushed Duncan onto said mattress and straddled his waist. He wiggled his hips and watched as the Scot whimpered, eyes rolling backwards and a dark blush rising in his cheeks. Fuck! He was really hot all spread out and undone.

He leant up and kissed Jim on the mouth hard, Jim continued to buck his hips into the rock hard erection beneath him, loving the moans the older man was mewling into his mouth.

"Moan for me, baby." Jim whispered as he detached their lips and began to bite, lick and suck his way down Duncan's neck.

"Nngh… oh my god…yes!" was the response Jim got as he slid his hands into the front of Duncan's jeans, stroking the throbbing member through his boxers. While one hand was occupied on Duncan's cock, he slid the other one around to grab and spread his ass cheeks. The older man seemed to tense up a little as Jim ghosted his fingers lower down his ass towards his entrance. Duncan pulled himself together and took hold of the wrist of the hand that Jim was massaging his ass with and removed it.

"Sorry. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" Jim asked, sitting back a little and looking up into Duncan's eyes for explanation.

"No. ya didnae do anythin' wrong, and ya didnae hurt me. I just…I haven't ever…uh…I've never been…oh shit." Duncan stuttered his response blushing darkly again. Jim raised an eyebrow at him in interest, but shrugged it off, hearing the heavy i-don't-want-to-talk-about-it vibe the scot was emitting.

He kissed Duncan on the mouth as his hands worked the belt buckle, jean button and fly with his deft fingers. As Jim stood to allow Duncan to wiggle out of the jeans and remove his boots, he also stripped down to his boxers.

Duncan sat on the edge of the mattress and looked up into Jim's face, looking a little worried.

"You've never been…uh…what's the word? Penetrated by a guy before, am I right? You're normally a top?" Jim said slowly, seating himself gently in the other man's lap. Duncan wrapped his arms around Jim's waist and nodded as a blush rose up his cheeks again.

"I want to be though…the guys I'm normally with are pretty submissive…it'd be nice to mix it up a lil' bit. But you'll need to go slow…I need to be able to walk tomorrow; I've got a gig in the afternoon." Duncan said as he shifted until he was lying back on the mattress and Jim was straddling him again.

"I'll be gentle, promise." Jim soothed, running his hands down Duncan's sides and under the waistband of his boxers. The Scot looked up at him in encouragement as he stroked his hard dick and ran his thumb over a prominent vein on the underside. Jim lifted himself off of his lap and spread Duncan's legs, sitting cross-legged in between them. He pulled the boxers off his counterpart and watched as the cock twitched in the cooler air.

"Nngh…please…do something…touch me?" Duncan ground out as he looked down at Jim desperately. The cadet nodded and lunged forward, taking the head of Duncan's cock into his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. The Scot moaned at the sudden contact and bucked his hips up pushing more of his dick between Jim's sinful lips. As Jim bobbed his head up and down, he murmured his encouragement of Duncan's moaning against his searing dick.

"Ah...ah…oh fuck yes…God Jim!" Duncan whined as Jim swirled his tongue around and around. He stroked his hand up Duncan's chest, using his fingers to tweak both nipples on his way up to his mouth. Jim traced the lines of Duncan's lips before he caught on and lapped at them and sucked, covering them in saliva.

Jim lifted his head off of Duncan's dick as he placed a moistened finger at the Scot's entrance and felt the elder's entire body tense as he scooted backwards from the finger. Blue eyes met green ones as he stroked the dry hand over Duncan's inner thigh and up his side. He smiled up at him, encouraging him to trust Jim. After fear flickered in Duncan's eyes for another minute, he closed his eyes tight and nodded once.

Jim placed gentle kisses along the same thigh; he reached into his bedside cabinet and pulled out a condom and some lube. He coated two fingers in the liquid and stroked the ring of muscle, moving to cup Duncan's jaw and kiss him as he pressed the first finger inside.

"Ah…sss…hurts…jim." Duncan hissed out through gritted teeth.

"I know, baby…it'll get better; I promise…take a deep breath for me?" Jim cooed into Duncan's ear, as he arched off the mattress in pain. He felt the Scot inhale and exhale slowly, his breath tickling against Jim's own lips. He pushed the finger in further, reaching for Duncan's prostate, which he found after a little crooking and further stroking. He ran his fingertip over it, watching as Duncan mewled happily and pulled Jim up for another heated kiss.

"See, that felt good didn't it? Can you handle another finger?" Jim asked hoarsely, his rock-hard erection beginning to ache at the lack of attention. He ignored this impulsive thought and waited for Duncan's response. Another nod was all the sign he needed to press on. He pressed another finger inside the tight entrance, slowly pushing until he was knuckle deep. He stilled his movements until he was sure the pain had eased, watching the frown disappear from the Scot's forehead to be replaced with fluttering eyelids. Jim was shocked when Duncan bucked his hips, impaling himself further on Jim's fingers.

"Need you…your cock inside me…please Jim, I need…" he moaned as Jim started to scissor and stretch the pink hole a little more. Jim nodded and removed his slick fingers, granting a hiss of disappointment and still-evident pain from Duncan. Grabbing the condom and applying it quickly, Jim pressed the tip of his aching throbbing erection to the tight entrance. Their eyes locked as he pressed slowly inside.

Duncan hissed again and screwed his eyes tight shut, frowning and arching his back.

Jim knew how much it hurt to be fucked, whether it was your first time or if you did it all the time. The pain was like no other, and he took pity on the beautiful Scot beneath him. He reached up and ran a hand through the caramel Mohawk, placing feather-light kisses over his forehead, eyelids, earlobes and cheekbones, before finally capturing Duncan's lips in a searing kiss. As he had him distracted with his tongue he sheathed himself inside the tight heat.

They rocked their hips together lightly, Duncan's erection pressing against Jim's stomach and smearing pre-cum over it. he pulled out a little and pushed back, looking up at Duncan to make sure it was okay, he had his eyes closed as they rolled back in his head, moaning a constant litany of _yes yes yes oh god yes._

They rocketed towards orgasm together, with a speeding up of Jim's thrusts as he fisted and stroked Duncan's erection in time with the rhythm. Duncan came over his and Jim's stomachs with a cry of Jim's name, as his muscles clamped down around the cadet's cock, Jim came moments later, thrusting with abandon into the tight hole.

"Fuckin' hell! Tha'…tha' was amazin', Jim!" Duncan panted out, as Jim pulled out and removed the condom, tossing it into the bin and lying back down next to him.

"Mm, it really was. Was your first time okay? I didn't hurt you too much did I?" Jim whispered as he tucked Duncan's head under his chin. He reached into his drawer and pulled out a dry washcloth, wiping both of them clean before kissing Duncan on the nose. He threw the cloth into his laundry pile and smiled.

"It was great. I'll need to dabble with being a bottom a bi' more often from now on. Nah, doesnae hurt much anymore. Thank you for going gentle on me." Duncan murmured against his collarbone, placing a light kiss there as his eyelids drifted closed.

"Good. Sleep now darlin'." Jim whispered back, pulling the blankets over them and letting sleep claim him.

The next morning Jim woke to find Duncan still asleep on his shoulder. Damn! He was so hot.

He looked at the clock and saw that it was ten o'clock and remembered he had an engineering lecture in thirty minutes. He slipped into the bathroom and had a speedy shower, grabbing his uniform from the back of his desk chair and some clean underwear. When he returned from the bathroom he saw that Duncan was awake and pulling his boxers on.

"You can borrow some of my clean ones if you want?" Jim suggested, making Duncan jump a little. He smiled as he looked Jim up and down.

"That'd be grand, thanks. You goin' somewhere today?" the older man asked as Jim tossed him some boxers.

"Yeah, sorry. I've got a lecture in about fifteen minutes. You've got your gig this afternoon, right? I'll walk you to the entrance and you can make your way back from there. Sorry I have to rush you out of here Duncan." Jim explained scratching the back of his neck.

"Nah, its cool, love. It's not like we're married or anythin'. Aye, sounds great." Duncan said, smiling lightly as he pulled yesterday's t-shirt and jeans on in a rush. After Jim watched him pull his boots on and run a hand through his hair, he stood at Jim's side, wincing a little after last nights activities.

They moved out of the room and walked in comfortable silence towards the lecture hall. Jim got a few curious glances as he walked with his arm at the small of Duncan's back. As he waited outside the room for the lecture hall Duncan leant down and kissed him hard on the mouth, pressing him into the wall.

"Thanks for last night, darlin'. I had a great time. I slipped me number into your phone so text me if you want another hook up, yeah?" he whispered into Jim's ear as the cadet shivered in pleasure, he nods absently.

This was when Spock came out of his office. Jim had just pulled Duncan down for another searing kiss as Spock walked literally into them, shoving Duncan's hips into Jim's pleasantly, but the jolt forced them to break apart.

Spock looked between them, about to open his mouth and reprimand, but then he saw that the cadet in question was none other than Jim. His stomach plummeted and the good mood he was previously in at finishing his marking and lecture plans drifted away. The shock and pain must've shown on his delicate pale features as Jim and the other man were looking at him quizzically.

Duncan kissed Jim on the lips once more and hugged him lightly.

"I've gotta get goin'. Thanks again, love." he said against Jim's plump pink lips. Jim nodded and hugged back. Duncan dashed off in the direction of the entrance hall and Jim exhaled happily at the great night he'd had.

"I see you have moved on." Spock said bitterly, with enough venom to wound Jim. But his good mood wouldn't be punctured so easily.

"Yeah, it's not a crime for a _single_ guy to kiss another _single_ guy, Spock. It's not like there's anyone to let down or disappoint with my whorish behaviour these days." Jim countered back coolly, staring the Vulcan down.

This seemed to do the trick, as Spock flinched a little, knowing his wrongs were still hurting Jim. Guilt flooded him and he stepped back as some cadets passed between them.

"Jim, I-

"Don't bother Spock. I don't have time for your vulcan-repressed drama and pain right now; I've got a lecture to go to." Jim interrupted him, as his professor walked towards the room. Spock breathed in a shaky breath as Jim wounded him again.

There really was no love lost between them anymore. Jim was moving on with abandon; Spock was just a painful distant memory to him.

Spock decided that he needed meditation to control his broiling mind that was so weak to Jim's vicious barbs. Normally Spock could brush off an insult or comment and he had done throughout his childhood on Vulcan, but when they fell from his Jim's lips they could kill him. The fact that Spock would always deny was that Jim wasn't his anymore. He had no right to be possessive of the man he had hurt. Clearly Jim didn't think Spock was his, or he wouldn't be moving on with others.

But Spock did not want to give up on them, on Jim, on everything they had had. He wanted to have hope and faith. While his Vulcan logic told him to do everything but, he ignored it, favouring his human needs. His mother would be proud of him having such an indulgence of his humanity.

As Jim sat in his engineering class waiting for it to start, the notorious Sebastian Jones sauntered up to his row and sat next to him. He was _notorious_ for two reasons; his epic sex drive and his promiscuity among male and female cadets. And to be honest Jim could see why he was so successful in that particular area from his gorgeous body and beautiful face (besides the fact that he and Jim had hooked up a few times and from what he could remember Seb was very flexible).

"Hey Jimmy, how's life going for my favourite little blonde?" Seb asked as he slung an arm around Jim's shoulders and smiled languidly. Jim was pretty much under this guy's charm from the second he'd sidled up. Seb had dark ginger hair that was cut short and spiky. He was tall and slightly muscular and there were tattoos around his arms. All of his pale skin was covered in a layer of tiny freckles, but not an excessive amount. And he had something about him that was just attractive to everyone; his charisma levels were off the charts and he was just charming (hence the large number of notches on his bedpost).

"I'm alright thanks, Seb. How've you been since I last saw you?" Jim replied, hoping the lecturer wouldn't turn up so he could carry on chatting to Seb. He heard the ginger man chuckle, as they both recalled the time they had last been together. It was in Jim's quarters a few months into joining Starfleet. He had been coupled with Seb on an engineering project and sufficed to say they didn't do a lot of research on it when they met up. They did get the project completed in the first meeting, allowing the rest of the two weeks to meet up and fool around.

"Oh, awesome thanks; there have been a few guys and girls between then and now, though you'll always be one of my favourites in that department. I love those itty bitty hips of yours when they're rolling and bucking down against mine." Seb replied, leaning in and whispering the latter half of his sentence right into Jim's ear. A pleasant shiver ran through him at the sultry tone. Jim blushed lightly.

"Uh…thanks I guess. Are you cruising for a hook up?" Jim replied, also in a whisper.

Seb snuggled further into his side and licked his lips.

"Would you be willing to agree to a hook up, Jimmy baby?" Seb said huskily back, running his hand up Jim's inner thigh and raising his eyebrows. Jim nodded absently as those narrow fingers palmed his crotch through his uniform.

"Y-yeah. I've got a free period after this…I mean…if you want to-

"Perfect, love. I'll see if I can get through this lecture without coming in my pants thinking about all the things I'm going to be bending you over in about an hour?" Seb crooned into his ear as he planted a kiss to Jim's jaw. Jim stared straight forwards, trying to focus as the lecturer walked in and started to talk at them. Jim could barely keep his eyes off the attractive man next to him, trying to take notes but he could feel those dark eyes boring through him as his hand moved across the paper. The hour felt like a million hours, as thoughts of the impending sex started to course through his brain too. By the time the bell rang Jim was dragging Seb along the corridors and shoving him into his room wantonly pressing their bodies together.

"Need you…fuck me now…Seb please?" Jim pleads, between kissing Seb hard and trying to breathe at the same time. Next thing Jim knew he was being shoved into a wall and kissed senseless. His head fell back against said wall as Seb removed Jim's jacket and t-shirt and kissed down towards his jutting hip bones and golden happy trail.

He could feel Seb's lips against his hard cock and it took everything he had not to buck his hips. The ginger head at his waist moved forwards, unfastening the button and unzipping his Starfleet trousers with his teeth and tongue. After this was accomplished Seb stood up and kissed Jim again, while he had him distracted he dragged Jim's remaining clothes off and gasped as he saw the newly exposed erection.

"Nice. Just as I remember it." Seb remarked under his breath as he swooped down and took Jim's head into his mouth, licking and sucking it slowly.

"Ah fuck, Seb! You're….fuck! Really good at that…oh yeah." Jim whined as the ginger man bobbed his head up and down his hard dick, laving and tracing a vein on the underside. Without a warning Seb removed his mouth completely, but before Jim could move or complain he ran a tongue down over his balls and over his perineum causing a high pitched mewl to fall from Jim's lips.

Brown eyes locked with Jim's blue ones as a pale blush rose up his cheeks. Seb smirked up at Jim and he wondered what else he could possibly do, and what that smirk meant. Seb spread Jim's knees apart gently, before moving his mouth back to Jim, tonguing his perineum again before licking his way back to circle Jim's puckered entrance.

"H-holy shit Seb!" Jim gasped out, surprised that he liked what the other man was doing to him. Then Seb was plunging his moist hot tongue inside Jim, making his legs almost buckle at the sensation of being lightly stretched apart.

After a few more minutes of the tongue-fucking, Seb removed his mouth again and came back up to Jim's level, he hefted Jim's legs up and pulled him to his body, carrying the whimpering blonde over to his bed, before falling onto it with him beneath him.

"T-too many clothes, Seb…need you now." Jim whispered into the silence looking into Seb's face desperately.

"yeah, darlin', I know." Seb replied, removing all of his uniform in record time before moving back into Jim's embrace. Jim kissed his way down Seb's jaw to his collarbone, licking and sucking a love bite into the freckled skin. The blonde fumbled his way through his bedside drawer for a condom and the bottle of lube he kept there. A second later Seb took it from him, applied the condom and lubed himself up.

"Ready, babe?" Seb whispered against Jim's parted kiss-reddened lips as he aligned the head of his dick with Jim's stretched entrance. As the blonde nodded he pushed inside, sheathing himself completely within the tight heat.

He rutted his hips, pushing in and pulling out of Jim slowly at first, but sped up when Jim wrapped his legs around him and whimpered in wanton need. They created a steady rhythm of Seb thrusting and Jim raising his itty bitty hips to meet each move forwards.

Minutes later Jim was calling out Seb's name in a steady rhythm and clenching around the hard cock within him, as pearly cum shot from his aching erection over both of their stomachs. Seb followed him seconds later, aiming a few more hard thrusts against Jim's abused prostate before pulling out and chucking the condom into the bin.

"Wow Seb. That was…well you certainly live up to your reputation in the sex department." Jim said, as he replaced his discarded uniform. He heard Seb chuckle from across the room where he was standing before Jim's floor-length mirror turning his head from side to side.

"That was one hell of a love bite you gave me there, babe. People will talk. Not that they don't already talk about me." The ginger boy replied as he pulled his own uniform back on.

"Sorry, got a bit caught up in the moment there. Look, not that I didn't have fun or that I want to kick you out, but I've got to get to a Chemistry seminar with Professor Pike across campus in about…oh 5 minutes." Jim said, looking at the clock by his bed and all but shooing the other man towards his door.

"Alright then. See you around, my sexy little blonde." Seb drawled, kissing Jim lightly on the lips and swaggering off in the opposite direction. Jim smiled after him and watched that fine ass as it sauntered away.

Jim tore off in the direction of pike's office, arriving there just on time, panting heavily and a little flushed.

Little did Jim know that while he was being fucked into the mattress Spock was filing a report against him concerning how he had cheated on the Kobayashi Maru test.

The Vulcan held the report in his trembling hands. He had just written it as a spike of insane and unwarranted jealousy after seeing Jim with the attractive Scottish man. Yes he might regret doing this, but he could not allow his candle-burning for the blonde to blind his professionalism. Jim had cheated on the test, and he needed to be punished for this behaviour. If it meant the final nail in the coffin that was their relationship, then at least Spock could say he had done the right thing.

He walked to the admirals' office and knocked lightly on the glass door.

"enter." One of the admirals spoke clearly from inside. Spock walked through the door, nodded at the admirals in turn and placed the folder on the desk. He didn't say a word before turning and leaving the office.

**Well, that's another chapter done. **

**Not a lot of spock/kirk in this one - mainly them being separate in Starfleet and going about their business. More miscommunication and distraction from the prime directive of them just BEING TOGETHER FFS.**

**I'm debating whether or not to kill Amanda off or not…I mean I know it's canon but it's so mean **** I think I will and then I will let kirk comfort spock about it. **

**All the other stuff I'm okay with. But I'm not writing spock/Uhura so that won't feature, and they still won't be getting together for a good 3-4 chapters (so if you want to give up on this story until the schmoopy fluffy sugary ending then I will totally understand, I know all this angst and separation doesn't make for easy romance for the boys)**

**Bit of kobayashi maru drama - a fair bit of movie canon to trawl through but I can't completely ignore it forever.**

**Lots of Jim having sex with OCS that my friend Tilly (****Prince Nightingale****) helped me to create. I tried to keep away from self insertion (as much as I would love to sleep with a young Jim kirk I didn't want to go down that road) no, I'm nothing like that Nellie girl I wrote. I needed to establish Jim Kirk's 'playboy frat boy' reputation while Spock was left reeling by his unfortunate trapping by Uhura-cakes.**

**And Spock growing some balls and telling tales to the admirals about Jim being a naughty little cadet and cheating on the big mean kobayashi maru test.**

**It's another really long chapter (15 freaking pages) sorry about taking so long to update, I know I use this excuse a lot but I've had a lot of University work and revision to occupy my time recently. In a couple of weeks my exams will be done with and I will be free for ages; so I will try and do a few chapters more.**

**Wow really long author's note this time :S **

**Hope this is okay.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Rollerskating 14 **

**Kobayashi trial and getting onto the enterprise.**

Jim and Bones were sitting together in their room, working on respective essays when the blonde heard his PADD chime from under various books and pages. The doctor dug it out from underneath everything and handed it to Jim.

Bones had stopped writing, waiting to see what the message said. Jim opened it quickly and scanned the few sentences of text.

_Cadet James Tiberius Kirk,_

_A meeting of the council of cadets and senior staff has been called for 3:00pm tomorrow in the main atrium in the C block. It is required that you attend; not doing so will be met with further punishment. _

_Admiral Komack._

Jim read it aloud to his friend, who shrugged, wondering why he hadn't received the same message.

"What do you think it's about?" Jim asked with a little quiver in his voice.

"As you got it and it sounded kind of huffy and urgent I'm guessing it's about the Kobayashi Maru thing. But that's just a guess. Just feign ignorance, or say you wanted to show initiative, that 'no-win scenarios are lame' argument will work in your favour. Besides they can't kick out the son of George Kirk; the best thing at this academy since sliced bread." Bones said, not a hint of mockery in his voice. Jim's heart swelled at the compliment and he vaulted across the room to hug his friend, scattering paper everywhere as he did so.

"Thanks Bones! You always know what to say to make me feel better." Jim trilled, disentangling himself from the hug and moving back to his own bed to finish the chemistry essay he had been working on.

"That's alright kid. That thing you did to the Kobayashi was genius; they should give you some credit for it, even if it was _technically_ cheating." The usually surly doctor muttered, smiling but not looking up from his report.

"I don't think they'll give me any credit for screwing with their defeatist little test, but thanks anyway. You want coffee?" Jim asked standing and stretching his tan arms above his head, walking towards the small kitchen.

"Love some." Bones replied rolling his shoulders as he sat up straighter.

Both men stayed up late finishing their work, not going to bed until early morning. Jim did that most nights anyway, especially during the kobayashi hacking period. So he was used to going to bed at 2am and getting back up at 8am. He'd complain the next day about being like a zombie and dragging his feet and slumping into his lectures with the energy of a worn out three year old, but he was used to it all the same.

Jim found himself in a chemistry lecture, Seb sitting to his left and a few of his other science buddies sitting on his right.

"Did any of you guys get a message like this?" Jim asked, pulling his PADD out of his bag and handing it around. They all told him that they hadn't. Jim started to worry when he heard that.

"Don't worry, babe. I'm sure it's just some professor you fucked wanting a second round with you. 'Further punishment' hmm, you been getting up to some kinky stuff with any Profs lately?" Seb asked in a whispered leer as their lecturer passed by their desk.

Jim turned his head, a fake-wounded expression on his face.

"I haven't fucked any professors, thanks very much. Well not ones from Starfleet anyway." The blonde replied indignantly. Of course Jim had fucked a professor, but he wasn't going to admit to that. Besides he hadn't done any kinky stuff with Spock, he wasn't really into teacher/student role play or any of that weird stuff. Seb gave him a look and smirked.

"What about that super cute blonde guy that was in your chemistry seminar? I'm pretty sure you fucked him sideways solidly for a week or so." Seb reminded him, talking about Dan Wilkins.

"Well, yeah I did. But he wasn't actually a professor so that doesn't count, and anyway I really don't think this is about the kinky spanking punishment you're talking about. I think I'm in some deep shit." Jim said back, trying not to think about being _punished_ by Dan Wilkins, damn that guy was hot, and Jim really should try to focus on the lecture.

The day passed by slowly, Jim's nerves starting to shred thinking about the meeting at three pm. All of the people in his classes were talking about it, but they hadn't received an ambiguous message about it promising punishment. What if he got kicked out of Starfleet? What the hell would he do with his life? Go back to Iowa and be miserable forever?

As the bell rang at the end of his physics lecture at 2:45 he and Chekov walked towards the C block, talking about the two essays they had just been set, Jim keeping the topic as far away from the meeting and his fate as he possibly could. They met Bones on the way and took their seats in the large room.

As the noise died down the admiral cleared his throat calling everyone's attention to him.

"This session has been called to resolve a troubling matter, James T Kirk, step forward." The older man said in a commanding voice, Jim gulped but walked down the stairs to stand at the podium. The admiral levelled him with a stare and continued talking into the silent room.

"Cadet Kirk, evidence has been submitted to this council suggesting that you violated the ethical code of conduct pursuant to regulation 17.43 of the Starfleet code. Is there anything you care to say before we begin, sir?" Komack's voice carried around the atrium and the tension ramped up a few percent at the accusation. Jim didn't turn around to look at any of the cadets, he could practically feel bones' sympathy burning a hole through him, and he was sure uhura was up there somewhere smirking like a bitch. It was probably her that ratted him out. Jim tried to project bravado and confidence even though his insides had turned to jelly.

"Yes, I believe I have the right to face my accuser directly." Jim said looking into the admiral's face as he frowned a little but nodded towards the crowd. Jim turned to watch the last person he would have thought of stand up. Spock adjusted his black cadet uniform top and avoided Jim's eyes.

"Step forward, please." Komack said looking between Jim and Spock.

Jim's heart felt like it had stopped, he tried not to show the shock on his face, although he wanted to shout and scream and throw something at the pretty Vulcan. Before Jim could let his thoughts run away with him the admiral's deep voice distracted him.

"This is Commander Spock. He is one of our most distinguished cadets. He had programmed the kobayashi maru exam for the last year. Commander?"

Jim nodded slightly, pretending that he didn't know Spock and hadn't slept with him and kissed him and seen him naked. Within his mind Jim was reeling from the information that it was Spock that had created the kobayashi maru test. The test that had been driving him crazy trying to pass it, the defeatist test that he had to hack and change just to be able to beat it. And Spock had created it? What the fuck. Spock knew what it was like to be trapped in something you didn't want, trapped by decisions of other people, and he knew how crappy it was being in the middle of a no-win scenario. So how could the Vulcan have made a test that pretty much centred on the fake crew of the kobayashi getting defeated and the cadets taking it had to just sit there and watch it happen without being able to do anything about it.

If Jim hadn't given him that Starfleet application Spock would have been snared by a marriage he didn't want, in an education system that treated him like an abomination. It just didn't make any sense.

"Cadet Kirk, you somehow managed to install and activate a subroutine in the programming code, thereby changing the conditions of the test." Spock said in a monotone voice that had a shiver driving down Jim's spine. Spock had never spoken to him like that before. 'Come on Kirk, get your game face on; if he wants to fight then be ready for him' was what Jim was thinking as he turned and looked at Spock.

"Your point being?" Jim countered, raising a blonde eyebrow and narrowing his eyes a little. He wanted the accusation to come from Spock; if he was going to go as far as reporting him to the Starfleet brass he at least wanted Spock to have the bottle to accuse him properly.

"In academic vernacular, you cheated." The admiral confirmed, as Jim flicked his blue eyes to the older man.

"Let me ask _you _something I think we all know the answer to. The test itself is a cheat, isn't it? I mean, you programmed it to be unwinnable" Jim replied, turning back to Spock and glaring at him a little. It was easy to drag up his angry feelings towards Spock. After Spock had cheated on him with uhura it was all that he had felt for a long time. It was pretty difficult to shove all of the good memories of him and spock aside though, every time e looked at spock all he could see was him stretched out on the bed in his Iowan farm house, or baking cookies covered in flour at Amanda's brother's house, or him kissing Jim hard on the mouth in the roller rink. So to see him now, glaring daggers and accusing him of cheating was a little more than painful.

"Your argument precludes the possibility of a no win scenario" Spock said icily, staring into Jim's eyes for the first time since they had entered the room.

"I don't believe in no won scenarios." Jim replied trying to convey that Spock _knew _that about him. And Jim thought that Spock might just be able to understand that.

"Then not only did you violate the rules, you also failed to understand the principal lesson." Spock drawled, waiting for Jim to take the bait; which the blonde did immediately.

"Please, enlighten me." Jim asked a second later. It was as if it was their own argument and none of the other people there mattered at all. The silence was engulfing as Spock thought over his response. The next thing Spock said was like a dagger through Jim's heart. It was like Spock had dug around in his head and found the thing that would hurt him the most.

"You of all people should know, cadet Kirk, that a captain cannot cheat death." The Vulcan said coolly, not noticing how the cadets in the room started to whisper as a ripple of shock filtered through the crowd.

Did Spock really care about him so little that he could bring that up as an argument, as a weapon against him? He had told him over and over that the death of his and Sam's father had been really painful for the Kirk family. That the perfect image of his father hung over his head all through his time in Starfleet and how George Kirk's memory followed him like a ghost. Maybe he didn't mean anything to Spock anymore. Maybe Jim didn't have the right to take the high ground on ex-boyfriend behaviour; he had been sleeping around a lot and not thinking about how Spock might feel.

Jim took a breath and glared across the room at Spock, the whispers still moving around the room like a wind in the trees.

"I of all people?" Jim replied through gritted teeth as he watched uncertainty flicker in Spock's dark eyes for a second before he spoke again.

"Your father, Lieutenant George Kirk, assumed command of his vessel before being killed in action, did he not?" Spock said in a clear voice free of any emotion. Quite the low blow, even for an argument, bringing up dead relatives was a no-go area. Even though Jim had never known his father, he had heard stories from his mother and Sam, and from a lot of the professors at Starfleet, and a lot of people in Iowa could wax lyrical about the fabulous George Kirk. Jim brought the bravado back up, painting a shit-eating grin on his young face and flashing his baby blues at Spock. Who ever said a defence mechanism was a bad thing?

"I don't think you like the fact that I beat your test?" Jim replied with a hint of humour in his voice, looking back down at the wooden podium, running a nail along the patterns there. Spock continued as if Jim had never interrupted him.

"Furthermore, you have failed to divine the purpose of the test." The Vulcan said pursing his lips and blinking rapidly.

******"**Enlighten me again." Jim said trying to keep his voice free of the nervousness that was coursing through him. This hardly mattered as a trial for cheating anymore, this was Spock being petty and snobbish and hurtful just to prove his pompous point. Jim didn't really care about the kobayashi maru test, or what the professors and admirals thought of him. What was causing him to feel weird was the way Spock knew how to pick a fight with him and hurt him with just a few well chosen memories and smart words.

****"The purpose is to experience fear. Fear in the face of certain death. To accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain." Spock spieled out as if he had learnt it from a test book. As Jim opened his mouth to respond a messenger ran into the room offering a PADD to the admirals. Looks of fear crossed the superiors' faces and Jim's words were lost in his throat. Spock looked at him expectantly, wanting to hear his response but he never got his wish as the admiral announced the message to the cadets.

"We've received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system I hereby order all cadets to report to hangar one immediately. Dismissed." The older man said, looking around the room seriously.

As Jim let out a sigh of relief at the trial being over and being free from spock's dark accusing glare, bones walked down the stairs and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"You okay, kid? That pointy-eared bastard was way out of line with some of the things he said. Especially after you and him…well yeah. Come on let's get to the hangar, Jim." The doctor said a note of comfort in his voice that Jim always relished.

"Yeah I'm okay Bonesy, still reeling a bit but okay." Jim replied walking out of the atrium towards the hangar in question. Spock had left the room before Jim even had a chance to say anything to him, though to be fair his home planet, and by extension his family, was in danger so he could hardly be blamed for freaking out a little bit.

Jim and Bones arrived at the hangar and waited for their names to be called. Bones was on the enterprise as medical officer, Jim swelled with pride at hearing this information. He waited for his name but it never came and he frowned deeply. Inquiring as to why his name wasn't called out Jim found out that he was on academic suspension until the trial thing is resolved. Fuck his life.

McCoy came dashing over to him, looking worried. Jim told him about the suspension and his friend looked stricken, then Jim watches as he can almost hear the cogs in bones' brain moving and then a look of revelation shows in the older man's face.

"This adventure ain't complete without James T Kirk; come with me, kid." Bones says, taking hold of Jim's elbow and dragging him into a medical room of sorts.

Meanwhile uhura was talking to Spock in a low voice.

"I've wanted to be on the enterprise ever since I've joined Starfleet. You said I was a good student, with aural sensitivity and I quote "_unparalleled ability_ to identify sonic _anomalies_ in subspace transmission tests". You have to let me on the enterprise, please spock." The woman gushed and pleaded. The Vulcan regarded her seriously and made the relevant change on the PADD he was holding. She nodded triumphantly and watched as Spock turned to address another cadet.

Gaila strolled up to her, laughing quietly.

"Oral sensitivity, huh? Way to use sex to get ahead. A few well placed blow jobs could get you on the command track if you wanted." The green-skinned alien replied, winking. Uhura rolled her eyes at her friend and shook her head. Gaila chuckled again when she saw the Vulcan's ears turn green as he had obviously heard their conversation. Uhura turned to him and watched him walk across the hangar and to a shuttle craft.

"_Aural_ sensitivity; with my _ears_ not my mouth." The brunette replied tapping her ear in emphasis.

"I can't believe that worked though, you just spiel back his own whispered sweet nothings and he changes the schedules. All you had to do was bone him a few times and you've already got him wrapped around your little finger. Genius!" Gaila added, apparently ignoring Uhura's comment and continuing on-topic.

"I didn't 'bone' him; we kissed once that was all. He was vehemently not interested." Uhura explained, rolling her eyes again and sighing slightly. Gaila's eyes bugged at hearing this, as if to say 'you seriously didn't hit that?'

"That's a shame. I'd have liked to have seen the glorious bod that I'm sure is hidden beneath that uniform sprawled across your bed after you've run out to one of your andorian lectures at what-the-fuck-o-clock in the morning." The red head commented, a dreamy smile coming across her face while she obviously fantasised about Spock's body all spread out on a bed.

"Gaila, keep your brain out of the gutter there's a serious situation going on here, and your sex pheromones are pretty stifling when the pornographic part of your brain starts working." Uhura placed a hand on her friend's shoulder to try to bring her back to reality, it seemed to work as the alien tossed her ginger curls and her eyes became focused again.

"Sorry Ny. Yeah, there's not a lot of chance because I think that pointy-eared friend of yours is a raging homosexual anyway, and as hot as that is, we lack the appendage needed to keep him satisfied. Although a strap-on might-

Gaila seemed to be unable to get off of the topic of Spock, which was almost ironic seeing as getting _on_ Spock was what was going through her mind at that moment

"Seriously, stop Gaila. No talking about sex until we at least get onto the enterprise and are on duty after our first shift, okay?" Uhura chided, looping their arms together and dragging Gaila towards the shuttle for the Enterprise. Uhura couldn't shake the image of Gaila with a strap on and Spock sprawled over her bed out of her mind; it was a rather horrifying thing to think about, if not the smallest bit hot.

Elsewhere Bones was searching for something in the medical room while Jim watched him with interest. He rarely got to watch his friend at work so stood back and enjoyed it for a second.

"Take a seat." Bones said, retrieving a small vial of liquid and inserting it into a hypo, Jim frowned at said hypo and felt the familiar sting in his neck before it was even administered.

"I'm gonna give you a vaccine against viral infection from melvaran mud fleas." The doctor explained, ignoring Jim's wince and recoil as he injected the blonde.

"What for?" Jim asked in a pained voice as he glared at his friend.

"To give you the symptoms." The doctor countered immediately moving around the room looking for something.

"what are you talking about?" Jim asked, more than a little confused about why he was being injected with some weird virus vaccine.

"You'll start to lose vision in your left eye." He heard bones say from across the room.

As he said this his left vision did start to blur and mist up.

"Yeah, I already have." Jim noted as Bones moved towards him, helping him stand from the bed.

"And you'll get a really bad headache and a flop sweat." Bones reeled off the symptoms easily, not paying attention to his frowning friend. He placed a hand tentatively in the small of Jim's back pushing him along hoping the kid didn't have some awful reaction to it that left him in a gelatinous pile on the ground, kind of hard to transport something without bones or a functioning brain.

They walked the short distance to the shuttlecraft that would be flying out to the enterprise, and the attendant there scanned the list for Jim's name and reported it wasn't down for duty on board the ship.

"medical code states the treatment and transport of a patient is to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician, which is me, so I'm taking Mr. Kirk aboard, or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?" Bones said, anger and impatience edging his words as he held up his heavily-breathing friend whose cheeks were already tinted red and his pupils blown wide.

"As you were." The officer replied, sighing minutely. Bones rolled his eyes and huffed out a breath before replying.

"As _you_ were." Were the only words the grumpy doctor said before dragging Jim onto the shuttlecraft and buckling his friend into a seat next to him then he buckled his own belt and watched the scenery drift and swim by as they made their way to the flag ship. Bones felt the familiar unease at being on something that flew, so he turned away from the window to check Jim over. His temperature was elevated and he looked a little green.

"I might throw up on you." Fell from Jim's pursed lips as he began to shiver lightly.

"We're nearly there; once we get onto the ship and down into med bay I can fix you up good and proper. But until then you're gonna have to stick it out I'm afraid." Bones said in a comforting tone, Jim just closed his eyes against the multitude of weird symptoms and nodded vaguely.

**Sorry it's taken so long to get this chapter done, a lot of stuff has been happening. Exams and revision, and then my old laptop died so the beginning of this chapter that I had written was lost :( so I had to re-write it, and then I got distracted by the freedom of summer.**

**But here's another chapter to go along with. It's going to getting into star trek xi (2009) movie stuff from now onwards, so hopefully it won't be too boring/familiar. I'm going to switch up a few things so they apply to my story rather than the spock/uhura storyline (like wtf?) and gaila dying (I had to save her because she's too awesome). **

**Hope this is ok. Sorry for the delay **


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